Stay With Me § BWWM JB

17 • It's My Fault

"Sometimes you
make me nervous."

Once Scooter left, I had been pacing back and forth. I don't know what's going on, but I know Sam is involved. I swear if something bad happened to her, I will not be able to forgive myself. I'm the one who caused her pain. I am the source that drove her to using drugs. God, why am I such an idiot?

I am so on edge right now. Doing the only thing that I know will calm me, I run upstairs to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. "Woo," I say in response to the coldness hitting my skin. I grab a face towel from the mini towel rack on the counter and pat my face dry. I feel somewhat refreshed, but I'm still internally freaking out.

Setting the towel down on the counter, I turn off the bathroom light and enter my room. As soon as I sit down on my bed, my phone begins to ring. It's stupid for me to think that Sam would be calling, but I answer with hopefulness.

"Sam, is that you?...Oh, hey Scooter...Did you find her?...No, no, no...It's all my fault. I'm coming," I rush out before shoving my phone in my pocket and running downstairs to the kitchen to grab my keys from the key rack.

I don't waste anytime and I find myself speeding down the road, praying to God that I don't get pulled over. I know I shouldn't be driving fast, but I need to get to the hospital as quick as possible.

Just my luck, as soon as I'm pulling up to a red light, it turns green and I press on the gas. Doing sixty in a forty shouts give me a ticket, but I honestly don't care right now.

I arrive at the hospital twenty minutes later, fortunately with no speeding tickets. Quickly getting out of the car and locking it, I run towards the entrance. Of course the paparazzi would be here. I rush through, bumping into them with my shoulders as I try to get to the sliding doors. Successfully making it inside, I run to the front desk to ask for Sam's room number. The lady's eyes grow big as she notices who I am and blurts out the room number, pointing me in the direction.

"Thank you," I breathe out before speed walking down the hall, looking left and right at the numbers on the wall.

"121," I read aloud before knocking on the door.

Scooter pulls the door open, but tries to stop me from coming in. I push past him and enter the room.

When I'm able to see Sam laying in the bed with a mask over her mouth and wires hooked up to her, I stop dead in my tracks. "Oh my God," I whisper, trying to fight back the tears.

"Justin," Scooter calls from behind me. I ignore him and my feet start moving towards Sam's bed.

"This is m-my fault...I d-did this to her," I stutter, walking closer to the bed. "Sam, wake up."

Scooter comes up behind me and grabs my arm to try and pull me away, but I wiggle out of his grasp. Wrapping my arms around Sam's unconscious body, I let out a cry, "I'm s-so sorry."

Scooter realizes that he can't move me away so he pats my back, "I need you to calm down. She's gonna be okay."

I brush Sam's hair out of her face, "Baby, I'm sorry for everything."

Scooter sighs and walks over to the empty chair next to her bed and sits down.

"Wake up. I need you," I plead as a few tears escape my eyes and fall onto her face. I gently wipe them away with my thumb. "Please," I whisper.

"Justin, listen to me." I try to gain control over myself as I peer my eyes over to Scooter. "You need to pull yourself together. Sam is going to wake up, but do you think she's gonna want to open up her eyes to a crying mess?"