Nova's Diary

Chapter Four

13th August Brașov, 8:25 pm- I awoke not too long ago, my headache relieved and my senses rested and back to normal. My mind however, was still racing, and my embarrassment had not yet gone away. My own actions were that of an unprofessional. I paced around my room for a while, Elizabeth bringing me up some dish I did not even really take the time to taste. I did not drink the wine given to me, no, I had learned my lesson from that quite well. I thought about booking my ticket home, and had my phone in my hand as I tried to find the cheapest flight, when a knock interrupted me. I told them to enter, and to my absolute luck it was Dexter. He himself looked a tad disheveled, his hair not as neatly pressed and groomed as previous. He made his way over to the couch, sitting down and waving me over. After a moment of hesitation, I slowly made my way over, sitting next to him, making sure there was a comfortable distance between us. He gave me an odd look, before fixing his necktie.
    "Miss Nova, about last night-" I immediately jumped in, waving my hands and laughing in an attempt to show how much I absolutely did not care about it.
    "Oh Dexter I was drunk I am terribly sorry for that! I promise you it did not mean anything at all!" I looked at him, but his face was not one I expected. It was red, his eyebrows furrowed and arched up, his mouth clenched shut tightly. I was taken aback, had I embarrassed him further?
    "I see. I must admit I did not wish that to be so." His answer sent me in a near shock, and I nearly choked. His gaze was downcast, a scarily somber and silent aura filled the room, his posture slouching. I was baffled. Had this man actually had something of an infatuation with me? I reached out, patting his arm gently in an attempt to soothe his now hurt feelings.
    "Dexter, I hadn't an inkling you felt any way other than friendly towards me. I am sorry to have assumed so. I would be lying if I claimed that you did not have me entirely beguiled upon our first conversation. You are a very eccentric and kind man, much, much different than what I am used to..." Dexter's head tilted up for a moment at this, his posture still in that slouched state.
    "What do you mean by that Nova? Have you not a kind person whom holds your heart?" He was assuming I had a boyfriend, and, somewhat, his assumption was correct. But it was a moment of weakness, and something of a feeling to say what I did next.
    "Well, I did at one point. He was a sweet man, but after some time he became cruel, abusive in a physical and verbal sense. He treated me like something of a tool, a lesser being. I left him promptly before my trip here, and I suppose you could say I am a tad vulnerable at the moment, and that could be another reason for my rash actions. Now I must ask you something. How have you developed a crush on someone you've known for only around a handful of days?" His pale face once again tinted a deep red. His fist raising to his mouth as he cleared his throat. He avoided my eyes for a moment before stealing a glance at them.
    "Well, my family is not the luckiest when it comes to finding kind and accepting people. I feel as though we may have more similarities than you think, as you confided in me last night about your issues of judgmental people in your life. I suppose you look different, and you are somewhat fascinating to me because of that. I have never seen someone with such interesting features. Everyone in my family is very thin and plain looking, save our fashion sense. You are nicely filled out and your hair and skin are beautifully different. I went off of your looks for a few days, until I began to speak to you more. You are so intelligent, and you truly are something else. I have not met someone who is able to instil in me such humour and joy in such a short time. My family is rather old fashioned, we court in short times and we often believe in love at first sight, soulmates even. Stupid in this day and age I know, but it is my family's way." I was awestruck, flattered to say the least. This man was like something out of a fairytale, his views on love a bit outdated, but his heart was in the right place. I gave him a small smile, before letting out a chuckle, saying what was on my mind before he got too offended.
    "Dexter, that is absolutely darling. You are a very sweet man with such a cute look on love. I must say this is a tad fast for my taste, but the last time I took nearly a decade on my sweetheart, and he still hurt me deeply. I am unsure of the reason, but I am feeling rather risky at the moment. I do enjoy your company out of anyone I've known, and I do wish to talk to you more, and maybe even get closer. I think it would be a bit fast to agree to be in a relationship, but I think it would be nice to get to know each other more one on one. Would you perhaps take me to the garden? I have had my eye on it for a while now, and I would love to look at it closer." The look on Dexter's face was one for memory, a stupidly silly grin spread across his face, the hair covering the top of his ears swished around a bit, which caught my eye. His smile faded as he cleared his throat and nodded, a small smile spreading back.
