Only Slightly Lost

Adults are Assholes

I want to write a book someday. I have had quite a few people tell me that I should. It's always been a dream of mine. To walk into a bookstore and be able to point at the shelf and say "I wrote that." Or to be able to see someone holding a book, with my name on the cover, at a coffee shop. I would love to be an author one day. When I say this to people their typical response is, "so why don't you write one?" Honestly, I don't know. I have a tendency to make excuses for myself when it comes to, well everything. I don't allow myself to reach my full potential, is it out of fear? Perhaps. If it were fear, fear of what exactly; Fear of failure? Success? I don't know. I want to write a book about the fears I have developed over the past 17 years. But people, specifically adults, always argue with me when I tell them I have fears to write about. They argue with me when I say I have anything to write about at all. I don't want to say I have an old soul, because that would be giving myself too much credit. However I will say, I have a lot to write about. Because in 17 years I have lived a lifetime of pain and fury and happiness and laughter. I feel like I have been through so much more than a 17 year old should have been through. I don't mind that so much, I think what I have been through has absolutely shaped who I am as a person. That quote by I don't know who, "grow through what you go through," is the most accurate of famous quotes that I've heard. I say this knowing Aristotle and Socrates are somewhere in the great beyond, probably frowning at me, but I digress. My problem with what I've been through, is not that I have been through it, it's that people, specifically adults, think my feelings toward what I've been through are invalid, because I am 17. Not to say that adults are assholes, but adults are assholes. I want to write a book someday, and I want to write about how adults are assholes. Even as an adult, I think I will always think adults are assholes. This is why I want to major in psychology, I want to know why adults are such assholes. I want to know why my 17 year old brain has been through so much and feels the way that it does. Not to say that brains feel anything, because I am relatively certain that they don't, but you get my point. I want to know why I, a 17 year old, thinks adults are assholes. I know why I think that, but I want to know why I think that. Does that make sense? Probably not. But hey, I get what I'm saying so I guess that's all that matters. Because no one else is reading this, it's not like this is published in a book or anything. But maybe someday it will be. Maybe someday I will write a book about fears and assholes and all the things going on in my 17 year old brain that make me feel things and think things and all the philosophical reasons why. I want to write a book someday.