Protect You || Sanders Sides

~ Part 2 ~

A/N ~ The second part of the comic is above if you would like to read it, but otherwise please enjoy (warning, I wrote this in the middle of school so it may be bad)

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
I only wanted to protect you,
But when I heard you cry,
My heart hurt like it had been torn
And I wasn't quite sure why.

People seem to underestimate the amount of love a person must feel for someone in order to be willing to push them away for their own safety. It takes a strength beyond what many imagine. When you love a person enough that you will do absolutely anything for them - including ignoring your feelings - you know you've fallen hard. That level of emotion towards one person can be both dangerous and beautiful; it can show how strong of a bond has formed, whilst simultaneously providing control over the other person's feelings.

At least, these words are what Virgil has been using to make himself feel less like a bastard. These words are the only thing that have kept him sane since breaking up with Patton.

"I beg you, Virge!" Patton pleaded, taking a step forward so that he blocked the only exit. Virgil stood up, using the toilet lid for support, and rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. "We need to do something before they-"

Using his elbow to push Patton out of the way, Virgil stormed past. The yelp of pain which Pat let out stabbed straight into Virgil's heart, but every move towards him, every word that he spoke to him was putting the other in danger. Heck, he was even in danger just for coming to check on Virgil. So, as much as it tore Virgil open from the inside, his only option was to keep him as far away as possible and to act as though he was indifferent to Patton's pain.

That in itself was draining. He already felt empty from being without Patton, but having to pretend that he didn't care for the other man's feelings felt like he was lying somehow. In a way he was. He was convincing himself that Patton meant nothing to him when the reality was that he actually meant the world. He was his world. And he'd pushed him away.

"I told you Pat!" He snapped "I'm perfectly fine!" Well wasn't that the lie of the century. "Please don't talk to me here!"

Biting his lip, Virgil looked up and down the man stood in front of him, having now moved back into Virgil's path. He had to give Patton credit. He sure as hell wasn't going to give up, no matter how much it hurt. Folding his arms, Patton moved a piece of hair out of his face and tares at Virgil's, eyes begging for him to just explain.

"Now please excuse me" he whispered, pushing past Patton with his shoulder and heading towards the bathroom door. He needed to get out of here before anyone found out.

Patton swallowed back tears and turned to watch as Virgil walked past him. He reached out a hand, wanting to just grab Virgil and not let go until he explained what was wrong. What he had done to deserve this pain, this heartbreak. Just what he'd done to deserve this. His voice was gentle, cracking as he spoke due to the strain he was putting on his throat in order to stop your sobs from rising. "Virgil please listen to me-"

"This is none of your business okay?!" Virgil could hear his voice rising, could hear the edge and the sharpness to his words. It was for the best.

Patton let his extended arm drop to his side, staring dejected as Virgil placed a hand on the bathroom door handle and let out a sigh. "Virge" he pleaded, feeling stray tears roll down his cheeks and drip onto the floor. As he took a single step forward, he froze. Virgil had winced. The moment he had gone forward, he had winced away. From him.

"Listen, Patton" Virgil sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It is really complicated. I'm sorry but-"

"COMPLICATED?!?!"

Patton couldn't help it anymore. He didn't care how much Virgil pushed him away and said that he didn't care anymore, he couldn't just stand here and not know what.. what he had done.

"You broke up with me, all for no reason, stop talking to me, and then you get bullied?!" He was rambling now, voice raised, but he didn't care, tears streaming down his face in salt rivers, staining the skin. "Do you think I'm that dumb? Do you think about my feelings watching you suffer like that? Not being able to help you?" He took a couple of gasping breaths. "Being so damn useless!?"

Leaning his forehead against the door, Virgil closed his eyes for a moment. He couldn't tell him. He couldn't risk Patton getting hurt. No matter what the cost may be.

"They forced you to eat garbage, Virgil!" Swallowing, Virgil turned to look over his shoulder at Patton.

The other was sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor. "For fuck sake!" Curled up and gently sobbing into his knees, Patton finally let himself break down for the first time since Virgil had first broken up with him. In between sobs there were sharp intakes of breath, vain attempts to regain the energy and oxygen which he had lost when he'd lost it towards Virgil.

His heart hurt. Everything hurt. All he wanted was Virgil to hold him and say that this was all a mistake and that he didn't want to hurt him.

Shaking, Virgil clenched his free hand at his side and the other gripped the door handle, leaving indents of the metal in the skin of his palm. It was out of fear - pure fear alone - for Patton's safety that he didn't go and comfort him. It was the fear that kept him rooted where he stood, the room suddenly feeling too cramped and his hoodie too tight and as if the pain was going to crush him.

"I still love you so much, Patton, I really do but..." He trailed off, putting one hand onto the closed door in front of him. At least he wasn't shaking as much.

Patton slowly lifted his head up off his knees, still sobbing and trying to calm himself down. He didn't want Virgil to go. He wanted to go back.

He wanted to go back to the times where he would drag Virge onto the couch and force him to watch movies with him, Virgil arguing and making cynical remarks the entire time about how stupid the various characters were. But at the end, once the popcorn had either been fed to Patton by Virgil or lay scattered on the floor from the mid-movie popcorn fight, Virgil had always admitted that he secretly enjoyed the cheesy movies.

"I only want to protect you, so please bear with me for now, ok?" Virgil's voice was soft. A comfort. It always had been.

Opening his mouth to beg him not to leave, Patton quickly closed it as the dark persona pushed open the door and rushed out, rounding the corner and out of view. Leaving Patton curled up on the floor, tears still steaming up his glasses, to watch the door slowly swing closed behind him.

Pushing his hands into his pockets, Virgil quickly walked down the corridor. His makeup was ruined. He looked like a mess. But what the fuck, he was only going to look more of a mess by the time the guys had finished with him anyway so there was no point in trying to sort himself out now, was there?

Stood outside the door, headphones it, sunglasses on, he hummed slightly to himself. They certainly had been loud when arguing in there. Pushing himself off the wall, he began walking to class, sipping on the Starbucks which he held in his hand.

I only wanted to protect you,
Instead I hurt you more
Then they could ever hurt me.
I hurt the one that I adore.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~