Perspective

Chapter Ten.

"Dizzy in the head and I'm feeling bad
The things you've said have got me real mad
I'm gettin' funny dreams again and again
I know what it means but

Can't explain"

***

I managed to escape Harry, high tailing it out of there with Gizmo in tow, that little bacon tart staring back at Harry like he was his long lost lover I was tearing him away from.

I find it infuriating how sure of himself Harry is, I can't relate to it what so ever,  I question everything about myself - but that god damn smirk and the way he found my dismissal of his demand I go out with him tonight so entertaining is making me want to pull my hair out.

Actually, it's making me want to pull his hair out and shove it up his ass.

Maybe I'm so irritated because he gets under my skin, I want to be nonchalant and dismissive, not sparing a thought on him but since I met him that smirky idiot is all I've thought about.

I'm noticing the persistence in Frankie is definitely genetic, unfortunately it seems his cousin has even more than he does.

I don't understand what his preoccupation is with me, aside from the chase of it all, but even then - chase what? I'm nothing to catch.

I've wasted too much time thinking about this, but it killed time waiting in the reception area that I'm so familiar with now.

I sometimes wonder about the other people sat in the waiting room at the psychologist office, wonder about what lead them to coming here - what their reasons are.

It's not in a prying way, just more curiosity. I tend to wonder about people too much, try and figure them out - analyze them.

I'm far too observant for my own good,  a lot of the time I wish I could walk around blissfully ignorant and not notice the smallest mannerisms in someone's body language, a change of inflection in their voice and read a million things from it.

It gets exhausting, always being so hyper aware all the time, always vigilant about how another person that you're interacting with is feeling, noticing the smallest nuances so you can react appropriately.

I think that's another reason I like dogs, for the most part they're simple.

It's not like with people where they can have a smile on their face but the inflection in their voice can show that they're anything but, and you have to figure out why they're smiling but sound upset.

Sometimes it's what people don't say that screams louder than anything else, their silence can be deafening when it leaves your mind to wonder a thousand miles an hour to try and decipher what their silence is saying because they simply won't tell you.

I think, I think too much.

When I finally get into the office, sat on the same cream couch I've sat on for an hour once a month for three years now, looking at those warm hazel eyes behind her dainty framed glasses; I twiddle my thumbs in my lap, wondering what shit show my brain is going to go through for the next hour.

"How are you today Drew?" Mel asks, tilting her head with a friendly smile, that soothing soft tone to her voice filling the room.

I swear she could talk an insomniac to sleep, and I mean that as a compliment - she just has a very comforting voice.

"I didn't try to stick my head in my oven and turn it on, so I'd say I'm going alright" I say, keeping my tone dry but still sounding genuine; giving Mel a double thumbs up.