Getting To Know Me (Completed)

Nellie''s birthday

I had left the window open through the night. I woke up with a cold that I even had to wear a big sweater and stockings before I went back to sleep. I hardly slept past daybreak but I could see the brightness of the day that announced its presence in the room and all I wanted to do was still sleep.

 I woke up later when my eyes were tired of being closed and my body tired of lying down. I played songs with my Bluetooth speaker while I cleaned my room. It was Saturday and the day was for cleanup - Mum and Nellie had taught me that much at least. 

The strike had been called off and school was to resume on Monday. I was only happy that I would be very busy again. As a Fine arts student, I would be spending most of my time in the studio drawing or sculpting, totally shut away from the outside. More than ever, I longed to be in the studio again.

It was noon when I finished cleaning the room, washing my clothes in between checking instagram and Pinterest. 

I lay on the bed and decided to go to Nellie's page on instagram. I had been consciously avoiding her page all morning until then.

She had posted no picture of herself as people usually did on their birthdays. She only posted a write up, "Today is not the same without you."

Facebook chose that day to show me memories from a year ago. Pictures of Nellie and I in very funny poses. I read the post she wrote on my own birthday. It was a very long emotional write up. I wrote no post on hers. I had a lot to say but I did not write it on the internet. I wrote a letter and gave it to her. 

All over again I began to remember what we were like. We were like sisters but can a sister say those things she said to me? 

What was sisterhood again? There were lots of things I did not know about her. I understand the need for most things to remain secrets and die as that but she should have shared some at revealing times when I told her I once stabbed my father's tire and allowed a boy to touch my clitoris at the back of our old neighborhood church. She could have told me her own secrets but times like that, all she did was laugh and tell me stories about stealing meat.

I turned uncomfortably to different sides of the bed. I did not want to cry anymore. It was not even my nature to cry but I cried a lot these days. 

It seems I let my thoughts cuddle me to sleep until my phone rang pulling me out. I picked the call and put it on speaker. 

"Kassy, why have you not called Chinelo? "

My mum. Nellie was communicating with her probably making me appear to be the one doing all the wrongs.

I sighed, hugging a pillow and staring at the plain white wall. 

"Kass, you should call your sister and wish her well," She continued. 

" Mum, I'll call her. I plan to see her later."

"She's worried. Hope you are good ?"

"Yes mum, " I replied, now smiling. 

" Call her, ok and be good. "

I rolled closer to the wall still clutching my pillow. I tried to shake away all the thoughts in my head but they remained. I did not care about her past really even if it had played a main role in our friendship; for three years I took the heat of being a called a lesbian. I thought it was my tomboy nature. There were lots of tomboys so I never cared but all along it was like Nellie's past  drew my portfolio.

It could have been any time within noon or evening. I did not check. I rose up from the bed, attempting to leave my thoughts on the bed and I walked into the shower. Thank goodness, the shower was still running. I peeled off my clothes and walked under the shower.