Nova's Diary

Chapter Twelve

19th August London, 3:34 pm- I awoke far before Dexter, maybe it was being back home that made me want to get up and move. I stealthily crawled out of the bed, I did not want to wake him after all. I made sure he was all tucked in before getting dressed in my lounging clothes, which consisted of a big sweater and loose yoga pants. I put on my slippers and rushed downstairs, peeking into the living room. Natasha sat on the couch, watching something on the telly. I was still mystified how she managed to watch things through those bangs, I've asked her to tell me what's going on on the screen many times and she always describes it correctly, it is magical I swear. I waltzed over to the couch and leaned over the back of it, grabbing onto her shoulders. She turned her head, looking at me and smiling. I made my way around to the front of the couch, plopping down next to her. She scooted closer, resting her head on my shoulder.
"I missed you a lot you know. It was lonely here without you to entertain me." I glanced at her when she grabbed my hand and began fiddling around with my fingers, wiggling them and rubbing them.
"I wanted to go visit you but you were always busy, or Damien wouldn't let me get to you. He sucked. This other guy is nicer, he seems more like a nice person." I nodded, smiling a bit. I was doing some thinking, and I began to wonder if I should follow my real passion. I could quit my job and become an author, or something, anything. I wanted to have fun and be able to spend time with my family. I bit my lip and looked down, closing my eyes. I didn't know what I wanted to do, it was like I was fresh out of school all over again. I felt a hand on my shoulder, a hug following. Natasha buried her face in my neck, holding onto me tightly. I patted her back gently, resting my chin on top of her head. We were always close, and I left home much longer than I intended. I felt awful for leaving her up to dry like I did, she did not have very many friends but her band buddies, and they were busy often as well. After a moment, she pulled away, reaching under her bangs and wiping her hidden eyes. She sighed, her shoulders slouching over as her head lowered.
"I know we are adults now, but I really do miss you. I want you to just stay here with us! I feel like we have drifted apart. I want to spend more time with you and have fun..." I reached over and rubbed the top of her head, smiling sympathetically. She was always fairly clingy to me, never wanting me to leave. It was humorous at times, but other times it made me feel bad for her. I stroked her hair soothingly, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling.
"I want to stay here, but right now, I am finding myself. It has taken me years to figure out I've been doing something wrong, and I finally corrected it, and I am starting to really be happy! I like who I am with, even though it has only been for...how long?" I tapped my chin, my days had begun to blur, my schedule was all mucked up. I will have to look back in my journal to see when I first arrived. I rubbed my chin and shook my head, continuing on before I got lost in thought.
"Even though it has been less than a year, I really like him, and I can see a future with him. I can't be around forever, I know you want me to, but you've also got to have your own life. You are a very unique person, you can find someone to your taste." Natasha frowned, grabbing my arm and holding onto it, squishing her face into it before letting out a whimper.
"What are you going to do? Are you going to let him make you into a vampire? You'll watch us all die! Nova that isn't fair, we are your family! We barely ever got to see you for a really long time and you come back with this guy you haven't even known that long and he's not even a human being? What are you going to do if he tries to bite you or something? He is a monster, he can hurt you!" I gave her a frustrated look, shaking my head abruptly, furrowing my brow.
"You are completely misunderstanding who Dexter is. He's a nice man! He's never done anything to hurt me, and he hasn't even attempted to turn me because I've said no to him for right now." She continued to grip my arm, I knew she was just worried for me, but I was bothered with the fact she was getting into my personal business now.
"But you don't know what he's capable of! He isn't like us Nova! You can't just fend him off like you did Damien!  He could really hurt you, or any of us! What would happen if he got really hungry and you were the only person around. You'd be a dead bitch I can tell you that." I pulled my arm away from her grasp, crossing them and looking down at her, narrowing my eyes.
"Look, Natasha, I know you are saying all of this because you love me, but I know Dexter wouldn't hurt me. Sure he has been alive for a while, but I know he'd never hurt me on purpose. And just because he isn't like us doesn't mean he's a danger! Gracious that is borderline racist of you!" Thought, in all honesty, it did make me wonder, what was I going to do? I was faced with my family now, and I couldn't just make rash decisions. Plus, I really didn't know what Dexter was really capable of. He wasn't human, he was technically a monster. But he was so kind and gentle with me. I stood up in a huff, excusing myself and walking up the stairs and into the hall, going into the shower and grabbing a towel, undressing and turning on the faucet, stepping into the hot stream of water. I did my best thinking in the shower. I closed my eyes, rubbing my arms slowly as I began to think. What was I really doing? Was I rushing into another relationship because I was lonely? Or was I really in love? What did I want? How was Dexter really? What was he thinking? Is it bloodlust or love he has? I sighed, hanging my head. What a stressful shower.
