femme forte | min yoongi

09

I went back home with a heavy heart and bloodshot eyes alone. I didn't even change my clothes as I lied on my bed and cried myself to sleep. I didn't want to think about the situation, I was disappointed with his behaviour and I was upset that he hadn't come back home. 

the next morning when I turned around, my brows furrowed when his figure was beside me. I rolled my eyes in annoyance as I remembered his words that stung my heart, so I got out of bed and took a warm shower for about half an hour. 

while letting the warm water touched my skin, I stood there staring on the wall while thinking about last night again. I remembered the anger written on his face, he was irritated but I didn't know why—was it because I came out from the house without his permission? 

I got out from the bathroom and changed into something comfy, a green sweater and and my old joggers. I felt like wearing some trousers because I had been wearing dresses yet no one was there to look at me. suddenly I felt like I wanted to laugh at my own effort for my husband. 

but I glanced to look at him, and my smile faded. I looked at my body at the mirror, "maybe today will be different," I whispered to myself before I changed into a purple frothy dress that seemed like a thin fabric but surprisingly they were quite warm. 

a fake smile formed when I looked myself in the mirror, I buried my pain in the bottom of my heart and grew a little hope in the middle of my gut. I walked closer to the sleeping yoongi and then I pressed my lips gently against his cold cheek. 

I went straight to the kitchen and as always, I made a simple breakfast and brew some coffee for my beloved husband. I played a soft music for my background while I was drinking my tea, I looked outside the window and saw an adorable ginger kitten. 

the kitten was playing with dead flower as if it was some food. while watching the kitten, suddenly I remembered my cats that was at my parents' house. my shoulders dropped because I missed them so much. 

"darling—" I shrieked a little after hearing his voice calling for me from behind, I accidentally flinched when he suddenly embraced me into a back hug, "I'm sorry about last night," he whispered closely to my ear. 

I put down my empty cup and rested my both hands on his, I let him hugged me tighter because I had missed him so much that I felt like I wanted to cry at that moment. I remained silent while still holding my tears and then he kissed my cheek gently as he always do. 

he breathed out heavily, "I blame the alcohol," he said, "I was happy to see you last night and you looked so beautiful but I got caught up with jiae. she was wearing the dress that I gave heron the last time before we broke up, she looked so stunning." 

I gazed on the ginger kitten outside, its eyes met mine and right at that moment, I knew I couldn't hold my tears anymore. I wanted to get mad at him and shout in front of his face but I just didn't want to fight with him. 

"it's okay," I said without my voice cracked, "I was also not in the mood last night." I closed my eyes and let a tear fall from my eyes and then quickly I wiped it away with my free hand, "I shouldn't have come anyway." 

he rested his chin on top of my head, "should we go out today? president kim gave us a day off today. do you want to eat somewhere?" his voice brightened up as if nothing had happened. 

"sure." my short answer made him chuckled lowly and the he kissed the top of my head before he walked inside to take a shower. I assumed he was taking a shower, though I knew that he was still on his phone with someone. 

I took a deep breath and then I unlocked the window and opened it a little wide so that kitten could pass through. I kept looking at the back as I was worried that yoongi might see what I was doing. 

the ginger kitten was a female, "I noticed you before," I whispered to her while caressing her body. I grabbed a bowl that I always used for my oatmeal and then I poured some warm water from the kettle and then I added some tap water to make it lukewarm. 

whenever I was at the kitchen, I could hear her making a soft 'meow' like she wanted attention. I had never let her in before but at that time, I felt the need to hug and affection that I lost without myself realising. 

"I had three cats before," I said like I was talking to a human. "I loved them so much, their names are mochi, matcha and mocha. they were just stray kittens before, and I didn't regret picking the up from the street near to my house." 

what I regret was leaving them at my parents' house. 

while caressing the kitten's fur, all of a sudden, I felt like throwing up. I cupped my mouth and quickly went closer to the sink and vomit out whatever that was inside my stomach, I washed my mouth and wondered why I kept on vomiting. I even vomited earlier at the toilet.

"I told you that I don't want any animal enter this house." 

*** 

hello, I apologised for not updating this couple of days! I thought I can update while being out of country, apparently I didn't bring my laptop and I barely touch my phone due to the lack of wifi service. now I am back in my country, I have one more week before my class starts. 

I'll try to end this book before january 2019, I won't promise though but I'll try. and also, merry late christmas to my followers that celebrate christmas! I hope you guys spend your days with love ones! 

love, 
     zee.