The Bird That Couldn't Sing (GBFF)

Chapter 14 - Sang

The monsters are right behind me, snarling and snapping as they near. I've been running away from them for what feels like hours, and I still haven't escaped or put any distance between us. In fact, they only seem to gain on me, seeminly beastly smirks on their ugly faces. They know they're about to get me.

And they're right.

Because as soon as I take another step away, they latch onto me and drag me back, carrying me down into a darkness I never even believed imaginable.

I wake up with a start, panting loudly, even though it makes my throat burn like hot coals. Ever since I was just a little girl--as young as nine--I've had these nightmares. Every night, it's just another monster in pursuit of me, and the monsters are never the same. Each time they come, they arrive in different forms, but they're all equally as vicious and terrifying. And they always seem to want me dead. They've also never failed in their pursuits; the dream always ends with me either dying or being dragged into a bottomless pit of some sort, a neverending darkness.

I just can't shake the nightmares, but sometimes my reality is even worse. So, on occasion, I welcome the nightmares, just to escape my horrific reality. But it's a miracle I even managed to fall asleep last night in the first place.

After Marie had let me out, I was in so much pain, I even contemplated what it would be like if the pain just went away--if I no longer had to hurt so much. Depressing, I know, but sometimes the pain just gets to be too much, even for me.

But the thing that snapped me out of my dark, all-consuming, depressing thoughts was the boys. Is it bad that they're the reason why I feel like I have a reason to live? Most likely. But I can't help it.

I know it's crazy, but I just feel so strongly for them. And everytime we touch, I feel sparks, something I'd only ever read about in romance novels... something I thought was too good to be true. It couldn't possibly exist, but it does. And I'm living proof.

But, the thing is, I feel something for all of them: Kota, Victor, and Silas. I know it's bad, but I can't help it. Though, I'd never act on it because I wouldn't want to ruin our new friendship. It means so much to me, and I don't know what I'd do if I were to lose it.

I slowly get up, my panting having calmed down a little, and trek over to my bedroom door. I open it quietly and peek my head out to make sure the coast is clear before I tiptoe over to the bathroom. Once I've reached the bathroom, I open the door silently, not even sparing a glance at the shower.

I know I'd almost drowned in the sink last night, but there was just something about the shower and the stool that was just so cruel and unforgiving. I don't think I'll ever be able to take one again. Obviously I'll have to clean myself soon, but I'm not even going to think about that right now.

So, shaking myself out of my thoughts, I turn to stare into the mirror and catch my horrific frame in its reflective glass. My hair is messily awry atop my head, strands of dirty blonde hair all over the place. My green eyes seem even more dull and haunted than before if that's even possible, and my face is still slightly red from the burning of the hot water. I'm sure it'd be much worse if it weren't for the hours I spent under the freezing cold showers, cooling down the burn.

Even thinking about it makes me shiver.

Yeah, I definitely don't want to step foot in a shower for awhile. But I'll find some way to clean myself because staying dirty and disgusting just isn't an option.

Right now, though, I'll just skip that part. I don't even want to think about that at this moment. Instead, I quickly brush my teeth and my hair, deciding not to put it in a clip today.