Overboard

Chapter 5: this is me

We get inside the cabin and close the door shut. We sit down on our beds. Her bed is right next to mine. We sit facing each other breathing heavily from running.

Lezi:Woah that was intense. What the hell was that!??

I look down at my shoes, remembering everyones face especially Justin's, his was confused and understanding. I start to get a headache, so I put my hand over my forehead. I look at Lezi and start to explain everything. I don't know why, but Lezi seems like the type that you could trust. I honestly think it could be her perkiness

Gracie:okay Lezi, I never ever told anybody this, only my mom knows and I didn't even tell her. I feel like I can trust you with anything. I punched Chaz because of you. I never really had a friend like you, really just a friend in general. I punched him because he called you a slut and that wasn't fair to you, I didn't know what else to do, plus he's always rooted down anyone I'm friends with, or try to be friends with. Like I said, I've slept with him and this isn't the first time he's been like this to me so I don't mind him calling me a slut. It's just a want a friend that won't leave me because of the treatment I get, I mean I don't blame them, but its just I want a friend that'll always be there. And I have abandonment issues.

Lezi:I am your friend Gracie and I honestly could care less about what Chaz said. I don't even know what he said honestly.

I scoff then smile while she keeps alert and asks

Lezi:why do you have abandonment issues though?

Gracie:well, my dad wasn't really around that much because he was "working", but one day I got home early and I was the only one home. I go to my room upstairs. I pass by my parents room and hear really weird noises. I enter the room and find my dad naked in the bed with another guy. My mom found out, I didn't tell anything to anybody, except for Chelsea, my twin sister. It turns out though that she knew all along and was on my dad's side.

I start to get rage all over my body. My voice starts to get shaky and I start to cry tears of shame from myself

Gracie:When we went to court to find out who gets custody of who, she had the decision to go with either my mom and I or the dad and his soon to be husband. And she went with dad. I never saw her again after that.

I burst out crying, stand up and yell

Gracie: SHE WAS MY ONLY BEST FRIEND, WE LOVED EACH OTHER, WE SHARED EVERYTHING! WE'RE SISTERS HOW COULD SHE DO THIS?! HOW COULD SHE LEAVE ME ALONE?!!

Lezi becomes calm and tries to calm me. It's too late, I'm already throwing stuff across the room and shatter a glass vase. I stand still and my eyes stay on the glass. I grab a piece of sharp narrow glass and pull up my sleeve fiercely, while I cry hard. I scream from the pain while saying

Gracie:YOU SEE CHELSEA?! THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO ME! YOU TOO KYLE WHY'D YOU LEAVE ME. DAD WHY'D YOU LEAVE! YOU ALL LEFT ME ALONE! WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE YOU GUYS GO AWAY FOR GOOD?! PLEASE TELL ME WHY?! I'D LOVE TO HEAR THE BULLSHIT THAT YOU CALL TRUTH!

Lezi suddenly gains conscious from the horror she's seen. She comes up to me while I cry and scream. She comes to me and hugs me from behind. I drop the glass from my hand and it breaks into small pieces. She puts her hands on my arms on my slits. I turn to face her and rest my, red crying face on her shoulder. We sit down on my bed while I cry more and grip hard on her shirt from the disappointment I feel from myself. She brushes my hair with her fingers while she softly shushes my crying. She rocks back and forth while I say softly still crying

Gracie:I ha-a-ve to feel pain, Lezi. They can come back to see if I'm hurt. They'll come back, they have to. I need to punish myself for being such a disappointment to them, I'm not good enough for them. Lezi. Pain is the only way to know I have feelings, to let them know I have feelings.

Lezi is calm, but I tell she's holding back the sadness. All she does though, is just keep rocking back and forth while shushing me and brushes her hand through my hair. I slowly stop crying and drift to sleep from how tired I am from crying. Before I fall asleep there's a knock on the door, but its too late I'm already asleep.