invisible ➳ hemmings au

letter thirteen

dedicated to my bff 5SOSstan bc she'll probs kill me & spam my dms & imsgs after reading this chapter pls re-post ur stories u bitch xo enjoy

fyi, this was the last chapter but there will be an epilogue coming up and i will post it soon.

probs won't edit this bc im too lazy

august 15th 2014

dear luke,

i'm sorry. i'm so sorry- for everything. i really am. i love you.

i hope you don't hate me for doing this. i can't stand you hating me. i don't care if everyone else hates me but, i can't stand it when you're mad at me.

even though, im positive that you hate me, i actually don't think it's even called hate anymore. i know that you probably want to chop my boobs off. did you laugh? i wrote that to make you laugh. i'm sorry for not being the funniest.

you're probably like what the fuck does this bitch want? but, please, do read.

you deserve the truth luke.

nothing else but the truth.

when people say alex and i hooked up, fifty percent of it was true and fifty wasn't.

i really don't know how to say it.

when we hooked up, it wasn't consensual. i never agreed to any of it. so yes, we did do things but, i didnt say yes. he threatened me. he said he would hurt the ones that i loved. i couldn't let him do that, luke. i couldn't let him hurt my mom, ellie, and you.

my life sounds like a fucking drama.

i know you've beaten up your fair share of guys, anyone who would hurt me or the boys but you wouldn't be able to imagine the things alex could do. the sinister things he does makes him like a devil living on earth.

he didn't even need me. he had loads of other girls out there toy with. girls that were so much better than me and girls who actually wanted it.

he would come over and threaten me and we went to cheap disgusting motels where he and i would- you know. if i tried to resist, he would hit me. that explains the bruises you used to see until i started wearing sweaters and jeans all the time.

he wanted me because, i was the only girl he couldn't get. he wanted me because i belonged to someone who loved me so much and he hates love. that's why he wants to break everyone up. he lives for those kinds of drama. he has ruined relationships by tricking girls whose boyfriends don't pay attention to them or value them as much as you did with me.

why would i cheat on you, luke? you're the one person who i loved the most. i had you. i was fine.

that's why i stopped being so affectionate with you. i felt dirty. i felt so unpure.

i prayed to gods that i didn't believe in during that party. i prayed that someone would walk in, see me crying and help me. i guess i didn't pray hard enough to those gods for someone who didn't know me because you were the one who opened that door.

and the look on your face when you saw him on top of me was unimaginable. i felt so horrible. sometimes i wished, i should've told you instead. maybe we could have gone to the cops. you looked like your entire world just fell apart when you walked in the room. the first thing you did was call me a whore and kept on repeating, 'fucking slut'. you punched him until everyone in the party was standing by the doorway and the boys had to break you and alex up because you two were punching each other like it was a death match. i was half-naked and everyone was whispering and giving me dirty looks because you were faithful and i wasn't.