just another statistic

pretending to be normal

march 10: holland, 9 weeks pregnant

we walk into my little blue house after telling cameron's parents the news, i asked him to stay, partly because i need him right now, partly because i know he needs me. his mom is never disappointed in him, and she is right now. he hasn't said much but i can tell it's really bothering him. we walk up the stairs and into my room, the afternoon light makes the room bright and gives off happy vibes. although neither of us are particularly happy right now. cam lays down on my bed and i water my plants and feed my goldfish.

"you know, you're going to be an amazing mom." cameron sits up. i smile to myself and turn around.

"thanks, you're going to be an amazing dad." i compliment him back. i walk over to the bed and lay down, he does the same, letting his head rest on my chest.

"do you think my mom will ever look at me the same?" he asks and i'm not quite sure how to answer. he looks at me, expecting an answer.

"well, i don't know. i mean, she'll get over it, and support you i'm sure. i hope she will." i play with his curls. i look down to notice a small tear escaping his eye, he quickly wipes it away. i just hold him tighter. i hardly ever see him cry, this is new. it's hard for me to fully grasp the events of today, i'm pregnant. cam and i are gonna be parents all at 16 years old.

i wake up at around five pm, cameron laying right beside me. we must've fallen asleep. "cam," i whisper softly, "wake up.". he stirs and i get up anyway. i look in the mirror and pull up my shirt, it could be my imagination, but i can see the most tiny bit of a bump there. my baby.

"holland?" cameron sits up and looks around the room for me. i turn around and smile.

"hey. we both fell asleep." i say softly while walking to the bed and kissing his forehead. he smiles up at me.

"what time is it?" he asks me.

"it's 5:13." i answer checking my phone for any notifications. a snapchat from julianna. "wyd today????" i reply, "just saw this, sorry! i'm with cameron.".

"we should set up a doctors appointment for you, just to make sure the baby is okay and all." cameron reminds me.

"we really should. let's ask my parents, i think they'll help us." i open the door and walk out, cameron following behind me. while i'm walking down the stairs, i can't help but think how this will be so much harder when i get further along. we walk into the living room where my parents are doing taxes. they look up.

"hey kids. what's up?" my mom says cautiously, like i might give her more bad news.

"i was wondering if you could help me set up a doctors appointment, for the baby?" i twirl my hair nervously.

"of course sweetheart, bring me your laptop, i'll help." she says and i know i can count on her. i smile and cameron and i get my laptop. i sit down beside my mother and cam sits behind us. "well, here's the place i went to when i was pregnant with you and your brothers. i've seen some teen moms there before, so they'll know how to handle everything. does this place sound good to you two?" she asks.

i look at cameron and he nods. "yes, that sounds great." i answer my mother who nods and looks for their number.

"here, call this number." my mom points to a phone number on the computer screen. i pick up my phone and dial it. a friendly woman answers.

"hello, this is ocean woods obgyn, how may i help you?", i take a deep breath and answer the woman. "hi, i'm holland wright and i'm under the assumption that i'm pregnant. can i make an appointment?" i ask, it feels so weird to say the words i'm pregnant. "alright, how about 4:00 p.m. on friday?" she gives me a date and i mentally check to make sure i have nothing going on. "that sounds great, thank you." i answer shyly.