if walls could talk // calum hood

chapter seven 💕

as much as i want to cry i laugh and stupidly agree calum's stupid comments because what else can i do right? i know it's too early to say anything properly but i thought... i thought he thought that i was different and we connected on a special kind of level.
i start cleaning up and clearing the table when he is finished eating and he goes and sits on the couch with duke again.

"need help" he calls out.

"i'm fine, thanks" i say.

i stare out the kitchen window at the pool while waiting for the sink to fill so i can do dishes because calum said the dishwasher is broken and leaks when it's turned on.
he comes up behind me and puts his arms around my waist making me nervous.

"i've made you mad haven't i?" he says sadly.

"why would i be mad" i sigh knowing damn well i am but i have no right to be.

"because, i didn't say the right things... well, i didn't say what you wanted to hear and it made you mad. i told you before we left australia that everyone leaves, maybe now you see why... i eventually drive people away" 

i turn the water off and i put my hands on his and look down at them, they're so big compared to mine.

"cal you haven't made me mad, i'm not allowed to be mad at you for having an opinion. i'm still here"

i turn around and hug him and put my head on his chest listening to his soft heartbeat. it takes him a few seconds but he embraces the hug and i feel his chin on my head.

"roy can do dishes, i want to talk with you... i want to get to know you, the real you and what you're about"  he says taking me to the couch.

he pushes duke off and puts him on the floor and looks at me to speak.

"well, what do you want to know" i ask nervously.

"everything. i know your name and how kind you are but i don't know your actual story"

so i open up and tell him i tell him about my family, my mum and dad and how amazing and supportive they are of me and mostly everything i do because going to LA was not one something they were keen on. i tell him about my school life back in new zealand and the challenges and struggles of that and how it developed me as a person. we talked about high school and graduation and everything and before i knew it it was 11:30 at night and dark.

"fascinating, i knew i was right when i said you're better than me... look at you go" calum says.

i smile shyly at him because i know i'm not better than him.

"wanna go to bed, it's getting on but you'll have to sleep in my bed with me because roy's got a room and the other guest bedroom roof leaks when it's been raining" he says offering a hand.

i follow him to the bedroom and go into the bathroom to brush my teeth while he fixes to get in bed. i get changed into what i sleep in and look at myself in the mirror and feel insecure. i can't go out there because i'm scared he's going to look at me and not like what he sees.

"you coming, you okay" cal calls out.

"can you like turn the lights out and cover your eyes so i can cone out and not be seen" i call back.

he laughs and his voice gets louder until he's standing right at the door.

"i'm not turning the lights out and have you walk into the draws or something. you gotta come out one way or another, there's only one door"

i stand there for a few moments more  looking at myself hating my body and being unhappy with the way that i think it looks and i'm worried calum would see it just as bad if not worse than i see it. i just sleep in underwear and a lacy bralette at the moment because i lost some of my luggage on the first day going between new zealand and sydney and i feel so uncomfortable showing this much skin in front of him.

suddenly the door handle starts moving down slowly and then flings open and i try run but cal grabs me and throws me over his shoulder making me scream. he spins around a few times his skin is so soft and warm on mine then he throws me on the bed and starts laughing.

"i told you, you had to come out one way or another plus... what were you even scared of" he says getting on his knees and hovering himself over me.

i reach up to pull him down then remember what i'm doing and push him off and wrap the sheets around me so quickly.
cal pouts and flops down on his side of the bed.

"now i can turn out the light now that you're here safely" he jokes.

we say goodnight and he turns the light off but i can't sleep and i get the feeling calum can't either