-Later-
I got out of the shower after about an hour, time had escaped me of course. I dried off and tied back my hair, looking over it. I needed something to numb my brain for a while. I grabbed a comb and blow dryer, and my trusty flat iron, and made my way back into my room, plugging everything in. I dried my hair, which took half an hour alone, then recombing it took even longer. I sectioned out my hair and began the gruelling task of straightening it. There was quite a lot of it, and it being down to my rear being curly just meant it swept past that straight. This kept my brain busy for about two hours, some delays as I burnt my hand or head, but I still wasn't thinking about what I was before. On a side note, I have to get a new journal soon, this one is on the last few pages. I felt restless being holed up in my room for so long, so I decided to go get some early supper.  I walked down the steps, looking for the keys to the car, when Natasha strolled beside me. I huffed, furrowing my brows to show I had no interest in talking to her. Of course she did not listen.
"Nova, I didn't mean to upset you, I just wanted you to see everything you're putting on the line! Things can be dangerous and there's things we don't think about but others can see. It would just be easier on everyone if you maybe thought about just trying to date someone...normal?" I turned red in the face I was so upset. I finally found the keys, yanking them up and pointing a finger at Natasha's stupid hidden face.
"You are my sister, my family. You all got to take the risks you wanted to take. Mum and dad started their businesses, you started a rock band. What did I do? I went to college and got a job. I did not party or drink. I did not meet anyone else, I stayed with the same person. I did not experience life. I am a grown woman, older than you in fact. I don't need you telling me the risks I am taking or the errors I am making. I am perfectly capable of seeing those on my own! Get off of your high horse and realise that this time it is my turn to make choices without you all in mind!" I walked to the door and threw it open, stomping out and slamming the door as hard as I could. I rushed to the car and climbed inside, starting it and driving off quickly. Why did I ever think any of this was a good idea? My mother and father were always accepting but my sister was absolutely selfish in every way shape and form! I stared at the road ahead of me, all the way into town I rode in silence, gripping the wheel tightly in anger. I drove to a bar, parking and getting out, sighing. I did not want to recall this when I awoke later. I slowly got out of the car, making my way inside the bar. I ordered a pint, sitting at the bar solemnly. Once it came I drank as much as I could at once, nearly half the glass, taking a breather and downing the other half. I ordered another, and another, and another. I began feeling the stupid dizziness of a drunk, and soon all my problems melted away along with my competence. I heard the bell above the door ring, and I glanced over. I saw three people walking in, headed right for me. I reeled back, sitting up quickly and squinting as I tried to focus. Soon, the three people merged into one. I was awfully tired. The person reached down and said something, but I began to focus on how sick I felt. I covered my mouth and leaned over, vomiting. I let out a groan, this was why I never drank beer, it made me as sick as hell. I felt arms wrap around me, and soon, I was lifted up off the stool. I squirmed, batting at my captor, then I felt some hair on the chin. This relaxed me for a moment, though at the time I didn't realise why. I began to get tunnel vision, before I blacked out.
20th August London, 12:52 am- I awoke with the worst headache that I have ever had in my life. I pried open my eyes, gripping the sheets tightly as I sat up slowly. The room swirled for a moment, but it soon settled, but did not fail to make me nauseous. I shook my head a bit, propping myself up on my elbow. I hung my head for a moment, before I heard the door open. I laid on my back and turned around to face the door, seeing the outline of a tall person in front of my door. I let out a small yelp, but soon calmed when an oh so soothing voice slipped into the room, filling my ears.
"You are fine, you need to relax and take it a bit easy, you may vomit again." It was then it clicked. That voice, the facial hair, it was Dexter. I wanted to fade from existence at that very moment. I was so embarrassed. I run off, get so drunk I can't even see straight, and then I vomit all over his shoes and pants. I put my face in my hands and let out a loud moan of sorrow.
"Dexter, I am so sorry, I cannot believe I did that I am so embarrassed." I could hear in my own voice how slurred I was, but I did not much care. Dexter was soon sitting on the bed beside me, reaching out and putting his hand on top of my head. He rubbed it softly, to my honest delight. I closed my eyes and allowed my tense posture to relax.
"Your sister told me what happened, she seemed fairly worried. She didn't know where you went so I went to find you." I looked a little confused, raising my brow.
"And how did you locate me?" His ears lowered a bit, maybe being embarrassed.
"Well, I drank your blood. We are tied together now, I can smell your blood fairly far away. Plus I remember what the car looked like." I snorted softly. I began to relax a little, but I was still in a fair amount of pain. I laid down, shaking my head.
"I am just feeling a lot of pressure. My family has always been supportive of each other, but it seems like because I did not go wild when I was younger they refuse to support me now. At least, my sister does. She keeps going on and on about how dangerous you are and how I should go with a "normal" man. She has the audacity to speak of normal! Honestly she is such a hypocrite. She stresses me out. I like you and I want to be happy, but I feel like she's almost jealous. It is frustrating because I just want to be happy and move onto the new part of my life." All that talking really wore me out. Dexter caught onto that, covering me up and tucking me in, leaning down and kissing the top of my head gently.
