femme forte | min yoongi

11

christmas eve was near yet I haven't brought it up to yoongi because he would always come home tired. even when he was awake, he would only be on his phone texting someone like a teenager in love. 

as if he didn't make any promise before, he broke it like it was just a simple matter. however, his texting behaviour wasn't just a problem that I was worried about. ever since that event at his company, I had been vomiting every morning, sometimes I felt cramp in my stomach but I wasn't on period. 

"you probably eat something bad," he simply replied after I told him my concern about my stomach. he wasn't even looking at me, no, he wasn't lying on the bed and continued to smile because he received a message. 

I stared at him for a good couple of minutes but a sigh then escaped because he wasn't even bothered. so I took a deep breath and gathered all my courage, "you know..." I softly said while getting on the bed beside him, "I've always wanted to know who you're texting with." 

his smile suddenly dropped and then he looked at me, "oh. just my colleague." he then showed me an assuring smile, as if I was a fool. I wasn't actually curious, because I actually knew. I just wanted him to be honest, like he always did. "are you going to sleep, darling?" 

"will you be busy on christmas eve?" 

my back was facing him, I didn't want to see his annoyed face because it was hurting my heart. "yes, I will be busy," he sighed gently, "I'm sorry that we can't go visit your parents, maybe after christmas." 

"but I want to see them before christmas." 

I could feel him sitting straight and then his hands firmly gripped on my shoulders, "darling, we talked about this before. I don't want you to go outside because it's dangerous for you," he rested his chin on my left shoulder, "I don't want anything bad happened to you." 

every words that came out from his mouth used to warm the inside of my vulnerable heart, but at that moment, I felt disgusted. I nodded my head with a little hum, "okay," I glanced to look at him and flashed a weak smile. "good night, sweetie." 

the first thing that I did at three in the morning, was to run to the bathroom and vomit. the timing was increased, and the cramps got worsened. I stayed crouching on the bathroom floor, wondering if my assumption was correct. 

I got out from the bathroom, and lied down on the bed. I was wide awake, worried about myself. I rarely have gastric, besides I didn't go on a diet. I didn't believe my assumption but every single puke that I had made me think it that way. 

when the morning rise, again, I went to the bathroom and vomit. I looked at myself mirror while holding my stomach, "please..." I closed my eyes as I clutched my shirt tightly, hoping that a miracle happens to bring happiness back in my marriage. "please, oh please." 

I knew I was forbidden going out from the house, but I didn't hesitate to go to the pharmacy just to buy three boxes of pregnancy tests. "I hope for a baby girl for you," the cashier said as soon she was done. 

"thank you," I didn't care gender, at that moment; it just didn't bother me. all I wanted to know was the reason why I had the same symptoms of pregnancy. I had a miscarriage and stillbirth before, having a chance of pregnancy was below expectation. 

but when I looked pregnancy test, I cupped my mouth as I tried to hold my tears. "no, no, no." I put it aside and did it again and again and yet the answer was the same. two lines appeared on the small oval-shaped indicator. 

I knelt down while still cupping my mouth, the burning in my throat felt nothing to me because I felt butterflies in my stomach as I was just happy. "oh my god," I removed my hand from my mouth and then I rubbed my stomach, "hello, baby." 

quickly I got up from the floor and reached out from my phone to call yoongi, "come on! come on! answer the damn phone!" I was jumping in excitement, I didn't want to surprise him like I did before, I just wanted to tell him right away. "yoongi..." but I was directed to his voicemail. 

I sat down on the stool with my phone on the table, my lips curled into a smile when I looked at his called ID that I put. 'pale baby' a wave of our memories suddenly washed over me which made me forget how smile again. 

but my eyes twinkled when I saw a notification from him. I hurriedly pressed for our chatroom, he apologised for not answering the call because he had a meeting. then he said to go to my favourite restaurant. I giggled as I read his last text, 'be very careful darling.'

suddenly my heart was beating fast like on that night before our first date. I went to the room and get a small box that could fit the pregnancy test but before that I took a pink strip and made a bow on it. 

then I decided to wear something different than any dress. I picked a sexy red mid-thigh dress, the dress gave exposure to my cleavage but I didn't mind the feeling of cold touch of winter. I grabbed my coat and wore it before I walked out from the house. 

"going on a date, miss?" the driver taxi asked as he looked at me through my reflection of the rear view mirror. he gave me a smile after he heard me giggling, "well good luck miss! have an advance merry christmas!" he said as soon the car stopped right in front of the restaurant. 

"thank you, sir," I said once I paid the charges. then I got out from the taxi and adjusted my dress before I entered the restaurant. I just couldn't contain my excitement about the pregnancy test, and with the christmas song played in piano, I just felt like ugh, this is it!

"oh, jihyun-ah!"

but then my smile faded when I saw him sitting nicely beside the woman he always said, beautiful. suddenly, I felt as if the winter had stopped and dark clouds were above me, ready to struck a lightening and a thunder. 

"jihyun-ah, come sit here, you silly." I forced a weak smile to both of them as I walked to the table and sat across from both of them. "I ordered your favourite already," he said, so I held his hand gently and thanked him. 

I was caught of guard when he slowly removed his hand away from me, but I shook the negative thought away, "so..." I grabbed the fork and knife as I began to eat, "what brings you here, miss jiae?" 

"actually, we um I have something to tell you." 

they exchanged looks like they were talking to each other, "oh? well, what is it?" I put down my fork and knife and then I took a sip of the wine in front of me. "is it something serious?" I was looking straight into his eyes. 

oh how I wished that he could understand that I didn't want him to tell me. 

"jiae and I, are going out together." 

I laughed a little, "what do you mean?" I tried to act like I was making a joke, "of course you are going out with jiae, and also with me too!" I wanted to act like I was dumb so he didn't have to explain any further. 

"jihyun-ah, I want to be honest with you. me and jiae, we are dating."