(DISCONTINUED) I Remember When I Lost My Mind {*~Thomas Jeff. x Reader~*} Modern

Mama

~*Flasback brought to you by....France*~

Thomas' POV

Two days before the fire...

I watched my siblings play. My gaze shifts down to the toy dragon I had in my hand, my brother had given it to me. He wanted me to play him. And play, we did. We played for a good couple of hours.

Once we were done, it was near bedtime. And so I sent him upstairs with the rest of my siblings and made sure they brushed their teeth and were put to bed. It was my bedtime too, but I wasn't tired. So I went to find Mama.

I wandered the empty halls of our house for a bit until finding Mama in her room. I smile, but my smile fades as I see her in a ball on the floor, sobbing. I quickly rushed over to my mother only for her to push me away and into the closet quickly. "Shh! Stay completely still." She managed to say with a shaky voice. She closed the closet door and I hear two muffled voices. I'm assuming it's Mama's and maybe Papa's? I hear a harsh whack and the door slam.

When the door opens once again, I see Mama with a bright red handprint on her cheek. My brows furrowed and I just barely noticed she had a blanket around her. I titled my head and she hid me again when an unfamiliar voice sounded through the room. Mama tells me not to look, but I do anyway. I peeked through a tiny crack in the door and see a man I've never met before.

"See you next week, slut." He snarked, and left. 'Slut'. The word is imprinted on my mind. What does it mean? I looked at my mother. What is a a slur, is she a slut? Is a slut good? "Mama?" I called out meekly. She opened the door and I notice she is nude under the blanket she has wrapped around her. She wipes her cheeks to rid of tears and smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that Thomas." Mama mumbled. I shake my head, about to speak up until she cuts me off. "It's past your bedtime. You should be in bed.." she stated and stood up on shaky legs. "Mama, what's a slut?" I asked quizzically, taking notice of how her whole form seemed to tense at my words. What did I do? Did I do something wrong?

"N-Nothing..."

"Are you a slut?"

Her voice breaks when she answers with, "No voluntarily." That's all she says. She got dressed and grabbed my hand before leading me out of her and Papa's room. I looked up at Mama, "Where's Papa?" I asked. "I don't know." She said solemnly as we walk to my room. She didn't even look at me. "Oh." I mumbled and look at my feet.

When we get to my bed and she's tucking me in. She speaks up and sighed shakily. "I love you Thomas. I love you and your brothers and sister more than anything. Don't ever forget it. I don't act like it sometimes but I do. I promise I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens."

~*Flashback over*~

"'Ipromise I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens.'" I said and fiddled with my hands. I'd didn't bother to make eye-contact with Y/N. "That was the last time I heard her voice." I murmur, choking back a sob. I bit my lip and wiped my tears that escaped as I sniffed.

Y/N nodded silently as she listened to my past. She continued mending my wounds as best she could and I would occasionally hiss in pain. I didn't like it, I don't want to be here anymore. That guard had the right idea. It seems like that's the only escape here. I found the voices in my head talking with each other once more and rolled my eyes, though I couldn't help but to talk back. Mentally, of course, I don't want Y/N thinking I'm crazier than I am.

Y/N helped me over to the bed in my cell. Honestly, it feels like it's just wood painted to look like a mattress. She laid me down and I noticed her hand inch toward mine. She grasped it and gave a small squeeze. "You rest up Thomas. I'm sorry that you're used to abuse by now. That's not right and it certainly isn't normal." She explained.

She talks some more but I'm not paying attention. I found myself zoning out. It's not normal? It's all I've ever known. Normal is the habit of doing something everyday, a routine. That is the definition of normal. Abuse is all I've ever known. How could it not be normal? Doesn't it happen in all families.

Y/N finished with talking. She gave my hand another squeeze and told me to get some rest before she left without another word.