Perspective

Chapter Fifty Six.

"Hello, my old heart
How have you been?
How is it being locked away?
Don't you worry, in there, you're safe
And it's true, you'll never beat
But you'll never break"

Song: Oh Hellos - Hello My Old Heart

(I really, REALLY, love this song with this story.)

****

Tonight could've been a lot worse I guess.

We're on our way back so Sam can drop me at home from the movie we went to see at the cinema, where we both bought ice cream cones and some popcorn and Sam watched in amazement when I dipped the ice cream in my popcorn.

I hate that all it did was remind me of Harry.

Everything always reminds me of him.

We went out to grab dinner beforehand, which I argued with Sam over paying for but his excuse was "I'm your boss, I pay you. If you pay, technically I'm still paying anyway."

So that was annoying.

I managed to somehow form this closer friendship with Sam over the last few weeks, mainly when I came into work for a week straight and would burst into tears over something as simple as dropping cutlery on the floor.

I didn't need to say anything, he put two and two together with my random crying problem and the fact Harry stopped coming into the diner.

Sam didn't frustrate me as much anymore, and when I stopped being so closed off, his sweet and goofy personality actually helped.

He really has lived up to that big brother complex he's had since I've known him. I didn't even mind his hugs.

He went out of his way to offer to make plans with me, majority that I declined but sometimes it was as simple as staying back after work for an hour and playing cards together to get my mind off of things.

I didn't really go into detail about what happened, and Sam didn't prod too much. Instead Sam would do a lot of the talking about his life, or be the one asking me for advice.

He has a thing for the woman that owns the nail salon up the road from our work, and I may have talked him into weekly manicures just so he'd talk to her. It's actually been really sweet to watch. His nails have looked fantastic.

It does kinda feel nice though, making friends. I adore Frankie but he's the only person I've let get close to me since everything went really downhill.

Well... except for Harry.

I'm still so damn angry at Harry, especially after today. I wasn't angry before, I was absolutely crushed. But I finally managed to get to a place this week where I wouldn't fall to pieces if a song came on that we would listen to, or I saw his name came up on my phone -- then he shows up today; toys with my heart before acting like a complete asshole again and I'm in pieces again.

I thought my legs were going to give out from underneath me when I heard his voice. It made me want to burst out in tears over how much I'd missed it.

He had no right to act the way he did today, along with those hateful looks he was giving Sam.

Sam never said a bad word about Harry these last few weeks. In fact, he tried to reason on his behalf a few times. Sam was honest though, about how he felt. He did say if Harry came back and upset me he'd use his head like a hacky sack and that there were certain things he didn't agree with that Harry had done, but it wasn't his business to tell me what to do.