Overboard

Chapter 15:learning more

I hear my phone vibrate, but ignore it from the awestruck seeing the bracelet. I stay there wondering if this was a trick or if he's actually had this on forever. Either way I'm there staring at Chaz's bracelet.

Gracie:My name's not Grisila.

He drops his leg next to me then puts his elbows on his knees. He keeps his serious face. He says soft and calm

Chaz:that's always gonna be your name, Kyle picked it....

I shut my eyes and remember the last time I heard Kyle's name, which was when I had a fatal breakdown in front of Lezi.

Gracie:Chaz, I get that we were friends, I get that you knew Kyle, but stop this has nothing to do with Kyle.

It's not that I don't think of Kyle, I think about him all the time. Kyle was a family friend, we were best friends that grew to love each other a lot. He was six years older than me and with caramel skin. I grew up with him, Ryan, and Chaz. When I was around eight, I found that I loved this kid and he loved me back more than ever. We did the craziest things together, he taught me so much and meant so much, still means so much to me. He never made a move even though he wanted to, he respected me too much. Unless I made a move, he wouldn't even kiss my hand. He died in his sleep when he was twenty, which was last year. He had heart failure.

Chaz:Gracie, it's the truth. He was the reason for you, for who you are today. I know you fucked around with people because of him going away. That's why I sleep with you more than once, if you're gong to sleep with people, just let it be with one person, me. Rather than other assholes who take advantage of you. You wouldn't stop when I told you, so that was the only thing I could do. I see something has grown on you and you're stopping things, I don't know about sleeping around, but I know you've stopped being mean and hidden. Something's changing. For us it seems though that something always changes.

Gracie:maybe changing is for the best. But what you just said doesn't explain why you're being mean to me and telling me what to do.

Chaz:yeah, I care about you. Even though a lot has made us not friends anymore. I still care. You didn't listen to me when I told you to stop that people care, that I gave a shit and stuck around when Ryan was long gone after Justin came along. I kept the bracelet that we made nine summers ago with Kyle. Ryan left while it was just you, me, and Kyle. I was there grieving with you when you found Kyle on the couch, pale and lifeless. You called me and I rushed over and held you while you cried telling me about him as they took him....

I feel something wet on my face and realize they were tears, I was crying this whole time, I remembered every detail of that day and how Ryan left and how my life kept falling apart but Chaz kept me up, until he let me fall and made my life fall fast. I couldn't take it. I say softly

Gracie:stop please, stop.

I sob, putting my hand over my mouth. I shut my eyes and sit there remembering Kyle and how much I loved him, but just realized how much I did. I should've taken the chances. I remember the times after Chaz and I had sex. He would hold me and I'd let him. I'd always sleep and I'd wake up in my room tucked in with pjs on. When I see him the next day he'd treat me as if I had throw up all over me and was fucking contagious. But yet he's never left.

I stop most of the sobbing and talk

Gracie:thanks, for not leaving. I don't know why but thanks.

I open my eyes and feel my lip quiver.

Chaz:that means a lot. You don't have to talk, just be calm. Remember how Kyle gave you your name. Or just any good time.

I shut my eyes again and think about the day before Kyle passed. In the day we went to a family friend reunion and Ryan was there. We all caught up and were like how we used to be. Around sunset Kyle and I went to this fair that was year round that it was like a mini amusement park. We went on rollercoasters. He won me a yellow orange. Yes a yellow orange, the fruit but yellow. He told me how much he loved me and how if he died I have to be strong about it. Once he died that night I always thought he jinxed it. That same day he gave me his mom's engagement ring, not as a promise or anything. He told me it was because of how special I am. We planned of how we should run away to Australia the next day and live in the beautiful coral reefs we only saw in pictures and have aquatic marine babies. He made me so happy that I didn't see bad in anything. When I saw him the next day, I wasn't shocked because I knew it was going to happen I always wish I could've gave him more. He always thought I gave him more than enough though. He was so thoughtful. That's why I cried. I cried because I wanted to give him more than what I gave him. Why did he have to go? Why not me? I miss him but I know he's here. I know he is. I start to smile thinking of all the good and open my eyes. The tears start to fade little by little. Only Kyle would risk everything to win you a yellow orange stuffed toy.