Protect You || Sanders Sides

~Part 10~

A/N ~ Angst for my bean anyone? Nope, just me who wants Roman angst? OK...
A/N . 2 ~ I am also going through all of the parts and adding more detail, so once it's complete I will republish everything with more words. You can reread them if you want or not: up to you ^-^

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The low chuckling had grown, swollen into a swirling vortex of laughter, latching onto Roman and spinning him to the point of feeling sick. His head was pounding, the grinning, smirking, snarling faces in front of him only adding to the pain. Only adding to the torture. He swallowed back a scream, longing more then anything just to get out of there.

He felt the liquid continue to drip onto his head, running down the side of his face and mingling with the salt tears that had now made their way down his cheeks.

The costume was ruined. Of course it was. He'd made it himself, spent hours after school and at home cutting and sewing and adjusting so that he finally made himself the prince costume. It was all for nothing though wasn't it? Now it was ruined, he was ruined, everything was ruined.

"Guys... please don't laugh at me..." his voice trailed off, another wave of laughter drowning him. "This is not funny anymore..."

Blinking, Roman felt another round of tears drip off his eyelashes and onto the floor.

Clenching his hands into fists, the drops of liquid continued to slide off his hair, off his face, sliding easily over the silk fabric of his sash. His hair was soaked and he could feel the hair clip he'd found beginning to slip off the dripping strands. More tears mingled with the mess on his face, causing his eyes to sting.

"I'm serious... I thought we were friends..."

The laughter didn't stop. Wouldn't stop. It was relentless. Unforgiving. Refusing to lessen for the sake of one so pathetic as Roman.

Looking around, Roman searched desperately for the one person he hoped could help him. Heart dropping, he blinked just to make sure the tears weren't making his eyesight go weird. Deffinetly him. The one person who might have helped him. Sniggering alongside everyone else.

"Dolos? Even you too..." his hands trembled at his sides "How could you even laugh at me like that?"

Of course he was laughing. Did he ever actually care? Noone had ever really cared about him, if Roman was being real with himself. Why the fuck would they?

Roman closed his eyes for a moment. The tears had not stopped and neither had the laughter. Neither had the smirks. Neither had the sniggering or the pointing or the grinning. Something stirred within him. A sort of fire. Something which resembled both anger and dismay and fear all at the same time. The feeling grew, taking over him and dripping into the darkest crevices of his body and mind.

"It hurts" he whispered.

Snapping his eyes open, he didn't know. He didn't know but something had changed. The once blue colour of his eyes had disappeared, replaced with a burning, shining gold.

They were bright. Glittering thanks to the tears that still remained in his eyes. At the centre, unbeknown to Roman, was a crown so bold and emitting so much light that it was almost blinding. A crown that matched exactly the small symbol which was on the hair clip he had found earlier. He blinked once, the light disappearing for just a moment as he did so before reappearing with a vigour never seen by any living human.

If anyone else noticed them then Roman didn't know. There was a roaring in his ears, glittering tears continuing to escape onto the pale skin of his cheek. He couldn't hear. He couldn't focus. He couldn't breathe.

"It hurts" he repeated, voice raising with each repetition of the phrase. It really did hurt. Everything was burning and he just wanted to curl up and hide away forever.

Roman clenched his hands for a moment, the moment he released them a fire formed around the skin. Not the feeling he had been thinking about, but real, burning, red hot flames that curled and moved inbetween his fingers. It climbed up his arm so that his hand and wrist were entirely engulfed, the flames growing without him even knowing they were there to begin with.

"It hurts so bad I can't breathe!"

The words screamed out of him, the fire finally leaving his hands and throwing the flames around towards-

His eyes snapped open, breath heavy as his head leaned against the pillow. Staring into the dark for several moments, Roman waited. Just to make sure that it had been a dream.

Once he was certain that he was once more himself, Roman blinked and lifted the back of his hand to wipe away some of the tears which had appeared during sleep. Thankfully he was the only one in the room at the time, else he didn't know how the hell he was going to explain this to anybody.

Finally sitting up, Roman took several panting breaths. "Huh" he adjusted the beanie he had on, eyes darting around for fear of seeing some form of fire damage.

"God..  it's that dream again..." he whispered to the darkness, directing his eyes down towards the bed and closing them again.

He wished that just once he wouldn't have to remember what happened. He wished that just once he could sleep through the entire night and not have his mind remind him of the single worst mistake of his life. He wished that just once he would be allowed to forget and he wouldn't feel the guilt, the pain, the regret that he did everybody time the memory resurfaced and haunted his nightmares. He wished that just once those same nightmares could he normal; not this twisted act which he had done.

Clenching his hands into fists, Roman clutched onto the covers as he felt tears once more well up behind his closed eyelids.

Regret soared through his body, overwhelming him as it always did when he first awoke from this dream. Regret and despair and a specific hatred towards the naive and foolish person he once was.

"At this point, I wonder if Logan would let me borrow his sleeping pills for a while or so..."

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