"Do not worry about those things right now. You should sleep. We can talk tomorrow okay?" He moved back, but I reached out and grabbed his arm, looking up at him. I was groggy, but my request was clear in my head.
"Don't go." I mumbled, shaking my head a bit, as if that was a clear request. Dexter gave me a smile, crawling into the bed and laying beside me, pulling me into his arms. I exhaled, nestling my face into his chest. He smelled of cedar and vanilla, a mixture that oddly went very well together. I flopped my arms around him and smiled, before allowing myself to comfortably fall asleep next to him.
-Later-
It was about 4 am when I woke up again. Dexter was loosely holding onto me, sitting up and reading a book it seemed. I sat up, feeling even worse than before. My body felt so heavy, my head was throbbing. I needed medicine, something. I looked down at my hands, I was trembling. I felt a warmth in my nose, my hand instinctively reaching up to feel. I pulled back a fingertip of blood. That awful buzzing tingled in my ears again as my nose began to flood over with blood. I immediately felt drained, my eyes slowly moving over to Dexter. He was staring at me, the book now dropped in his lap and forgotten. He reached out, his long, thin fingers slipping underneath my hair and resting on the back of my head. He pulled me close, moving in closer. Dexter began to lick up the blood dripping off of my chin, licking it off of my lips and leaning down, nibbling the spots of blood on my shirt. I pinched my nose, leaning my head down, and thankfully, the bleeding stopped. I was happy to be clean of blood, besides the stain now on my clothes. I looked down to Dexter, who was now firmly planted on my lap, sniffing around for more blood. He was like a starving dog looking for a bone. He stared up at me with bright, nearly glowing red eyes, his hands resting firmly on my shoulders. I raised my brow, I felt a bit better but the way he was staring unsettled me a bit.
"Dexter? Are you alright? Your eyes are a bite more bright than usual..." Dexter seemed to snap out of it, looking down and rubbing his eye for a moment. He looked back up at me, his eyes back to normal now.
"I-I am dreadfully sorry. I smelled the blood and I just could not resist. It was nearly hypnotic." I was distracted from my headache, so I decided to keep the conversation going.
"So, what does my blood taste like? It must taste awfully good for you to lick it all up." Dexter closed his eyes, before leaning down and resting his head on my chest, scooting down to make himself comfortable.
"Your blood is very rich. It is smooth and sweet, like dark chocolate... it is much better than the blood we mix with the wine back at the mansion. Your blood makes me feel very warm inside... it is truly a delicacy..." I found his description of my blood nearly erotic, the tone of his voice did not help. I was about to  indulge in some naughty thoughts, before realising something. This was the second nosebleed I've had, and I was not one to get those very often, and certainly not with this much blood.
"Dexter, my nose...this is the second time I have gotten a nosebleed. The first time was when Constantine was about to break into my room." Dexter sat up, raising his brow. He looked mildly concerned for a moment, before looking in thought.
"It is possible you could be going through a withdrawal of some kind. Allow me to explain. When a vampire takes the blood of a human without turning them, the vampire is not the only one to get addicted. We transfer our saliva to our target, even by accident. This enters the human's bloodstream and gives them a sort of euphoric reaction, so they crave our bite. It makes feeding on humans much easier, and makes us feel a little less guilty. They can have withdrawals, which can be emotional or physical. It is different from person to person, so you may just be getting nosebleeds." I gave a small nod, rubbing my chin slowly.
"So, in other words, if you don't bite me again, I will keep getting these nosebleeds? That is no good. I hate getting nosebleeds. Please stop that from happening." Dexter gave me an odd look, but slowly nodded, glancing at my neck.
"May I?" I nodded, tilting my head a boring my neck for him, looking at him as he leaned in. It was odd that he wasn't sniffing all over me now, in fact, it was odd he was sniffing at all, I wondered if maybe vampires had selective breathing. He licked around my neck, as if testing to see where to bite. He found a place in the middle, his teeth grazing gingerly against my neck, before pressing those needle like fangs against my flesh. I closed my eyes tightly, letting out a gasp when I felt the fangs slide in. After the pain, there was a sudden rush of absolute bliss, so much so it nearly made me let out an inappropriate noise. Dexter gripped my arms, leaning in more, biting deeper. The deeper he went, the more I wanted. I reached up, rubbing his arms and huffing, gripping his shirt and tilting my head more. When he pulled away, I found myself staring at him, rubbing his chin gently.
"Hopefully that will help you feel just a bit better...Now you should rest. You have been up and down, tossing and turning. You need to sleep." He laid me down, the wound on my neck was tingling in the most delightful way. I gave a goofy, sleepy smile to Dexter, reaching up and rubbing his leg slowly. My wrist was gently grabbed, the palm of my hand kissed. I felt my eyelids growing heavy as Dexter laid next to me, pulling me close yet again. I have no clue when I fell asleep, but once I did, I entered yet another dreamless slumber. I wonder where all my dreams have gone