If I disappear

Heart of a Saint

Jungkook

He pushes me down, his fists clenched around my pale, sweaty wrist. I resist, I try to fight back but I'm ultimately too weak to face him.

The pressure, the pressure on my chest, on my legs. No matter my effort he just presses harder, he makes it so much harder.

"Stay still!" He shouts, the maniacal chuckle drowns me. I want my mom, I want her to tell me that I'll be okay and that this will end. He can't do this.

"Honey have you seen my brief case? The one with--" mom stumbles into my room, obviously tired from working so late.

"What the hell are you doing get off of him!" The pressure is released, a momentary relief. Mom falls to the ground, a whine escapes her lips.

I jump on his back, distracting him long enough for mom to get away. Soon, I'm on my back with him on top again. His fists collide with my cheeks, then my nose. The aggression grew with every hit until finally, I fell unconscious.

Who knows how much time had passed before I woke up to see my mom sitting across the room from me, fast asleep with one of my old stuffed animals in her arms.

Refusing to wake her up, I just turn to my side and stared outside through the wall length window. The dark night plants the world with splashes of outside light.

"Angel?" Moms tired voice chimes, her gentle touch holds my shaking hands. "Angel are you awake?"

"I'm awake mama..." My voice cracks, the sound of pain is quite obvious, "Mama?" I ask, turning to face her, "Yes angel?"

"Is everything... Different now?"

"Different? How so?"

"Like, do we have to move? To get away from this? I'm so sorry mama, I'm sorry I never wanted to do this to you." Tears slowly fall from my cheeks and onto the hospital bed.

Mom pulls me into a soft hug, playing with my hair with her finger tips, "Oh honey, this isn't your fault. As for moving, that's up to you. Whatever what will help you get through this."

"Oh Mama..." I cry, hiding my tear staines face in her shoulder, "It's okay baby, everything will be Okay."

°°°

"Sweetie! Sweets wake up! Wake up it's me, it's mom! Mama is here!" I fight back the resistance, gasping for sweet air.

"Kookie!" Mom yells one last time before I jolt up, drentched in sweat and at a loss for breath.

"M-Mama!" I gasp, reaching out to her, "Hey hey, I'm here Kookie, I'm here."

"I'm sorry." I mumble, standing to get ready, "Are you ready for your first day, honey? If you aren't I can call an--"

"As ready as I'll ever be mom."

"Look at you, my strong little baby."

"Mom," I drag, brushing my hair, " privacy please, I need to get dressed for today."

"Right right, breakfast will be ready in ten, okay?"

"Okay mama."

I stand in front of my full length mirror in the corner of my bathroom. I grimace at what is reflected back, a horrible sight I can't stand to look at most of the time.