Requiem [COMPLETED]

Time for a bit of improvisation

"You always say you won't get jealous," Seamus snapped, "but then the moment I talk to any girl, even my best friends' sisters, you're whisper-screaming at me 'who's this fucking whore?'!"

Seamus was having an argument with his current girl in his house as we sat in the tiny living room, drinking beers and pretending to be deaf. Luckily his cousins weren't around to deal with the battle. John hated this one, probably since she was mean regarding his sisters' morality—which honestly I'd hate a bitch too, if she ever said shit about my sister—and he was having a hard time staying out of it. I put a hand on his clenched fist and squeezed it gently, keeping it there as he closed his eyes and took deep breaths.

I leaned over to whisper, "Just wait for it. She's pushed too far. I bet you in three minutes or less he'll dump her." John's eyes opened and his side-eyed me, considering. "Bet me a fiver?"

"You're on." We shook hands.

It ended up being an entire beer later. We didn't realize neither of us had kept track of the time, but admittedly it had to have been longer than 3 minutes so I graciously paid up without protest. Seamus joined us finally, after she'd slammed her way out of the house using every door including the hall closet to emphasize her anger.

"Beyond excited to announce that I'm giving up! No dating for this guy, not anymore. I'm so grateful for this opportunity to restrict myself exclusively to one-night stands and can't wait to see where this decision takes me. Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I will start as I mean to go on: I plan on being as useless as the G in lasagna." He'd disappeared into his room, coming back with a large bottle of scotch. "Dear liver, it's going to be a rough ride till the end of the year. Stay strong my precious champion, stay strong," he mumbled, rubbing his beer belly.

John eyed him, probably thinking the same thing as me. "I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I will fully admit I was wrong. It's bouts of nothing much of interest followed by periods of multiple crises, concurrently, all the time, forever." Okay, so not at all what I was thinking. I was trying to estimate how many nights in a row Seamus would be getting black out drunk and trying to remember his schedule, so that Sig and I could cover for him if necessary.

"Adulthood in general is bullshit."

"Life is bullshit," I corrected him.

"Aww, our dark little bundle of thunderstorm," Seamus fake-cooed.

"Why did adults lie to us all those years about how great it is, making it sound like there's an obvious path, a life plan that's a matter of course."

"The same reason they shamed us telling us that we should be delighted to be kids, what a wonderful 'golden time' it is. They're full of shit and in denial about how shitty reality is, because faced with it a lot more people would probably kill themselves."

John guffawed, "Hey kids, I know you're struggling right now, but I'm here to tell you everything gets worse forever. Seriously, why don't you do a kids' show? You could be the next Barney. Just one that smokes. And drinks. And teaches kids about nihilism."

"Johnjamen, I'm gettin' real tired of wearing pants and having responsibilities and I'm barely legal to drink. Now is not the time to add on the raising consciousness of an entire generation of children watching public television. I like only being responsible for myself; I can usually manage to still blame most of my problems on my parents. I'm not ready for an actual career."

Doing nothing is hard; you never know when you're done.

It's not a Sunday unless you squander the whole day doing nothing and then feel sad at 8pm that tomorrow's Monday.