Me being a crackhead for a long period of time
bts_lovebot *sends me this video*
Me: thats me
Me: WHy is there a video of me on the internet im-
Her: U like to stand outside and water your grass?
Me: ..... yes....
Me: I TOTALLY DON'T LET THE RAIN WATER MY GRASS FOR ME
Me:
Me: someone stopped by one time and said I looked like a grandma
Me: aND I was like bITCH THE FUCK I DO-
Me: And then they chased me down the street holding a plastic bat
Me: I tripped and fell of course
Her: I love your mind
Me: Why thank you.
Her: Where do you even come up with stuff like this?
Me: Umm..
Me: You don't wanna know, it's very dirty in there
her: Bruh saaame
Me: I haven't dusted or swept it since 5th grade which is kinda unsanitary
Me: Just saying, if you ever explore my mind you might sneeze and die......
Me: Idk why you'll die, I think you'll just be scarred from the amount of things that caused there to be dust-
Her: I would sneeze like Tae and probably kill u in the process
Me: sOunds like a personal problem
Her: chOke
Me: wOAh there
Her: What?
Me: Choking is for people who can't swallow
Me: And this is why there is so much dust in my mind
Me: Very very dirty if you know what I'm saying
Her: Boi I don't know if u went in that way but I understand that way
Me: wOAH THERE-
Me: IM JUST SAYING AS A BABY I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO SWALLOW THAT'S WHY I WOULD ALWAYS CHOKE AND BASICALLY BREAST FED UNTIL I WAS 1
Her: Oh my-
Me: It uh... wasn't a very fun story to hear when you turned 12.
Me: Look I thought I wAS A BIG GIRL AND GAVE UP BREASTFEEDING AT 9 MONTHS BUT NOOOOOOO~~ OF COURSE MY SLOW ASS HAD TO BE LIKE "yeah you're dumb so you can't comprehend how to swallow" and that's how Taylor ended up being gay her whole life
Me: Get it..... I'm gay because I can't swallow........
Her: bRUH *wheeze*
Her: But even when you're gay you kinda swallow so...
Her: not as much but-
Me: nEVERMIND IM FUCKING AESEXUAL GUYS-
Her: you're welcome
Me: THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME REALIZE THIS
Me: Because I really don't wanna die from choking
Her: well tbh.... Lesbian subs swallow the least
Her: For the most part
Me: But they still swallow
Me: Which is why I'm not changing my sexuality
Her: Bruh you swallow your own spit every day though
Me: wAIT HOW AM I LIVING?!
Me: Wait nvm, the spit glides down my throat, I don't swallow it.
Her: Food?
Me:
Me: I starve myself..?
Her: Bruhn if spit glides down your throat then why can't the 'other stuff' do the same?
Me: OK THE OTHER THINGS ARE MUCH THICKER THAN SPIT
Her: Mmmmm not always if it's from a girl
Me: It's still thick-
I can't-
YOU ARE READING
❞阿谢尔's lifestyle❞
Randomᴺᵒ, ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ʸᵒᵘ. ᵀʰᵉ qᵘᵉˢᵗⁱᵒⁿ ⁱˢⁿ'ᵗ "ᵂʰᵒ'ˢ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ˡᵉᵗ ᵐᵉ" ⁱᵗ'ˢ "ᵂʰᵒ ⁱˢ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ˢᵗᵒᵖ ᵐᵉ?" ꒱My friends ꒱Photography ꒱Aesthetics ꒱Memes ꒱Me...? ꒱And some bullshit
