band one-shots

tears + blood || joshler

sksksksk i wrote this months ago as a vent so i might as well fuckin post it

tw for self-harm & suicide

ship: josh dun x tyler joseph

-

"Tyler, what the hell is this?" Josh picks up the object lying on the table.

What's it doing here? Why does Tyler even need a razor blade?

Tyler's gaze averts to the ground. "Nothing."

"It's not nothing." Josh's brown eyes land on Tyler's long sleeves. "Roll up your sleeves."

"No."

Josh shakes his head slightly and crosses the room to Tyler, but he's pushed away. Then Tyler takes a sharp breath and rolls up his sleeves, revealing thin red lines criss-crossing both his wrists.

Josh isn't an expert on self-harm. Hell, he's rarely even seen it. But judging by the depth of the scars and the sheer multitude of them, it's bad. Really bad.

Tyler chuckles bitterly. "What? It's what you expected isn't it? Well look at that. You guessed correctly."

"No....Tyler..." Josh's fingers close around the blade still encased in his grip. "Why?"

"Because why not?" Tyler pushes his sleeve back up and cocks his head at Josh before snatching his razor blade out of Josh's hand and leaving the room.

Josh hesitates a moment and then follows the other boy into the hallway. "Tyler?"

There's no response, only the echo of the walls around him.

He sighs in defeat.

"Tyler.....please...."

Josh sinks down against the wall, his face pressing against his shaky knees.

Minutes pass by and he hears Tyler's voice, faint and strained. "Josh....?"

Josh's head shoots straight up and he clumsily climbs to his feet. "TYLER?" He twists his body around, searching for the direction of Tyler.

Tyler's response comes, weaker than before. "I'm...in...here............help..me......"

Josh realizes that he's in the bathroom and runs to the door, gripping the knob with his sweaty palm. "Tyler....can you unlock it?"

"No.." His voice is dry and pained. "I can't....hurts.....so much..."

Josh grits his teeth. "Wh-what did you do?"

Even through the pain, there's an edge to Tyler's voice. "The fuck do you think I did? I'll give you a hint. It involves the blade you tried to fucking take away from me."

Josh's forehead slams against the wooden door, desperately. "Fuck. How bad is it? We can fix this."

"I DON'T WANT TO FIX IT." Now his voice is choked and thick with tears. "Just-" He can barely speak. "Let me die."

"No!" Josh yells. "I'll break this fucking door down." When no response comes except for a sob, he bangs his hand against the door. "Please!"

Tyler flinches at the sudden noise. "Josh..."

"Tyler....." Josh whispers, as the sound of someone falling echoes through the door. "TYLER."

Something crashes against the door.

"TYLER!" Josh is screaming now. He can't lose Tyler. Not now. His brain overflows with thoughts and he can't breathe.

Think rationally.

Okay, he might still be alive. Maybe he just passed out from the blood loss. He could still be breathing, though unconscious.

He slams his hands against the door again rapidly, while twisting the metal knob erratically.

Finally, the door creaks open, to reveal Tyler slumped against the wall. The tiles on the floor are stained with the bright blood dripping from the slits in his wrists. But Josh steps right into the blood, and leans down to hold Tyler. His body is cool and starting to turn pale but he can still detect a faint heartbeat.

"Hey Siri," Josh says, breaking the silence, "Call 911."

The sleek iPhone in his pocket lights up and dials. "Calling 911."

Josh grabs one of the towels hanging against the wall and presses it to Tyler's wrists softly. He cradles the limp boy in his lap as he waits for his phone to connect the call.

"This is 911, what is your emergency?"

Josh starts to trip over his words as they emerge from his mouth "My frie- I mean Tyler- my boyfri- no wait- he-" He exhales and gathers his thoughts into place before trying to speak again. "Someone that means a lot to me is bleeding and unconscious and I'm scared."

"Please give the location of this emergency."

Josh gives the address of the house and presses the blood-soaked towel a little harder against Tyler's skin. If only he could take all the blood spilled on the floor and somehow put it back in Tyler.

"An ambulance is on its way. In the meantime, try to stop the bleeding as best as you can."

Josh sighs as he hung up the phone. He could do this. He has to save Tyler.

The blood flow seems to be slowed down but Josh can't tell if that was a good sign or not. For all he knew, Tyler could be well on his way to heaven right now.

Josh pulls Tyler closer to him, soaking his jeans with blood in the process. He cradles the pale boy and whispers, "I'm so sorry Tyler. I'm sorry I didn't realize how much you were hurting." His voice cracks. "I should have noticed..."

As he trails off, he starts full on crying. He was going to lose Tyler. Because he was fucking oblivious. How had he looked Tyler in the eyes every night and not see the pain in them?

The truth is, he had seen it. He'd just ignored it.

He'd blamed it on Tyler being tired, on the air, on everything else. Josh didn't want to believe that he could be that hurt inside. It tore him up inside to imagine it. So he'd told himself he was just being melodramatic.

Well, he wasn't imagining it anymore.

Nothing in Josh's nightmares had been anything like what he felt now. The coolness of Tyler's skin, the dried blood covering most of the bathroom. And the excruciating guilt he felt.

When the ambulance finally arrived to take Tyler to the hospital, they found Josh, covered in tears and blood, holding a boy that had stopped breathing.

-

y'all ever make YOURSELF cry with your writing??