    "I would love to give you a tour of my garden. I take much pride in it, and I think you will find it very charming." He stood up, holding his hand out to help me up. I took it, smiling up at him and standing, to which he released my hand and offered his arm for me to hold. Such a gentleman he was, it still made me weak in my head. I grabbed his arm and he led me down the steps, and outside. The fresh air was wonderful, the smell of flowers immediately filling my nostrils. I was absolutely giddy as Dexter showed me the way to the gate to the garden, pushing it open and smiling. He let me in first, stepping in behind me and closing the iron gate. The flowers were magnificent, some long stemmed, some short, vivid and pure colours filled my eyes, the setting sun resting behind the large trees surrounding the massive home. Dexter moved beside me, leading me along the nearly covered path, telling me about various flowers he pointed to. He pointed to a flower with the most peculiar appearance . It was an icy blue, white bulbs hung off of the four long petals, the stem a deep green. Dexter told me he had bred and named the flower, it was called an Ice Vampire, and it only bloomed at night.
    "I wanted a flower with the same issue as me, something besides my brother to vent and relate to. It is truly my pride and joy of this whole garden." He ran his finger gingerly along the fragile looking petal, before a question dinged into my brain.
    "Is that why you named it that? Ice Vampire?" Dexter looked to me, before snorting softly and nodding.
    "I have, well, related to the vampire for most of my life. I have the same struggle. The sunlight is an unforgiving mistress, and the night became my day." I let out a soft giggle, shaking my head and putting my hand on my cheek.
    "If I did not know any better I would have labelled you a vampire just the same." He looked surprised for a moment, his face losing some of its colour, if that was at all possible.
    "Oh? And what gave you this idea? My attire? My voice?" I was surprised he did not faint he was so pale now. I laughed softly, playing off the situation smoothly, at least as smoothly as I could.
    "Well, sure, those do not make your case any better, but to me, it is your mannerisms. Allow me to explain. You act very, how should I say, old fashioned? You're very well mannered and tame, but you hold this odd darkness and mystery to you, which very much interests me. I feel you remind me of Dracula, which coming from me is meant as a compliment I assure you. I find vampires alluringly wonderful, and you have peaked my interest very much" Before I realised, we had walked around the garden, and had ended up sitting in an old, worn down gazebo resting near the middle of the vast meadow of flowers. I took a look around, the small structure itself was in a beginning of disrepair, some paint and wood chipping and ageing, nothing a little maintenance wouldn't fix. Dexter was silent for a moment, only nodding to my response. Soon, he asked a rather difficult question.
    "Miss Nova, since we are on the subject of vampires, I must ask a rather expected question. If you had the opportunity, would you yourself become an immortal?" I pondered the question, before resting my hands in my lap and looking to him, cocking my head a bit to the side.
    "Well, I would like to hear your answer first, I am quite curious myself." He gave a nod, before taking a couple of minutes to think.
    "I suppose it would depend for me. I find the thought of immortality very dull. It would be boring to live forever, no? Seeing and experiencing everything you would in life and not have that break of death, you'd become bitter and bored in time wouldn't you? Not to mention you would be alone, you wouldn't be able to have many friends that didn't die all too soon. If I was given someone to be immortal with, I may reconsider, but wouldn't you as get bored of them just as well? Love is a fickle mistress and often can leave people harmed in this short life we have, imagine what she could do in a life that has no end!" He pushed up his glasses, crossing his arms as if to affirm his statement. I closed my eyes, nodding slowly before opening my mouth.
    "I do not think I feel the same. Not at all. I find the thought of immortality enticing. Sure, there is a matter of boredom and loneliness, but imagine what wonders you'd be able to experience. I could follow my real passions, I could explore the world! I could do so much someone could only dream of doing in this mortal life time. I may be a bit selfish but I could see myself being okay with losing those I love to live forever. A fear of death I suppose. I would rather delay the inevitable than experience it. I would gladly accept what others deem a curse. My life is nearly empty, void of any passion or love, and I am already near 30! If I had that glorious option to be immortal, I would take it." Dexter seemed a bit taken aback by my answer, his eyes somewhat darkening as they bore into my own. He gave a slow nod, as if somewhat agreeing, but it was hard to say.
