The Bird That Couldn't Sing (GBFF)

Chapter 37 - Katherine

Thump, thump, thump...

That bitch, she isn't in her room. I had to walk all the way up the stairs for that whore, and where did it get me? An empty bedroom with nothing but shitty books, a ratty dresser, and an even nastier bed.

It's filthy in here! There are clothes everywhere and it smells weird! Like vanilla and coconut. Disgusting, is what it is.

Grumbling to myself, I march out of the room and back down the hall to my bedroom to take my meds. My head has been killing me all day. It thumps and thumps and thumps. It just never shuts up! And the thumping is always louder when that little slut is around. Maybe it has to do with her slut mother and cheater of a father. He thinks I don't know about where he disappears off to on those "business trips" of his. Oh, but I do.

I know, and it makes me feel even more worthless. And it makes me love his whore of a daughter even less than I already do--the impossible thought!

Thump, thump, thump...

I grunt when I finally make it back to the darkness of my room, sitting on my bed for just a moment to contemplate.

She didn't used to be so bad. She was even, as disgusted as I am to admit it, cute.

But then she helped that boy who fell on the playground up--even went as far as smiling at him--and I've known ever since. She's just like her mother. The one who stole away my husband, her own cousin, and ruined my life. And then she went and died, and left me to take care of her mistake.

Oh, when that little bitch finally comes home, she's going to get it.

Thump, thump, thump...

Oh, and that person who came over the other day, they did seem nice enough--if not a little crazy to want to take her away. I mean, who would want her, especially over my sweet, beautiful Marie? I don't know who the person is; they were wearing a mask and their voice was distorted. Even I could retain that much over the amount of meds I'd had that day, way more than I was supposed to take. But what is a sick, helpless woman supposed to do? I've been lonely, I admit, without the husband that cheats on me. Without the daughter I adore. Without the thing I love to despise.

Yes, I have been lonely.

Thump, thump, thump...

Blast this stupid headache! I cannot even think anymore! Even my brain isn't safe from that wretched girl. I can't take this anymore.

I can't take this sickness.

I can't take my husband's infidelity.

I can't take my daughter's constant nagging about boys, boys, boys--no good, useless, dirty, things.

And I can't take the girl without the voice, that stupid, perfect voice that I stole away from her. She didn't deserve such a thing of beauty and perfection, not like my Marie.

That masked creature with the distorted voice can have her. And its accomplice, whoever it was that was waiting in the van behind it. "Volto," it called itself. I roll my eyes just thinking of it now.

Thump, thump, thump...

Reaching over to my bedside table, the one with all of my medicine, I grab the first bottle my hand comes into contact with and pop it open, the lid dropping to the floor beside my bed.

Dumping it into my hand, I don't bother counting out the pills in the darkness of my room, my sanctuary. Because I don't care. Marie will be fine with her dad; she'll move in with him and his mistress and live a far better life than I could ever give her. And Sang, that girl with the haunted eyes and broken voice, she might finally find some peace with that creature that wants to take her away.

Because, if I'm being honest, she does deserve it.

Thump, thump, thump...

She deserves happiness. She deserves the voice I stole. She deserves to find someone who loves her. I know she didn't actually like that boy on the playground; she just didn't like to see anyone hurt, and that little boy had no one to pick him up when he fell. He was alone, just like Sang. And her heart was just too big to let it stay that way.

Yes, maybe she'll finally find her happy ending. That's why I've made sure this 'Volto' is going to take her away. That's why I struck them a deal. They seem to care for her--Sang, the girl who I've always secretly loved. The girl I've ways wanted to call my own daughter.

Thump, thump, thump...

The rest of the pill bottle is dumped into the palm of my unsteady hand, and I lift it slowly to my mouth, shaking all the way. My cold palm finally meets the skin of chapped lips, and I open them wide, pouring the white capsuls into my dry mouth.

Thump, thump, thump...

I snatch the glass of lemon juice and vinegar from my nightstand and take the biggest gulp I can manage, swallowing every tablet that rests on my tongue.

Thump, thump, thump...

I hack up my lungs as they slide down my throat like bricks, the lemon juice and vinegar lighting my esophagus on fire.

Thump, thump, THUMP...

I've done this to myself. I'm the one to blame. Sang, you deserve better. You always have, and you'll receive it soon.

Thump, THUMP, THUMP...

They're coming to rescue you, sweetheart, from those boys who treat you like a prize. Who treat you like the whore I tried to convince myself you were, just because I hated your mother, and I hated myself.

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP...

I love you, Sang. I love you, Marie. And, agaisnt my aching heart and my better judgment, I love you, Robert, my husband; I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted, that you had to find it in your fifteen-year-old cousin.

The glass falls to the floor, shattering into a million pieces as lemon juice and vinegar soaks into my bedsheets and leaks onto the hardwood floor. And my body begins to shake and convulse.

I'm so sorry, Sang, I really am. Let this be the way I make all these years up to you. Let this be my redemption.

They'll be here soon.

They'll give you what I just couldn't, what those boys can't. They'll give you love.

Thump, thump, thu--
____________________________________

So, Sang's stepmother is dead... Is anyone else confused as to how they should feel? Because I honestly am.

And, if I'm still being honest, when I thought of this book idea, I never pictured the stepmother wishing for redemption or feeling guilty. But I knew I wanted to write her perspective at some point.

Even when I started writing it, I didn't really know where I was going with it, but then, as I started actually writing it, I got this idea and was super excited to do it. Becuase I hadn't seen anyone write it yet with a GB fanfic and came to the conclusion that it would be a big shock--Sang's stepmom works with Volto to take her away, but only because deep down inside, she's always loved and wanted the best for her.

So I really hope you liked the chapter!
As always, until next time...

Sincerely,
Tori