Sunflowers - Commentary Community

One Day - WillNE

The door slammed shut, vibrating all the walls that surrounded it. I could hear you still screaming and bellowing down the corridor how horrid I was and how I made the biggest mistake of my life. Maybe you were right.

Your last words still echoing in my head. 'Quit living in your fantasy world and see what you have in front of you!' I had you. But you were toxic, in a way. I had the capability to be happy, to smile without a command but some days that's hard. It wasn't ever your fault, sometimes I worked myself too hard that I lost my focus.

The world doesn't revolve around videos and drama, I know that. It's just some days, that world seemed better to live in than my own. That's not your fault, it could never be your fault. I just didn't want to show you the thoughts in my head. I always wanted to be the strong, confident and motivated Will that you loved me for being. I was wrong, you loved me regardless of how I acted. You just hated when I hid away from the world and that was becoming a more regular part of life. The videos seemed to take longer to film. The edits just never seeming to be as simple as I planned in my head. This isn't even including the amount of content ruined due to corrupted files.

By this point I hadn't realised how I had slid down to the floor, covering my face with the ends of my sleeves to hide the tsunami that escaped my eyes. I kept thinking about everything that had happened since you strolled into my life and I struggled to find a positive. My work load had become so much harder. I now had to cut you out of videos and be careful how I acted or what I posted because you refused to let the world see us for what we are. You were scared, and I have no idea why. The world would love you, just as much as I do.

Everything I did had to be manipulated around your needs and wants. That's okay, every once in a while but for you to tell me that I can't even post a photo because your hand was in it. No one would care, no one would give a damn. It's a god damn hand, for fuck sake. Yet I stood by your thoughts and opinions and didn't do it.

Maybe that's the reason I was in my fantasy world so much, because sometimes reality was such a difficult place to be. I was never right, I was never allowed to have an opinion. Yet I love you, and you storming out just breaks me more than anything ever could.

There might be one day, some time in the future where I regret ever meeting you. But right now, I just want you back here in my arms.