    "Then, of course I must ask, would you be able to survive as a vampire if the option was given to you? Would you be able to deal with that utter torture of no longer being able to see the sun, having to live off of blood like some-some parasite? Would you honestly be able to live knowing no one would ever love you, and if they somehow did, they would die before your very eyes over, and over, and over again? Could you live like that?" I stared at him with wide eyes, my hands gripping my pant legs tightly. He spoke so passionately about this, as if he himself went through it. I rationalised, that, of course he may have, he was doomed to stay inside as a natural disorder, love was likely last on his list. I cleared my throat, giving him an answer that I am sure he did not expect.
    "I could live as a vampire. I have rationalised it, and a vampire needn't kill to feed. I wouldn't kill a person, or turn a person unless asked. I could bear without the sun I believe, as I am a night owl anyway. I could handle finding and consuming the blood I need. As for your last question, I believe that answer is still yes, I could live with it. Family deaths are something to get used to, and I have experienced them before, I know it is only a matter of time before I experience more, and that is fine, it hurts for a time, but you eventually move on, the memories of them suffice. Deaths of those we love romantically are no different I think." I bowed my head, my hands now relaxed, my eyes scanning over my palms.
    "We are humans, death is something that has captivated us for so long, and no one even knows what happens when we do die. People can only speculate, and I suppose that is where the fear comes in. My whole life, at least since I could remember, I remember being fearful of what happens when we go to sleep forever. My grandfather died when I was 4, and that moment, when I saw his waxy, embalmed body, stiff in that coffin, I realised that I did not want to end up like that. Even without the knowledge or comprehension of death I still feared it! I could honestly deal with immortality because almost all of my life, I have been tensely waiting for death to strike me down. I know of it, and I do not want it to come. I want to follow my dreams, and I want to feel like, for even just a moment, I matter more than I once thought. I may be a bit selfish for that reason but it is my honest word." I looked at him, his face was somber, his eyes focused on some dead flower petals resting beside us. He shook his head a bit, letting out a soft chuckle.
    "You surprise me Miss Nova. Most of the time when I ask, people just say a casual yes or no. Your answers are very well thought out. As if you've thought about them before." He glanced up at me, a mildly unsettlingly calm smile resting on his lips.
    "You mentioned you wished to fulfil your passions. Is law not your passion? Please, elaborate." He was changing the subject, but it was a tense one, so I could not blame him. I smiled fondly at the thought of my old passions, my hand placed over my heart as I let out a blissful sigh.
    "Well, I became a lawyer, as my family is often rather, hm, free spirited, and I wanted to distance myself from such juvenile behaviour. A bunch of hippies they are. My real passion was not law no, it was to be an author, or a cosmetologist. A wide difference between them but the two where both my dream jobs. I did in fact join beauty school for a time, but I inevitably failed and dropped out, to which I went to law. It seemed somewhat easier and smoother for me, and I never really ended up following my dreams. My life was fairly straight laced after that, which was not the most fun I suppose. I still hope to be a lawyer one day, but I have yet to find my muse." I looked back to Dexter, who seemed to be listening rather intensely. He gave a slight nod, before resting his elbow on his knee and placing his chin on the palm of his hand. He gave a small smile at me, before tilting his head to the side a bit.
    "I am sure you will find quite the interesting story in time. I think you should follow your passions! Life is far too short for us to be so straight-laced. Do not throw away your dreams for a matter of professionalism. You are a bright woman, Miss Nova, and I have no doubt in my mind if you wrote a book you would be published in no time. You are truly entertaining to speak to, and I would purchase your books." He reached over and placed his hand on my knee, patting it and closing his eyes, leaning back against the old wall of the gazebo. He looked thoughtful, his arms loosely crossed over his chest. As if to read my mind he began to share his own passions.
