Small Pieces of Happiness ― Kim Junmyeon

9 | If That's What You Need

12:39 am and Hikari's in bed, staring at her ceiling. She had her phone replaying the same sad song over and over again for the past hour. She felt so lifeless, so out of it. It just...

She hasn't felt like this in a long while (if you take 2 weeks as long enough). She felt like she was getting better, having better grip onto her emotions. But it turns out to just be her imagination.

She lingered her hand over her phone for some time before grabbing it. A few taps and she placed her phone next to her head.

"Are you up doing your homework?" Junmyeon asked with a chuckle the moment he answered.

However, Hikari didn't reply and just stayed silent. 

"Don't come out until I'm there okay?"

—

Junmyeon leaned against his dad's car as he waited in front of Hikari's gate. The moment he heard the gate creak open, he looked up.

Hikari's eyes lost her glow. He could saw the tiredness in her gaze.

Hikari stood still. She stared at Junmyeon. The silence between them lasted about a minute before she dug her fingernails into her palms and started to tear up.

One,

two,

three,

four,

five.

Five steps it took Junmyeon to pull Hikari into his embrace and let her tears stain his sweater.

He couldn't help but feel just as sad.

"You don't have to say anything. I know what you're feeling," Junmyeon spoke.

"You told me before and I will never forget," he continued, caressing her shoulder.

"Just one..." Hikari said in between sobs.

"I know... You've been alone for too long. You held it in by yourself for too long," Junmyeon lets out a deep breath.

"I sorry I'm late," Junmyeon apologised as he hugged Hikari tightly.

As Hikari continued to break down in his arms, he was reminded the time she opened up to him.

—

"I get emotional easily. So I guess that's why I could easily feel so sad, so lonely at night," Hikari said, forcing herself to smile.

"It sounds pathetic, I'll just save you the trouble of listening to my problems," Hikari chuckles as she looked at Junmyeon.

Junmyeon placed his hand over hers, "I can see it from your eyes, from your body language. You're not okay and it always takes a toll on you..."

Hikari lets out a sigh, her eyes turned drowsy.

"I just needed one...."

"Just one person to be the support system I needed. I'm too weak to support myself. It's always so hard to try to not call out for help."

"I hate to always go through this... To cry myself to bed as much as the next couple would say I love you to each other."

"Like all I wanted to hear is 'I know you're not alright'... All I wanted to hear is someone dismissing my lie when they ask me if I'm okay or not..."

Hikari started to cry. She covered her eyes with her hand. 

Junmyeon pulled her to lean onto him, "All always be there. You supported yourself long enough. You've suppressed it long enough. I'll be your support from now on..."

"If that's what you need me to be, that's what I'll be. No one deserves to cry themselves to sleep as much as you did..." 

"It's tiring, Junmyeon... Tiring to walk around the path of thorns alone and in the dark..."

—

Junmyeon got home a bit after 3 am. He plopped onto his bed, letting out a deep breath. He smiled slightly as the image of Hikari smiling, feeling a bit better played in his mind.

His phone rang and he fished it out of his pocket.

Sleep well, Junmyeon. I hope you'll dream of happy things.

Sorry for your sweater :(

A slightly better-feeling, Hikari ^^

"Seeing you feeling better is already a happy dream. Knowing that you're not taxing your own emotions as much is all I need to know."