"What's up guys! Hi Alaska! I'm Kian, this is Jc it's so good to meet you! The boys have been talking about you a lot!" Kian says and gives me a hug. Jc gives me a hug to as we sit around and talk.
Times goes on and it's around 5 in the afternoon. We filled out time drinking wine and talking about life and YouTube videos. They agreed to film next week together.
"Alright we have to get going. We gotta go unpack at the beach house." Sam says and grabs my hand. Jc leads us out and we jump into the car.
"That was fun." I smile at Sam.
He holds my hand as we make our way to the condo.
We get there and Sam grabs out bags and we go inside. It's a small two bedroom condo with a kitchen and a living room and back porch that leads straight to the beach. We unpack in the bed room and sit down on the bed.
"Do you want me to go down the street and pick up some tacos while you take a shower?" He asks, remembering on the way here I said I needed to take a shower.
"Yeah sounds good b." I say and kiss him lightly. He smiles and grabs his wallet walking out.
I jump in the shower quickly shaving everything and washing my hair. I get out of the shower and brush my hair and dry off. I change into one of his sweatshirts and just a pair of underwear. I sit on the couch and watch family guy while I wait.
I hear the door unlock, "Hey!" He says and sets the food on the counter. He hangs up his keys and comes over to me with the food. We snuggle on the couch and watch family guy while eating in silence.
We lay down with eachother hoping to take a nap before our long night with David.
I had the worst feeling in the world conjuring in my stomach. As much as I liked having sex with him, i just couldn't help but feeling ultimate guilt.
We turn towards eachother and look into each other's eyes, "Sam." I whisper.
"Yeah?"
I gulp, "I feel like this is really fast. Like incredibly fast." I say, "I-i don't want to ruin anything. I don't want our relationship to be all about fucking. I like you Sam, a lot. But it's just everything is going so fast and I'm not ready."
He looks at me with guilt on his face. He swipes a hand over his face and drags it down his face, "fuck," he groans, "I feel like a fuckboy, I'm, I'm so sorry. I just I don't know." He says and sits up. "I-"
"I think that we need to slow down. A lot, what we're doing, I've never done before Sam, I just I need some air." I sit up quickly feeling panic rising in my chest.
"Wait!" He says before I walk out of the porch and shut the door.
I walk towards the beach and sit down by the water. The waves crash against the sand as I stare into the distance.
I pull out my phone and dial Colby's number.
"Hello?" He answers, "everything okay?"
Tears welt in my eyes as I sigh, "no?" I say and full on cry.
"Hey, what's wrong love?"
I take a deep breath, "Sam and i... I don't know what to do. I feel so uncomfortable knowing that I just let some guy I barely have sex with me. He's a great guy he really is, and I do like him, it's just I don't know enough. I just into this way to quickly. Colby I've only known you guys for a few days and me and Sam are already having sex. What if that's all we are? Just sex? I don't want that for Sam. I-I like him, i can't handle another heartbreak. Everything is just moving so fast-"
"Hey calm down. Your okay. Sam isn't like that at all. You seem to be making him really happy Alaska. I promise. Maybe just tell him that you need the rest of the night to think about things okay?" He suggests.
"I will, thank you Colby. Really." I say and wipe my tears away.
"Anytime bestfriend." He says and hangs up.
I scoop the sand between my fingers as the water covers my feet.
"Hey." I hear behind me. I turn around and see Sam standing there with a saddened look on his face.
"Hey." I respond.
He sits by me, "I don't want you to get scared and end up hating me Alaska. That's the last thing I want. I don't want you to be insecure or scared," He says and holds my hand, "ever."
I squeeze his hand, "Sam. Things have been fun. It's just, I can't just fuck someone so fast, I'm just not that type of person."
"I'm not either." He chuckles, "what's gotten into us." He laughs.
I laugh too, "I don't know."
We stand up and he hugs me, "let's wait, till we're actually ready, and know eachother more."
I smile, "I agree."
We walk back into the house and I go into our room. I shuffle through some clothes and put on a checkered crop top, a pair of skinny jeans, and a worn out pair of black converse. I brush out my hair and apply minimal makeup. I put my phone into my back pocket and walk out to see Sam waiting for me.
"You look incredible." He smiles at me.
I smile back, "thank you."
He takes my hand and leads me to the car as we take off for David's.
