Getting To Know Me (Completed)

Day Three Seminar

After dressing up, I waited for Nellie to bang on my door but she did not. I sent her a text that I had left in case she later decided to come over. 

Just outside my gate, I got a bike to the  Community school that was the venue for the seminar. 

"Yesterday, we talked about books being the building and also the destroying factor in a relationship."

She looked around for a few nods of affirmation then she continued. 

"Do you know about pride, the king called pride? "

No one replied but we were all listening. Yes, I was listening. I did not pack my capri sonne packs because I forgot but I did not miss it_yet. I did not crave to have it run down my throat slowly while shutting my eyes as I sucked in the last from it. 

"...so she waits for days for him to call and he also waits. The girl says,'if he loves me then he will Call' and the boy says, 'if I am the only one, she will call.'

"But you know the truth, if you love someone you will want to know how they are doing. You would not wait. It's not a competition of ego. It's a relationship. You make it work."

She was right there. I always reached out, Clingingly even. 

"You know why love turns to hatred? It's pride. You wait for an apology you do not get, you are too proud to keep complaining. You wait for a change that does not come, you are too proud to continue being taken for granted . There's nothing like one's ego being stepped on."

Ego?  No. I loved him without pride. We all did. We sat late at night giving him excuses whenever he returned home late. We did not judge him. We simply accepted him and overlooked his mistakes. 

"Throw more light! " someone shouted. 

"This is not an abstract class like your Chemistry. You can relate to this. Alright have you ever been ignored before, like you call, text yet no reply, how did it feel? "

The class suddenly became noisy. Everyone had experienced it. They all had things to say.

"I'll answer that. It must have felt like an insult. Like you deserved more. I'll not really give you the exact words for your feelings then but it must have pained your spirit, soul, body and your ego lay on the gravel."

Hurt was the first feeling, then anger,  hatred slowly crept in, staining the blood we shared with black. Pride did come. It made us unable to beg him for school fees or anything. It was pride that was the ultimate feeling. Pride made feelings towards him a taboo. 

I heard a car park outside and I looked out through the broken louvres. I watched wide eyed as Maka came down from the car in a corporate navy blue gown. The glass was tinted and I could not make who the driver was. She hurried into the building with her head bowed in her bag and her hands searching for something in her bag. 

I immediately knew the stupid girl misplaced her pen. 

"Relationships, friendships, marriage have collapsed due to pride and right now mosses grow on them."

I could remember a time I once loved my father - the man I now hate the most. Hate is such a strong word, let me rephrase that: I hate my father. I worshipped him in the past, I did everything right so he would approve and notice me but I was no boy so I was useless and my mother was too. 

"The sweetest time in a relationship is the beginning for a lot of people. The calls and even the excitement to pick up but after a while the calls stop coming like it used to, missed calls and excuses are now the order of the day and both partners are now workaholic busy."