Requiem [COMPLETED]

Lost and Found, Part 1

Chuck appeared two weeks after—after the surreal punishment. I didn't know why he was there; he seemed to hang back, trying to hide around outbuildings to lurk while scoping out who was home. He finally made it to the house and looked in at the door. I let him in.

"He's not here, what are you doing?"

He didn't answer my question. "Did your grandpa do that?"

I didn't pretend to not understand. I just shrugged. The bruises were yellowing enough that they could be covered by makeup, but apparently not as well as I had thought. Chuck enveloped me in a bear hug; I was surprised by how good it felt. I realized I couldn't remember the last time I'd been hugged.

"I'm sorry," was all he said. We stood there for minutes, Chuck just holding me. I wanted to sink into the warmth of his body, be entirely enveloped in the safeness of someone other than myself. His arms seemed bigger than I remembered, warm and heavy around me. He seemed taller, too. I realized that I was shaking, nervously excited by the affection that was so rarely received. Grandpa hated to be touched.

"Hey," he said, rubbing my back. We stood like that until my unintentional shivering subsided. I loved the feeling of his hand cupping the back of my head as if I were a small child, as if he were supporting my heavy thoughts. "You need to come see Sven," he said. "We've been worrying about you."

"I can't," I replied. Can't or won't? I know I'd get in trouble, but that's not what's stopping me.

"I know," he said, glancing out the window to look down the driveway. "Look, I know he's probably forbidden you, but Sven really wants you to come."

I processed belatedly that he was referring to Sven as if he were sentient. I responded guilelessly, "How do you know?"

"Because he's said so. He sent me to come talk to you."

After a moment, I replied, "Who?"

"What has your grandpa told you?"

"Nothing." I didn't know if it could be true... Sven asking for me? "He said he's going to unplug him in a month—that was three weeks ago—since he's not any better." I bit my lip. "Actually, he'd said he was going to say goodbye to him, were his exact words. That I should prepare to never see him again."

Chuck just swore for a minute, hands clenched, digging into my back inadvertently. He stopped himself and went back to trying to soothe me, rubbing my back. I leaned into him and soaked up the physical comfort. "Sven's awake and talking and walking. He's not a vegetable. The hospital's discharging him in a few days; they say he's recovered enough to stay in a group home and have a PT come daily to help him continue to recover." He added when I was still silent, "I've visited him every weekend since he woke up, I'm not lying to you. Look, you need to come."

"How am I suppose to believe you? You haven't even spoken to me since... for 2 months, and I just got caught for lying about where I was going. He's not going to give me the chance to go anywhere for awhile," I strangled out.

"Sven told me not to! He said me hanging around would piss your grandpa off and make him even more paranoid; I was just supposed to keep an eye on you, make sure you were okay... and then you disappeared from school. It doesn't matter. It's okay," he said, hugging me again. "Look, you still have church youth group on Wednesdays, right?"

"No, I'm grounded."

"Shit. How much longer are you out of school?"

"Just for two more weeks, four total. Originally it was three."

"I don't wonder why; shit. It's like he can sense it when we're planning anything." Chuck was rubbing his chin thinking. He actually had stubble; in the last few months he'd changed so much, shooting up inches and growing up in other ways it seemed too. I hadn't noticed from afar. It made me wonder what else had been going on that I was oblivious to. "Will he still go to church while you're grounded?"