lovely | poetry

sunflower boy

tiny, wilting hands, and butterscotch fingers
his skeletal cheeks lost their faint glow
i loved him, loved his golden tears
his honey eyes and rice cake wrists
i wished to hold him close
until my heartbeat sang him a lullaby
and lavender kissed his crinkled lips
his tender flesh stung with each cobalt path
his misery carved along the lines of his skin
his chest held captured sunshine and cotton candy clouds, and yet he wept
somewhere, lost in the mauve mornings, i found him weeping
suffocated by his tears, until the salt left his eyes dry and dusted crimson
suffocated by his clawing hands, worn and scattered with webs of fear
suffocated by his pleas, the ones that crawled from his throat while he lie in restless slumber
no matter how long i held him, whispered to him, begged for sleep's warm arms to whisk him away
he continued to weep, shaking me
asking for the sun
he looked for the golden light he craved in my eyes
his mouth shuddering and his teeth marring his tongue
waiting for me to give him the sun
to retrieve the frail petals he'd left in his wake
touched by splotches of scarlet, and despondent with defeated anguish
and give him a reason to bloom again
for his chapped lips to blossom red once more
for the syrup to leave his blood, so he could move again
for his eyes to arise from their darkened fog, emerge from the blindness and embrace the world
caramel shaded and coffee lined
but as much as i loved him, i could not give him the sun
my sunflower boy, he needed its warmth
he'd grown so cold, he'd been stained azure, and left to die within the constraints of his fragile flesh
he held my fingers, clutched at them, and i sobbed, seeing their ghostly paleness
i missed his wilting hands and butterscotch fingers
i missed his honey tears, born from the uncontrollable warmth in his chest
the homely hearth that simmered within him
i missed his voice, sleeking down the plush dips of his rosebud petals, and coiling in my stomach
i missed my heart's keeper, the one who lived on my smiles, and craved for the sugar i strung in his hair
but he did not return
he was trapped underneath my heavy, filmy gaze
and his words died beneath his throat, his last lingering warmth slowly deserting him
i felt him grow numb to my touch
my sunflower boy hadn't survived the winter
he'd gone without me, and i laid in the snow until my skin broke away
thinking of the love i'd lost
because i couldn't give my precious flower his sun

hello lovelies. i wish i could give you the sun, but you have to promise me you'll try to go on without it. you'll be warm someday. i know it. i believe in you.