Just a Fan. ♥

A Time for Life.... and A Time for Death

Doctor: Clear!

The shocked her, Sonia’s body convulsed. They did it over and over and over again.

Doctor: She isn’t responding we need to amp it up!

Nurse: You need to get out!

Me: What’s happening?

I looked over at the other nurse and they had cords and tubes around one of my kids.

Me: Where are they taking my kids?!

Nurse: Sir you need to leave!

Me: Not till you tell me what’s going on! That is my bloody wife and kids!

The nurse was still shoving me out the door, but before closing them she finally told me.

Nurse: I’m sorry… One of your kids has stopped breathing…

She shut the door, leaving me there with no questions answered. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe. I felt someone touch my back, I turned and my mum was standing right there. The look in her eyes said it all, she knew what happened.  I felt my body go weak again, my mum pulled me in hugging me tightly, and I felt tears escape my eyes.

Mum: I’m sorry baby… I’m so sorry.

I heard her choke up and felt her tears hit my neck. I couldn’t hold back anymore, I started crying hysterically. I felt dizzy, faint, and angry all at the same time. I kept crying till I couldn’t anymore, my mouth and eyes were dry. My mum guided me over to the seats in the lobby. I sat there with my hands over my face.

When I managed to look up I saw my mum and dad in law sitting there with the same dark circled, red, puffy eyes. They looked over at me I saw the same pain and fear in their faces that was in mine too.

I sat there with my hands holding my face playing back all the moments I wasted away when I should have been with Sonia. The precious moments I had and just threw away all because of a stupid band.

I felt my eyes get hotter and the tears starting to form.

The moments I did have with Sonia meant everything to me; from the moment I saw her till her last few moments in the emergency room. I wouldn’t take our love back for anything. She was the only woman that loved me for me. Not Harry Styles from One Direction, but Harry Styles a geek from Holmes Chapel.

I sat there feeling hopeless; I was going to lose my wife and my child… I got up and started pacing… What was I going to do if I lost them both…?

I replayed the moment we met, her cute cheeky smile she had on her face when she saw me. The way she kept fixing her hair and looking me in the eyes every chance she got. How her face always got bright red when I would tell her she was beautiful. Every little thing she did made me fall in love with her and she didn’t even know it. Even the way she would cuddle up to me in the middle of the night; but my absolute favorite thing she did was the way she looked at me. It was the same “I love you with all my heart” look she gave me when we first met.

I sat there in the hospital with a grin on my face; Sonia made me fall more and more in love with her each day. I wasn’t ready to let that go. I looked up and the doctor was standing at the desk writing things down, he ran over to the room where my Benjamin and Darcy were.

I walked to the front desk with a heavy heart; I wasn’t prepared for what I was going to hear. I cleared my throat.

Me: Excuse me Miss?

She was typing quickly and looked up; she had sadness in her eyes. I couldn’t bear to hear it… I walked back and sat down. I couldn’t take this anymore, I fell back on the chair and went in the same position and started to sob again. I couldn’t let her go... I couldn’t let my children go either.

A couple of minutes later the same doctor came out, he was covered in blood. He wiped away the sweat from his forehead when he walked toward us.

We all stood up, Sonia’s parents were holding hands as my mum held my arm.

The doctor took off his mask, and his gloves. He looked down at the ground and back up; he took a deep breath.

Doctor: I’m sorry…

I fell to the ground.