Love Won't Last Forever (Sequel to FWLF)

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 

The next few days were a bit of a struggle. I finally got me prescription renewed so I can get back on my medication. Because I don’t actually have a doctor here, they wanted to run tests on me to make sure what I was taking would actually decently help, I’m quite happy they did because they said they needed to higher something in the pills I was taking since I hadn’t taken them for a month. I’m only on the higher prescription ones for a week though, and then I'm back to normal. Since it’s only been 4 days since the whole incident between Jaime, Vic, Justin, and I, most of the problems are still tense in the air between Jaime and us. I know he is being more positive and I can tell he’s trying to be strong, but I know deep down that he actually did love Vic. However I’ve noticed he’s been texting a lot more and from what I gather he has been talking to Justin.

I didn’t know if my little match making would work out, I honestly thought they were going to get mad and me for trying to get them together after this whole thing, but it turns out they’re actually getting along 1000x better than I had thought. Justin and I are basically friends, he can’t help but be over protective over me, he still calls me every night and asks me how im doing, but it’s different now because instead of a boyfriend way it’s a friendship way, and that honestly makes me feel so much happier knowing we’re still friends. I’m still a bit on edge when talking to him because I feel like he’s going to blow up on me but so far it hasn’t happened.

Vic has been another story the past 4 days. It’s like he’s back to his old self. He’s constantly trying to make me happier and make sure everything is okay with me, I’ve been getting really tired of people asking me if im okay because lately all of the guys ask me at least 3 times a day. It’s nice to know they actually care but I keep giving them the same answering, telling them I’m happy. This isn’t true, but not a lie, im just okay. I know my feelings towards Vic haven’t fallen the least bit in the past few days, but I feel as if he thinks they have. I don’t want to give him false hope in saying we might get back together, because I actually don’t know if we will.

I love Vic but I don’t know if its worth the trauma, the heart break, and the risks we would both be taking. For all I know if we get back together Vic could keep something from me and break up with me again and I could fall off my trail back to recovery. Every time I look at Vic I want to tell him I love him but then I begin to think and im just back and square one, is it worth risking everything? I know Vic cant help but be helpful and try to make me stronger but hes making it harder on recovering, in fact everyone is. Its different when Justin asks me if im okay opposed to Vic does. Vic doesn’t know the things I went through, whereas Justin does. Justin is my friend, and, well, I love Vic, which just makes me want to let him help me. I want him to hold me and tell me everything will be okay in the morning and kiss me softly on the neck. I miss him. But I can’t go back to him. I need to recover on my own.

“Kellin what are you even singing?” Vic asked me. I was in such a daze thinking about the past few days that the whole morning I have been singing random words. When I got here I knew that things were going to go hectic but I never imagined it to go as far as it had. Its scary to think that I’ve already been here a week and some.

“Sorry, lets start over.” I mumbled through the mic.

 Vic and I were working on vocals and today the producer, Dan, was working with Tony. So while then, Vic and I were deciding on who sings what. He was sitting out in the room where the speakers where while I just stood in the small booth reading the lyrics. It was hard when the only thing we had was the demo beats to match the lyrics up to, also I didn’t have a musical bone in my body, all I can do is sing and decide what soungs good or bad. Vic fiddled around a bit with the knob thingys and I soon heard the intro being played into my ears. I looked at the note book and waited until I heard my cue to go.