If I disappear

Tear

Jungkook

The night seemed to have grown longer, mamas hands run through my hair, a comforting feeling I held close.

I couldn't sleep for the remainder of the time, every time I tried to sleep a memory would play in my mind, a horrible scene I couldn't even breathe.

Just a few more hours, I'll be fine.

Yoongi

The pain is back. The ache in my chest. The emptiness in my stomach. The constant, overwhelming, crushing fear. It's not going away I can't fix it. I struggle to even pick my head up, to breathe, to open my eyes in the morning.

I don't want the sympathy, I don't want anything. Well... I want the pain to go away.

You see, I'm floating in the middle of the ocean, the deepest ocean. It's a perfect day yet for some reason my water is rocky. It slides me around, throwing me into the water just so the monsters that lurk there can get me too.

The light, the surface fades away, bubbles of motion escape from under my flailing arms and legs as I struggle to swim my way up to the top.

There's a pounding in my ears only gets worse the further I sink. Everything only gets worse the further I sink. I can't hear anything I just fall down to the bottom of the ocean.

Down, down, down.

I'm holding on to this last bit of air left in my lungs, thinking if I hold it long enough I'll make it back to the surface. The air escapes faster and faster with every air bubble that rises above me.

Nothing I do helps me rise above it, nothing I is good enough to save me. The sharks can smell my blood wasting away in the salt water, a part of wants them to take me yet another thinks I can do this. Well not so much as think as lie.

There's these standards I live by. Standards for myself. I have to be perfect I'm nothing I have to get better. But it is hard to do so when you're at the bottom of the ocean drowning to death.

The force and pressure will lift once I die, my limp body can just float back up then it's finally someone else's problem.

Jungkook

That morning was hard to get through, watching my mother be so happy for reasons I couldn't understand. If I just forget him I can finally move on.

Maybe I could've done that, maybe if I hadn't heard the knock at the door:

I stand from the table, sighing with a sudden worsening in my agony, "Can I help you?" I ask, my eyes to my feet.

"Jungkook..." He whispers through the croak in his voice, "Yoongi?" I question, hugging him with a small relief lifted.

"Yoongi what are you doing here?"

"Oh finally Yoongi, I thought you changed your mind." Mama says with a melody in her voice.

"Mom you did this?"

"Oh hush you're glad I did."

He rests his hand on my cheek, turning my face to his, "I love you too." He mouths, gently smiling.

"Too?"

"That night in the hospital. I heard you."

I hide my face in his shoulder, groaning in embarrassmet, "You did hear me!"

"Glad I did."

I smile in return, bending down to kiss him. Our lips lock for just a second, a second before my moms fangirling giggle is heard from the hallway.

"Okay mom wow, nice." I say, pulling Yoongi inside.

Yoongi

For somewhere so beautiful like a coral reef, I seem to only sink lower and lower. As if the bottom wasn't enough, there's more ocean.

The fighting, struggling, muted screaming, can't help me I just continue to fall.

Fall, fall, fall.

The screams all sound the same. They merge into one giant voice that screams and screams and when I try to scream back... All I get is water in my lungs and a throb in my head.

I see the empty darkness, not the light from the surface, from anything. The pressure is relieving slowly, something is pulling me up.

Up, up, up.

Jungkook

"See, untouched," I say, hugging Yoongi's arm.

"You didn't have to leave it untouched, a few months is a long wait. What if I never came back?" He asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"It's just your keyboard, I would never touch it. You look so peaceful when you play. Like nothing matters and all that's there is the keys and you."

Yoongi lays on his side, curling up into a small ball, "Yoongles? You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired."

I nod, kissing his forehead before walking downstairs, leaving him to sleep.

Mama hums in her office, a nice soft melody I loved hearing. Without saying anything, without a sound, I sit in the doorway with my back rested on the door frame.

"Everything okay, little bun?"

"Yeah," I gasp, putting my hands over my ears as my mind becomes too much for me to handle.

I finally scream, the thoughts and memories pile and pile until I couldn't take it. Mama drops her paint and brushes, rushing to my side in fear.

Within a matter of seconds Yoongi has practically flown down the stairs and is holding me in his arms.

I sob into his shoulder for what seems like forever.

°°°

Yoongi laughs, playfully shoving me, "You can't look cute on your deathbed that's just cruel!" He smiles, pulling me close with his arm.

I roll my eyes, looking down at him, "Well you sir are very cruel."

"Where are we even going, Kooks?"

"You'll see!"

He groans, trying to hide his gummy smile.

Narrator

"Jungkook are we actually going somewhere?"

Jungkook had a place in mind, the park. Jungkook never had the opportunity to plan a date or even choose where they went before or after said date.

The two boys stop at the crosswalk, Jungkook races into the busy street, laughing as he calls for Yoongi.

"Jungkook!" Yoongi screams.