femme forte | min yoongi

12

"jihyun-ah, I want to be honest with you. me and jiae, we are dating." 

I wanted the both to wait for my shocked reaction and then, I wanted them to laugh out loud, telling that they were joking. I wanted this dinner to be something different from my thoughts, I wanted yoongi to tell me that this dinner is to prove me that there is nothing between them. 

I looked into his eyes intently, swallowing the tears that were trying to form. slowly, I curled my lips into a weak smile, "ay what kind of joke is that?" I tried to laugh, and hoped for the things I wanted to happen, but nothing. 

nothing that I wanted happen. "I'm sorry, jihyun-ah," he whispered so gently like he would always do whenever I'm mad at him. he hung his head low while looking at his glass of wine. then I looked at the woman beside him. 

"you're very beautiful, ms jiae," since the first time yoongi mentioned her name, I've always wanted to know how she looks like. I expected a beautiful girl, but I disappointed that she was way beautiful than I expected. she looked at me with guilt, while I just couldn't hold in my tears anymore. 

"I'm sorry, ms jihyun..." she mumbled, I didn't want to search for sincerity at that moment because I already felt the aching in my heart. "I didn't mean to steal your husband—" 

"I wish that you're a cruel snake," at that moment I didn't care if it was rude to cut someone's words off, "so that I can easily pull your hair and scream on top of my lungs, and slap you right on the cheeks until you regret." 

the three of us went deep silent, and yoongi didn't even try to stop me because he knew. he knew that I wasn't the kind to lay a finger on someone when I am angry. "I'm sorry," she apologised again. 

I could only snort quietly before I picked my handbag and stood up before them. "well, I probably should go—" once I stepped aside from the table, yoongi gripped my hand tightly, I didn't even know why, I wanted to laugh but I just pushed his hand away, "enjoy your dinner." 

even though it felt heavy to walk away from the mess, I thought that maybe with me leaving, yoongi would think more maturely—that I am his wife and she was just his ex girlfriend. just like in any dramas, I hoped for him to chase me and stop me in the middle of the way. 

"fuckers," I muttered under my breathe before I exhaled sharply. quickly, I walked out from the restaurant and hollered for the taxi. I looked at my extended arm, I didn't know why it looked so frail and miserable. but then I remembered something,  "fuck, I forgot my coat at the restaurant." 

right at the moment, when a taxi stopped in front of me, I accidentally allow a tear slipped from my eyes. no matter how quick I was to wipe my tears, still they kept flowing once I entered the taxi. "where to, ms?" asked the taxi driver and I told him my address. 

I bit my lower lips as I tried to stop myself, but the more I tried, the harder it was for me to stop. I gripped the hem of my dress tightly when I accidentally quivered a sob. "sir, do you—" my voice was hoarse as I spoke, so I swallowed my saliva and continued, "do you have some tissues?" 

he was looking at me with sympathy through the rear mirror, "yes I have," he replied while checking for the car behind him and then he reached out for the box of tissue on the passenger seat and handed me the box, "is everything alright, miss?" he asked worriedly. 

I wiped my eyes with the tissues and I formed a weak smile after listening to his question, "I'm fine," I told him. we were looking at each other though the rear mirror. his eyes that were so kind, they made me broke into tears again. 

he did a U-turn without hesitation and then he parked the taxi at the side of the road. "I won't charge you any money with this stop, I will wait for you if you want to go out and take some air." the way he spoke wasn't gentle and he wasn't even looking at me. "I can accompany you if you want to walk—" he paused for a moment, "I swear I'm not a bad person." 

at that moment, I didn't care if he was a bad person or not, I just wanted to scream on top of my lungs, "it's okay," I softly said, "I can walk alone, I won't be long." he nodded his head and unlocked the door for me. 

so I got out from the car slowly as if the door was heavy. I stepped on the pavement and instead of walking, I was crouching down as I burst into tears. I didn't care that people was watching me, I just couldn't hold it anymore and cried so hard. 

"why," I sobbed, "why are you so stupid?!" I cupped my mouth while I sobbed louder than I thought I could. "why??" I didn't even realise the taxi driver got out from the car until he handed me a navy trench coat. 

"it's fucking snowing and freezing," he said, "at least cry with a warm body, so you won't die like an iceberg." he helped me stand up and made me wear his coat, "I won't do anything to you and I respect your decision that you don't want me to accompany you but it hurts watching you in pain." 

he did a hand gesture, telling me to walk with him. "I'm sorry," I muttered which made me smile weakly. he walked beside me along the pavement. "thank you," I waited for him to respond, all he did was nodding and humming. "thank you," again I said. 

he took a long breath, "don't worry. I watched my mum crying every night and I hated it. one moment she was happy, the next thing she was crying because of my dad. I was the same taxi driver that took you from your house, and you were happy. about just fifteen minutes after, you walked out from the restaurant with red eyes and a frown." he looked at me and smiled. 

"I'm sorry." 

"you don't have to. shit happens. I've been driving as a taxi for three five years, I've watched people cry, fight, laugh, drunk, and so many things. you asking for apology is like you're ashamed of your life when everyone is also dealing with different shit." 

he shrugged his shoulders and sighed. he was about to continue talking but out of a sudden, we heard a few shouting from the bridge. we watched as people started to run over the shouting and because of that, we decided to follow everyone as well. 

as we reached at the bridge, there was a woman standing at the edge, outside the rail, facing the large river. "fucking—" the taxi driver was shocked as I was. the woman was ready to end her life but everyone kept trying to pull her. 

"you don't have to do it this way, ma'am!" said a few people, trying to stop her, but she was already done with herself. she shook her head while crying loudly. her hair was a mess, and she was wearing an oversized t-shirt. 

when a strong wind washed over us, that was when we realised she wore an oversized t-shirt because she has a big round bump on her stomach. "she's pregnant," I muttered, quickly I went close to her. "what do you think you're doing?!" I asked harshly. 

"GO AWAY!" she sobbed, "there's no use for me to live anymore!" she took in a sharp breath, "that bastard cheated on me!"  

***

I am so sorry for updating so late, I've been extra busy even during my semester break :") I should be legit taking a break but I have so things to finish and then on monday I have my clinical ugh i want to kill myself. 

but anyway, i hope this chapter is breaking my soul :D