Behind the Glasses || a.i.

Chapter 33 - Foster Nerd

Warning: This may or may not trigger thoughts and feelings for certain people. Please don't let it get to you. I love you. I put the passage in because I am currently reading the book, and I was shocked and felt it seemed right to put here. I do not take credit for Steven Chbosky's work. Thank you.

 As I am writing this entry, I can’t stop thinking about what I read last night. I’ve been reading “The Perks of being a Wallflower” in my free time, but since I read this one part last night, I can’t seem to move on. It was one of those things where your heart sinks to the pit of your stomach, and you want to cry, but you can’t. I went into a panic attack, a state of shock.

 On pages seventy-one through seventy-three, there is a poem.

 “Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines

     He wrote a poem

And he called it “Chops”

     Because that was the name of his dog

And that’s what it was all about

And his teacher gave him an A

     and a gold star

And his mother hung it on the kitchen door

     and read it to his aunts

That was the year Father Tracey

     took all the kids to the zoo

And he let them sing on the bus

     with tiny toenails and no hair

And his mother and father kissed a lot

And the girl around the corner sent him a

     Valentine signed with a row of X’s

And his father always tucked him into bed at night

And was always there to do it

 

“Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines

     He wrote a poem

And he called it “Autumn”

     Because that’s what it was all about

And his teacher gave him and A

     And asked him to write more clearly

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

     Because of its new paint

And the kids told him

     That Father Tracey smoked cigars

And left the butts on the pews

And sometimes they would burn holes

That was the year his sister got glasses

     With thick lenses and black frames

And the girl around the corner laughed

     When he asked her to go see Santa Claus

And the kids told him why

     His mother and father kissed a lot

And his father never tucked him in bed at night

And his father got mad

     When he cried for him to do it

 

“Once on a paper torn from his notebook

     He wrote a poem

And he called it “Innocence: A Question”

     Because that was the question about his girl

And that’s what it was all about

And his professor gave him an A

     And a strange steady look

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

     Because he never showed her

That was the year Father Tracey died

And her forgot how the end

     Of Apostle’s Creed went

And he caught his sister

     Making out on the back porch

And his mother and father never kissed

     Or even talked

And the girl around the corner

     Wore too much makeup

That made him cough when he kissed her

     But he kissed her anyway

     Because that was the thing to do

And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed

     His father snoring soundly

 

“That’s why on the back of a brown paper bag

     He tried another poem

And he called it “Absolutely Nothing”

Because that’s what it was really about

And he gave himself an A

And a slash on each damned wrist

And he hung it on the bathroom door

     Because this time he didn’t think

     He could reach the kitchen.”

---

Tough stuff. I literally had to sleep it off when I first read that part, like, I physically couldn't move on.

To anyone who is feeling espescially down about this, inbox message me, dm me on twitter - I will probably get back to you the fastest that way tbh - (@Writing_Styles), or even instagram message me (@meagd14) and I will do my best to respond asap. I can't promise much with timezones, I am sorry, but I will certainly try my best for you guys.

Even if you aren't really upset about this much, message me on twitter or wattpad (I'm not really on insta much :/) and I would love to chat. :)

Also, thank you so so so very much to @xfactorftyoutube for your lovely comment. It made me smile a lot, and the people around me noticed a difference in my mood, so thank you, hun. Ily. x

You guys are amazing, and I love you all so much.

Thank you.

Meag xx