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Heartbeat

I held her hand screaming until the doctor came in I couldn’t lose her, if I lost her I lost everything.

Me: Will someone get in here?!

I felt my heartbeat quicken, a nurse came in pushing me out of the way. I felt so helpless watching the love of my life suffer and fade away.

Me: What’s going on?!

Another nurse ran in they rolled her bed out as I ran alongside; they put her in the EMT. I could hear Sonia’s heartbeat slow. They picked her up from one bed to another.

Me: Where is the bloody doctor?!

The nurse pushed me back: Sir you’re going to have to step back!

I flicked her hands off me: They hell I have to! That is my wife; get the fuck out of my way!

I pushed through her and stood next to the bed. Sonia’s flickered open every couple of seconds, sweat dripped off her forehead. I got on my knees, I couldn’t be strong without her; she made me the man I was, she made me strong.

The doctor ran in as fast as he could!

Me: It’s about time! Can you tell me what’s happening?!

Doctor: She is going into shock… Well, your kids are.

I stood there frozen, I felt dizzy, shaky, and hopeless all in one.

Doctor: Pull yourself together! We can do one of two things, give her adrenaline to help her deliver, or do a C-Section.

I stood there still frozen. The doctor patted my face. I snapped back.

Me: What will she most likely survive?

Doctor: C-Section… But the kids will have a less chance than her…

I put my hands to my face; I wasn’t going to break my promise to Sonia, not now, not ever.

I whispered:  Adren…

Doctor: Adrenaline?

I nodded. They doctor put two shots in her spine. I saw her eyes flicker open; I ran over to her and grabbed her hand.

Me: Baby… I’m here… It’s time to push.

She could barely function. It killed me to see her like that, they had her legs propped up and cords and wires were connected to her; she looked like a science experiment it sickened me.

Doctor: Okay Sonia! Push!

She shrieked holding my hand.

Me: Breathe baby… Breathe, it’ll all be okay.

I breathed in and out with her.

Doctor: Push!!

She shrieked again pushing with every fiber of strength she had. Then I heard it, I heard the sweet cry. Sonia and I both smiled at each other laughing, and then we turned to our baby. Our little fragile creature we created. The doctor handed the baby to me.

Me: It’s Darcy.

I looked at Sonia; she had tears of happiness in her eyes. She kissed Darcy’s head. I handed her to the nurse so they could take care of her. I walked back over and held her hand again.

Doctor: Okay! One baby down one to go! Push!

Sonia’s grip on my hand tightened and she pushed with all her might. We went through the same breathing routine again.

Doctor: I see the head! Okay two more big pushes Sonia! You’re doing great!

Sonia shrieked again and pushed with everything she had, then again! I heard it again the sound of my son; the sound of pure life.

Sonia: Benjamin…

She leaned back on the bed and relaxed, the doctor handed me Benjamin and sewed Sonia up. I held Benjamin rocking back and forth with him in my hands.  Sonia just smiled at us.

I heard the babies screams, it was amazing; I Harry Styles am a father. There was something missing…

*Beep…. Beep… Beeeeep…………….*

I looked up and Sonia was still staring at us, she was gone...