Never fall in love with a straight girl

Part 8

Nicky felt like a piece of her was missing, an emptiness in her core. she knew the reason was Lorna but it was a reason she wouldn't, couldn't, except because she needs to move on from the beautiful woman Nicky had fallen head over heels down the stairs and out the window for. it was painful, too painful for her to handle. 

she walked along the corridor in no direct path, just walking. it relaxed her gave her time to think and understand the reasons Lorna chose Vinnie over her. the obvious one was the fact he had a penis and she didn't. the thought would always make Nicky laugh because her the fact she had a vagina had never bothered Lorna before as she seemed to enjoy her mouth being on it and fingers inside it. No matter how much she tried her thought always went to Lorna then to Vinnie then back to Lorna.

'Nichols, hey, you look like a lost puppy.' Alex said punching her friend lightly in the arm in order to wake her from her trans.

''and you look hot as always Vause'' Nicky said a smirk on her face.

'well I'm married so back off sex addict'

''I haven't had sex with anyone since the riot. with Lorna'' realising what Nicky meant brought Alex back to when she found Nicky fully clothed in the shower looking so broken after having sex with Lorna.

'what about the girl? the one you were making out with in the corridor?'

''nothing happened. she- she wasn't Lorna'' Nicky said not willing to make eye contact. Alex hung her arm around Nickys shoulders directing the shorter girl back to their cube.

'c'mon they're about to start count don't wanna be late' they both laughed. Alex tried everything she could to distract Nicky help her to think about anything other then the girl she loved who was probably in bed wrapped in her husbands arms.

Lorna and Vinnie lay next to each other in silence. neither had spoken to the other since Lorna returned back from Piper's. Vinnie turned on his side to face Lorna who was staring blankly at the ceiling deep in thought.

what's Nicky doing right now?                                                                                                                                         is she in bed asleep?                                                                                                                                                             or up crying to Alex again like Piper said happened so often?

Lorna felt Vinnie's eyes on her and she turned and gave him a hard look. seeing the regret and despair on his face she softened. she did love him in the same way she loved Piper and Alex and Gina and the others but in a much different way to the way she loved Nicky.

'I'm sorry Lorna, babe. I just don't wanna loose you y'know? I love you so much and am scared if you go again you might decide you don't wanna be with me anymore or you'll end up back there' Lorna rested her hand on Vinnie's cheek.

''oh honey I ain't gonna leave. they're still family though. I wanna see them and ya not gonna stop me'' Lorna said looking into Vinnie's eyes to show she was serious.

'I know but I wish you wouldn't I want you to move forward not be stuck in the past. put Carmine first'

''I do. you don't. my day is so repetitive it's the same every single day. I don't got no one to talk to all day till ya get home at 7'' Lorna said pleadingly. she doesn't know what she was pleading for. he wasn't going to stop her. she needs Nicky like she needs air. part of her heart is in that prison the part living inside of Nicky.

'do you even love me?'

''of course I do'' she wasn't lying she loved him. he was a good man but she wasn't in love with him.

Vinnie kissed Lorna on the cheek before closing his eyes and falling asleep his arms draped across her stomach as she lay back to thoughts of prison. the lack of warmth she received from Vinnie's body that she got when she'd be wrapped in Nicky's arms in one of their bunks before and after MAX or when it was moving night and Lorna would lean into Nicky whose arm would lay over he shoulder with her head rested on the brunettes. Lorna felt the tears fall from her eyes.

''oh Nicky, I'm so sorry'' Lorna whispered to herself as she moved herself from Vinnie's grasp knowing she was about to do something insane. she got dressed into a simple pair of jeans and jumper making sure to put back on Nicky's necklace. she rang for a cab and waited for it to pick her up.

when she got a message to say they were there she headed outside and got in the back.

'Litchfield prison please'

''sorry mam where'd you say?''

'Litchfield correctional prison' he started to drive not before giving Lorna the look as if to say she was crazy.

''okay. Are you a cop or something?''

'no. I got family in there'

''oh right. parents or sibling?''

'it's not quite like that. I was in there got released not long ago but my prison family are better then my real family'

''can you just go visit any time? its 1 am after all''

'uh sure' she lied afraid he wouldn't take her if he knew visitation was closed.

They arrived at the prison and Lorna exited the car and payed the driver.

''do you want me to wait Miss?''

'no you go'

''you aren't breaking someone out are you?'' at this Lorna laughed and replied a quick no before heading to the CO entrance taking deep breaths.