Opal's Story

'I'm fine'

(A/N: hey guys! Hope your enjoying! Before we get into the sad stuff imma just say we got THREE HUNDRED VIEWS AHHHHH I love you guys!!!

Okay. Now onto the serious.

This chapter, and a couple after, contain self harm, Please I am begging you not to read on if this upsets you.

And yes. I will be showing the gritty side to it. Because I want to raise as much awareness as I can. And I can't do that if it's sugarcoated with candy canes like the news show it.

Because self harm isn't like that. Take it from an expert.

Anyway with that said I hope you enjoy x)

OPALS POV

I watch Tracy walk back in, tears fill my eyes

Today is a massive setback. And I need to do it. I'm sorry. It's a release.

I take my tiny blade from my pocket and dig it into my smooth but still scarred skin, dragging it along I'm unable to stop, despite the unimaginable pain, but all I can think is that I deserve this

This was all my fault.

I check to see if anyone saw, thankfully nobody was around, before putting a plaster over my wound, and heading back inside

I wipe away the last of my tears and slap back on my it's fine I'm fine smile before turning to Tracy

'I just wanted to say that you've made me so proud today, you showed you're a fighter, incapable of letting anyone down' she says giving me a hug

Tears well in my eyes at this. I'd just let her down by cutting. But she wouldn't know about that because I'm too scared to tell anyone

There won't ever be a day where I'm ready to talk

There won't ever be a day that I stop.

It's sad, yes. But it's a release.

I'd cut so many times that I could barely tell the difference between scars caused by my so called parents, and scars from my own doing

'You okay?' Tracy says

Say no. Tell her the truth. Drop the fake smile and run into her arms.

'I'm fine, thanks' I say grinning wider than ever

'I'm glad' she says smiling back as she walks away I instantly drop the smile as tears refill my eyes

I want to talk to her about this.

But I can't.

THE NEXT DAY

I couldn't sleep, so I slept in and now everyone's mad at me

Great. Really no it's great honestly.

I get up and roughly tie my hair up before falling back into bed I don't wanna leave my room

I've never felt so empty. So sad. And so broken.

I started thinking about how everyone's lives would be better without me

And at twelve, that's not something you should think about

I grab my pencil case and take the blade out of it, ready to punish myself again for daring to stay another day and face the world as if I could handle it

When in reality I really couldn't

I place it to my skin and grit my teeth before pushing it down, it makes a slit, and blood starts pouring

My minds telling me to drag it along so I do when all of a sudden I hear a knock on my door

'WAIT!!' I scream, worriedly chucking my pencil case under my bed and tugging my sleeve down, the blood seeps through and I start to cry

I didn't ask for any of this. 

Tracy opens the door and I quickly shove my arms behind my back

'Hey' she says smiling

'Hiya' I say

'Tea's ready' She says before leaving

I breathe a sigh of relief, if she'd walked in a second sooner

I put my black jumper on and head down to tea using a hair bobble to keep the jumper sleeve down as it was too small for me

'Ahh opal how nice of you to grace us with your presence' mike says smiling

The others start laughing

'Oh shut up' I say angrily before sitting down

'I'm not hungry' I say sadly before heading back upstairs

I just wanted to stay in bed. But that wasn't because I was lazy or whatever

It was because I was too sad to get out of it

'Opal, are you okay?' Tracy says

'Today's the last day. I won't let you beat me.' I mutter angrily chucking my blade in the bin I let her in with a smile

I'll be okay. I'll make sure of it.