Betrayals ✓ [Book 1 & 2]

Book 1 • Chapter 7 • Notes

"No, I'm none of these things" I say as I feel one tear roll down my cheek. Jack wipes away my tear with his thumb. Something inside me wants to trust him but something tells me not to, I'm so confused right now. It's like one part of me wants to be with him while the other doesn't. My mind is telling me to push him away while my heart is screaming at me to pull him close to me.

"Yes you are, now stand up" He says as he stands up. But when I was about to stand up I fall down, he catches me before I hit the floor. I'm getting so weak because I'm not eating anything anymore. Well I don't care about that and I wish I had fallen to the floor, it would have been better for me. Perhaps I would have hit my head and lost consciousness. Now we were both sitting on the floor but he is hugging me, I don't feel comfortable like this. Yet, I kind of like being hugged. I've barely had any human contact in years. Most of the time, it's when Anna is hitting me. I guess that is all the contact I get.

"Wait here, I'm going to get something" He says as he stands up and walks to the door. This is perfect, he leaves me here and I have my razor with me so I can continue to cut. The only problem is I have to find my razor, Jack threw it somewhere and I have no idea in what direction he threw my razor. Now it's up to me to find it and by the dark in here it could be hard and besides I have no idea when he comes back with...who knows what he will bring.

I search the room from bottom up to top and luckily for me I found my razor, thank God I found him. I try to stand up but like last time I couldn't stand but I manage to get my razor. I begin to cut and when I'm cutting the third scar, the door opens and Jack comes in holding something but I'm not sure what it is. I was kind of hoping that he would return. That he just left me here. It would have been better.

He goes over to me and sits on the floor, right beside. I see what he is holding, he is holding a sandwich. Oh! no, please don't tell me he is going to make me eat that sandwich. And I got to say this sandwich is probably really gross, it has butter and cheese. It will make me fat even when I am already fat.

"I'm not gonna eat that" I say and shake my head. He just ignores me and opens the sandwich, that is wrapped in plastic foil.

"If you don't eat the sandwich, I will feed you and don't test me because I will feed you if I have to. Now open up" He tells me, more like demands me. I know Jackson is serious because he is really stubborn, he has always been that way and probably always will be but I not sure. Well I probably will never know how he will be when he's older because my life is about to come to an end soon. I have to obey him so I open my mouth and put the gross sandwich into my mouth.

This is so disgusting, I feel a strange feeling in my stomach that I haven't felt in a long time and that is food in my stomach. I know I have eaten a banana but that doesn't make my stomach full and now he is getting full by each bite. It makes me want to throw up. I don't like it when he is full of when I eat but what can I do now I'm being forced to eat against my own will. I need to be skinny and that can never happen if I eat and if he makes me eat. I fight the urges to punch him in the face.

Jack forces me to eat the whole sandwich and now I really just want to throw it up and get that sandwich out of my stomach. I don't feel good right now, this is so gross and it tastes horrible. I don't feel weak at the moment but I feel different. And I hate it.

"See, this ain't that bad" He says, probably trying to lighten the mood. That's easy for him to say, he sent the one that is being forced to eat against his will. God I hate him so much. He made me eat a whole sandwich and with cheese and butter, I wish I could just go back to my old life where he or anyone doesn't notice me and I'm just all alone. And I'm hurt because of it well I deserve to be hurt and broken. I'm just a waste of space, at least that is what my family tells me even Anna says I'm nothing and worthless and should die and the list can go on and on for a long time. I think the list might be endless.