"Alaska do you need to go home?" She asks me.
I bite my lip, not knowing what to say, "I- I don't want to go home." I whisper.
"Why?" She asks and sits down and wrap her arm around my waist.
"I just, I don't belong there. I hurt everything I touch and idk I just thought..." I trail off not knowing what to say.
She nods understanding and her phone dings, "oh shit, they're here, they know your here." She says.
My heart drops, "don't let them in." I slur and run into her room.
Morgan Adams runs into the room with me and locks the door.
"Oh fuck oh fuck." I shake.
She holds my hand and pulls me into a hug.
I hear pounding at the door and Tana yelling at them to leave.
The door busts open and I hear Colby's voice, "where is she?" He asks.
I hear a body throw itself against our door and I scream.
"Lask!" I hear Sam yell, "laska!"
My vision was blurry and I couldn't feel my body. They can't see me like this.
"Get the fuck out of here!" I hear brad yell.
"Bro, I just wanna know if Laskas okay." I hear Jake say defensively.
I sit up, "get out of here bro, she doesn't wanna see you guys." Brad says.
"What the fuck ever. I see pills fucking everywhere I'll call the fucking cops man." Corey says.
I hear the door slowly creep open and I see Sam. He makes eye contact with me as tears roll down my face.
He comes toward me and the door slams shut again, "let me fucking in there right now I swear to god!" Sam says as the door busts open. He stares at me.
"Alaska." He says disappointed and upset.
I cry more as the boys come in the room and Morgan leaves. They close the door and Colby Corey Jake and Sam stand in front of me.
Sam kneels in front of me, "why?" He says with tears brimming at his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry." I whisper. "I don't want you guys to see me like this." I say and squeeze my hands together.
They all kneel around me with worried looks. Jake scoots towards me and grabs my hands, "we aren't judging you. I understand what's going on. It's okay Lask. We aren't leaving you. We aren't abandoning you." He says.
Tear run down my face and I hug him.
Everyone else hugs me too and we stay like that until my crying slows down.
They pull away. "I don't know what to do." I sniffle.
Jake helps me up and we stand there, "let's get you home okay?" He says. We walk past Tana and then without saying a word a get into Colby's car. I sit in the back between Jake and Corey. We sit in silence as Colby drives back home.
We arrive and we all get out and I feel sick. I run over to the bushes and throw up. Colby comes behind me and holds back my hair. Sam walks in the house slamming the door shut, leaving me Corey Colby and Jake outside. I continue to throw up for a few more minutes and Corey runs to the car to get me a sweatshirt and a bottle of water.
I rinse my mouth out and Colby wraps his arm around my wait and brings me inside.
We hear crashes from upstairs and Corey and Colby run upstairs.
"I can't do this!" Sam screams and I hear another crash.
I chew the inside of my lip, and Jake takes me into his room.
"Here." He says and hands me a white washed tee shirt and a pair of my black shorts. "Go take a shower okay?" He says. I nod and walk into the bathroom. I peel my clothes off and get into the shower letting the hot water rinse my body. I wash my body, shave, and moisturize and get out of the shower. I dry off and put on the clothes and walk out. I felt a hundred times better.
Jake looks up from me from his bed. He pats his side and I sit down beside him. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his chest.
"How are you feeling b?" He asks.
I sigh, "I'm great. Sam hates me."
"No, he's just trying to understand what's happening." He says, "he doesn't like to admit to himself that there's something he can't control." He says.
I exhale and snuggle into his chest. I close my eyes and fall asleep on his chest.
I wake up and it's about 10 at night. Jake is passed out but now I'm wide awake.
I get up and walk into the living room and see Colby.
"Hey." I say.
He jumps a bit, "fuck, you scared me." He smiles.
I smile back at him, "sorry."
"Hey, so about Sam, uhm, he's not sure he can handle what's going on right now with you. He doesn't understand. I think it's best if you just give him his space right now." He says.
I nod, "I figured from the sound of him breaking shit." I say and sit down by him.
"I'm sorry Laska. I'm sorry all of this happened." He says.
"It's not your fault, sometimes things are rough and i don't know." I say.
"I get that. I'm just worried. Are you going to be okay?" He asks.
"Yeah, I'll be okay." I nod.
He smiles, "if you ever need anything I don't care when let me know okay? I care about you Lask I don't want to see you get hurt." He says.
I hug him, "I will."
"I'm glad, I think I'm gonna go to bed it's been a long day. You gonna be okay down here?" He asks.
"Yeah, goodnight b, I love you." I say.
He smiles, "love you too kiddo." He says and walks upstairs.
I get out my phone and look at it, I scroll through Instagram and see something I didn't want to see. A picture of Sam with another girl, dated from today, with the clothes he was wearing today. My heart cracks. I should have expected this. I take a deep breath and scream into a pillow by me. I shut off my phone and throw it on the other couch. I run my hands through my hair and close my eyes.