    "I suppose my passion is, not surprisingly, gardening. Everything about it makes me happy, the fact I have small life forms to nurture and feed, ones that depend on me for life and health, it makes me feel as though I have hundreds of little children to care for, and who love me. I can barley even bring myself to cut down the weeds. When winter rolls around I cannot help but be so sorrowful when I see this garden empty and dead. It causes me such pain until the spring. My flowers are my passion, and they are truly what keep me going as of now." I was smiling by now, the man before me was so sweet with his words, his passions were just as darling. He seemed so happy with his life, despite the hardships he had gone through, and still had to face. We chatted a bit longer before I looked at my phone, it was nearly sunrise. I managed to usher Dexter back inside and wished him goodnight, as I wished to sleep for a while. I made my way up to my room, closing the door and getting dressed into my nightdress, pulling my hair back and drawing the curtains shut. In that moment, as I crawled into the bed, I realised that this place was much more comfortable than before, and that I felt most at home here. An odd sensation and realisation, it filled me with warmth, but also mild pain. I did not want to leave such a place that made me feel so free, so happy, but I was here on business. I had to leave eventually, and that nearly caused me to cry. I looked at my phone, the text messages haunting my brain. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath before making a very hard, but needed choice. I texted Damien as follows:
    'Damien, I am no longer going to be living with you, nor am I going to call you my boyfriend. We are finished. You have harmed me enough, both emotionally and verbally, and even physically. I will be sending for my things, and you will have the apartment to yourself. Do not worry about where I am going, nor worry about where I am. I pray you get the help you need before you wrap another girl into your miserable life. Please get better, and good luck in your life.'
And with one hit of the send button, I shut off my phone and tossed it on the nightstand, curling up in the blankets. A sudden weight was lifted from my shoulders, one that made me let out a large sigh of relief, one that let me sleep sounder than I had in years.
14th August Brașov, 6:45- I awoke to Elizabeth opening the window, the setting sun filling my room with a soft orangish light. I let out a content sigh, smiling softly as I watched her. I greeted her, and she jumped a bit, as if unaware I was awake.
    "Good evening Mademoiselle. I trust you have slept well? She tilted her head, holding some towels in her hand, as well as a bulk of fabric I was unfamiliar with.
    "Quite. What is that for, Elizabeth?" I gestured to the fabric, to which a flush appeared on her cheeks. She looked away, patting the fabric gently, stroking it with her fingers tenderly.
    "You see Mademoiselle, there is a party coming up. It is a blood moon tonight, and it is tradition that the Lucard family gathers and feasts. We rarely have guests, so it would be most wonderful if you were to join us. I went to the attic, and found a gown suited to the theme of the ball this time, which is a formal masquerade, I will have a mask for you in a few hours. But we will try on this gown and see how it fits." She ushered for me to stand, to which I complied. I undressed, a bit shyly, and she slipped a petticoat on, before holding up a corset. I shook my head slightly, but she nodded in response, slipping it around my waist and fastening it, pulling the strings and tying it rather quickly. I let out a small wheeze in surprise, but soon I was comfortable. She slipped the gown onto me, and thanks to the corset, the waist fit snugly, but fit at least. The bust was a bit tight, but not too bad. Elizabeth looked very pleased to be helping me dress, a look of nostalgia in her eye. She slipped some gloves onto my hands, and it was then I took the time to examine what I was wearing. It was a reddish dress, with white trim, matching gloves, and she had placed my black flats in front of me to step into. I did so, happy to be in my own shoes. She held up a brush and a flat iron, searching around for a plug in, finally locating one. The flat iron looked worn and old, but she certainly seemed to know her way to work it. I sat in a chair for a good chunk of an hour and a half as she straightened my hair, which is godly speed for hair of my length and thickness. She bowed and told me she would be back with my mask, and in no more than ten minutes she was in my room once more, holding up a cute rabbit mask, cut off just below the nose. She put it on me, and patted my skirt, straightening it up. She pulled away, bowing once more.
    "The party is to start at 10 pm. Please be downstairs by then, I am sure the Lucard family would love to make your acquaintance. Have a lovely time at the party master." I opened my mouth to correct her, as I assumed it was a slip of the tongue, but she was gone before I could do so. I waved it off and grabbed my phone. It was 8:34, so I had time to waste. I admit my anxiousness for such a party, and I feel as though I am intruding, but at the same time, I do not feel terrible, excitement is slowly setting in. I sat on my bed, repeatedly checking the time until it was 9:55. I stood up, brushing through my hair with my fingers and walking over to the door. I took a deep breath and opened it, and off I was to the party.