Let me hold you

3. Home sweet nightmare

"Are you sure you don't wanna stay another night?" Jake asked leaning in the doorway watching me shove the clothes I'd arrived in into my bag.
"It's fine I don't want to over stay my welcome, besides I'm probably needed back home anyway." I said.
"At 6am on a Saturday?" He said sounding slightly suspicious.
"Hey don't make me regret waking you up to say goodbye properly." I laughed zipping up my bag and walking over to him. "Besides you never know with my family." I shrug before I hug him goodbye and start to walk to the front door. I left a note on the fridge for Steven and Karen because unlike Jake I didn't want to wake them up. I pulled open the door and quietly shut it behind me. The early morning air immediately hit my face and made me squint slightly. The streets were quiet which made them perfect to walk down the middle which is what I always prefer to do whenever I walk somewhere where the roads are deserted.

As I walk I notice the small things that start to change as you enter my neighbourhood. The paint on fences starts to slightly peel and fade amongst the houses and even the roads start to show more cracks and patches. There aren't as many street lights because most people have either driven into them or they've just not been worth keeping after years of endless faults. The houses even change colour, they start off all light and colourful and then they just turn to basic dull colours. I pass the metal fence of the rundown park where I had my first fight and stop. My fingers slide into the gaps and I close my eyes and remember that day. The sun shining and the birds singing. Back when the neighbourhood actually felt like a safe place, or maybe that was just because of your lack of knowledge of the real world you were protected from as a small child. I can even remember the sound of a pair of dogs barking in the distance. Then they come over to me and we tumble and fight for a bit before we let go and go home. It was nothing really major, or even anything really worth remembering yet it still stays with me. Maybe its just because of the small scar on my cheek that I still have from it. As I shake myself out of my thoughts my hand slips from the fence and I carry on walking to my house. It's about a 40 minute walk from my house to Jakes and 45 minutes to school. But Jake doesn't know that because I told him its only a 5 minute walk to his from my house. I've never invited him to my part of town because I don't want him to know the risk this part of town has. Obviously he knows of it and he knows why he should stay as far away from it as possible, and he also knows what I'd do if I found out he'd ever come near this place. But another reason I haven't told him is because then his family would insist on driving me when I really don't want some big fuss to be made over me.

Finally I'm at my house. I stop at the fence and take a second to look at the dull grey colour and the fogged up windows. I sigh and walk to the front door and thankfully unlock the door for once. As soon as I'm through the door I drop my rucksack on the floor and throw my arms up in the air and yell, "Home sweet nightmare!" Immediately I hear excited little footsteps and I smile. I see Mia and Alex (their twin brother and sister and their only 6 years old but their adorable) speed round the corner and run up to me closely followed by my other younger sister Leah who's 11 years old. They all run over to me and I laugh and squat down to give Mia and Alex both a big hug and ruffle their hair each a little, they both burst into high pitch laughter which I love. I then straighten up and give Leah a big hug. She grips hold of the back of my shirt tightly and I know what she's feeling immediately. I tighten my grip slightly.
"It's okay Leah." I whisper and she lets out a long and deep breath of relief.
"I missed you." She half sobs half sighs.
"I know, I'm sorry I would have called but it must have slipped my mind." I admit feeling horrible that I forgot to phone her.
"It's okay, I'm just glad your okay." She loosens her grip and slowly we start to pull away. I lift her chin with my finger so she's looking me in the eye.
"How about I make you pancakes and we have a little bit of a catch up." She smiles and Mia and Alex go wild. I laugh and lead them all to the kitchen.