Miss Incomplete | ✓

81 | He Loves Me

"I know things are going through your mind, just say it,"

I bite my lip, debating opening my mouth to spill. Just hours ago, Julian had confronted Tasha and turned her from girlfriend, to his ex. I knew I had selfish thoughts swarming my head, but I didn't know if it's my place to even tell them.

"Are you going to tell me the truth if I do ask?" I queried, finding my attention back to the koi fish pond. Where we had our first 'date.' Where almost everything began.

"No bullshit," he repeats, "I will."

I sigh, finding myself back in a situation where I had to slowly tip-toe in before jumping full-fledge.

"Why did you date Tasha in the first place?"

I didn't check, but I could feel him giving off a sad smile.

He sucks in a breath, "because she was perfect. She was this amazing girl who was smart, beautiful, kind and all in between. She loves animals and kids, and she always voiced her thoughts. At first, I thought if I got into a relationship with her, it would stay the same. Then, going deeper, something changed. She begin to be more possessive. More demanding. She pointed out things I didn't need to hear and always told her mind—to the point where I hated it. She became different. She was more irritated when I didn't listen, and she always made sure the attention was on her. I guess, in today's words, she became toxic."

"Then," I said quietly, "why did you got back together with Tasha?"

He looks away, frowning at the thought. "That's one thing I regret. Something I will always regret."

"No bullshit, Julian," I reminded softly, "give me an answer."

He nods, exhaling deeply as he focuses back on the water. The fishes.

"I was about thirteen, fourteen when I first got together with Tasha. I think, with her maturity and her knowledge, she knew how to lure me in. She somehow, in some way, managed to make me feel like I needed her to survive. I was young, easily manipulated, and in words, she took advantaged of that."

He sucks in a breath. "I thought that was how a relationship worked. One person controlling the other. I thought, truly, that if Tasha tells me what to do and I listen, that's how a relationship remains good. Okay. If I listen, if I follow through on her commands, and when she makes choices for me, I'll be a good boyfriend."

He pauses, clenching his hands by his side as he grips onto the grass. "When I saw her, again, after all these years of being separate—her breaking up with me. Something just told me that I needed to be back with her. When she kissed me," he said, pained, "I kissed back. Tasha was the one on my mind for years, begging and telling me I wasn't enough for her. So when she comes back, and kisses me, I thought it finally meant I was enough. I spent years yearning for this girl, would've practically begged for her to come back if I could, and when she came and just kiss me, I knew I had to take her back."

I didn't know why it sting, but it definitely did. The thought that Julian purely living, purely thinking about Tasha hurts me. I know it was past tense and he is most likely over it by now, but does that mean that when we were together, he was thinking about her?

"I'm over her." He said calmly, and I look up to see Julian's eyes focus on me. "Don't cry."

I touch my cheeks, finding moisture on them. I didn't even noticed I was crying, Jesus, is my period coming early?

Julian leans over and wipe the tears from my face, frowning as he does so. I hold his hand, trying to pull him away but he won't budge. "I'm over her, Francena, I am."