Love Won't Last Forever (Sequel to FWLF)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 

I laid on my bed taking in my thoughts. Too much had happened to me. My soft white blankets surrounding me made me feel like I was in a shield, like outside of my blankets was a world waiting to hurt me and tear me apart, but in the warmth of my bed everything was okay. Maybe that’s why I enjoy lying in bed when you wake up, because you still have that sleep bubble around you, like you’re not fully there yet. Your mind and body is still at ease yet your eyes are awake, and nothing bad has happened yet. Even though things have happened, maybe not today but horrible, horrible things have happened. I was raped and kept it in to myself. The amount of stress I put on myself to keep that in would have killed me. I lied to Vic about so much that I don’t think I could look at him the same, hell I know he won’t be able to look at me.

Then again, who would want to look at me? I’m a bruised and scarred human being with so many problems I don’t even want to look at myself. I feel in-human, like my life wasn’t meant to happen like this, and I wasn’t supposed to be lying here in bed at 11:30am listening to Vic talk in the room next door while I lay here trying not to cry. I wish I had something to block what he was saying, but I could hear it word for word what he was saying. I hated it.

“I can’t believe this fucking happened” Vic said for the umpteenth time. “I wasn’t there for him”

My eyes shut, attempting to stop the tears from flowing. Vic did nothing, but yet all along I knew he would blame himself if he found out, hence another reason I didn’t want him knowing anything about it. The only person who had come in to see if I was awake was Justin; he stood by the door for 5 minutes while I stared at him not saying a word. He probably feels guilty for telling them since I had told him strictly I didn’t want anyone knowing. Vic probably feels betrayed because Justin knew instead of him. I feel pathetic cause it’s nearly noon and don’t have the strength to get out of bed and talk to anyone.

“This is so stupid we need to tell the police” Vic’s voice echoed through the walls once again. I know he’s not going to tell the police, mostly because that’s the 14th time he’s said that this morning and every time he suggests that, Justin reply’s-

“Vic he doesn’t want to so what’s the use? He won’t confess and we have nothing on the guy” Ah, there was Justin. Just like expected. Usually after that Vic gets mad and goes off on another rant but he changed it up, I was a bit surprised. 

“Is he awake yet?” That’s the first time he’s asked that. I know he came in earlier and I pretended to be asleep, but Justin has been coming in every hour or so, thus creating our 5 minute staring contest of silence each time.

No one responded to him, and then I heard the thump of walking coming towards the room. I sighed to myself. I felt guilty for what happened, it was my fault after all, going there alone. It was also my fault for making Vic think our relationship was in danger, but technically it was, that was my fault. The door swung open and there stood Vic surrounded by Jaime, Mike, Tony, and Justin. I stared at them, not saying a word. What would I say? Mike accused me for cheating on Vic when I was really raped. I feel guilty for ever making Vic doubt me and guilty for being so stupid. My eyes shut tightly as tears started to spring, I wasn’t going to let myself cry about this, it happened a week and a half ago; I need to start focusing on the future. My eyes opened only to see that Vic was now kneeing in front of me, door closed, everyone else gone.

“Hey” he said, his breath smelt of coffee, but not bad. He had circles under his eyes telling me that he was tired. His hair was a tangled mess, I could tell he tried to fix it but couldn’t so he put on his red beanie. None of his clothing matched. It was kind of awful really, I found myself smiling.