For Jinae, the next few weeks were a blur. She continued to prepare her students for their recital, going over compositions, recital attire, and every other fine detail. She tried to smile through it all, knowing that any of her unease would be felt and exhibited by her students as well. The last thing Jinae wanted was for her students to suffer during their exciting concert season. It felt so different to her this time though. Usually, she enjoyed her busy time as a teacher in November and December. The excitement of her students and the hard work they put in were inspiring and rewarding. She always felt like her work was worthwhile when her students, from the oldest to the youngest, smiled brightly and spoke excitedly about who would be attending the concert and where they would go to eat afterward. The burdens and stress of the job slipped away with the knowledge that she was helping to get a generation to pursue their passion.
Those feelings were still with her, but they weren't as clear. It felt as if she was swimming through a dense lake suspended in fog. The shore was too far to see, and the experiences around her weren't bringing her back in to shore as they normally did.
It was alarming, but there was still some surprising sources of comfort for Jinae.
Yoongi was one of them.
******
Life was moving so quickly for Yoongi. It seemed that as he finished one project or event, the next began with alarming speed.
There was no break in the busy days of work. His family tried desperately to fill the holiday season's gap with time spent together. His friends wanted to get together to celebrate as well.
There were so many excuses, so many events, and gatherings, so many responsibilities.
Within it, all was a familiar temptation.
The voice in the back of his head nagged him, telling him that if he only canceled some of his plans with Jinae, his time would be freer.
She would understand, she always did.
The two of them could get together after the busyness of the holidays calmed down.
Instead of meeting up with her once again, he could just call her.
Yoongi knew that he couldn't do those things though. Jinae needed him. If that meant he went straight from a long workday to her apartment to help her with her last student's lesson or with formal invitations for the ticket sales, that's what he would do.
The light in her eyes during the holiday season wasn't there, and that worried him. He knew he couldn't fix it for her, but he knew that he couldn't let her be alone.
Not again.
******
Jinae played the last note in the composition and let out a long breath. The white and black piano keys felt far away to her still. The applause from the crowd seated in the concert hall felt far away. Their smiling faces seemed far away. Even Yoongi, who was finally sitting in the seat reserved for him, seemed far away. Everything seemed far away. It wasn't as if she couldn't hear the music or anything like that. It was just that she didn't feel like she was making it. Or there to make it. Sometimes it was as if she didn't feel like a person.
But she was.
She knew that.
Jinae wondered why she still felt like this if she knew it wasn't true. Her therapist said it was because of her depression and dissociation with her environment.
Jinae took her bow and walked back behind the performance stage to change. She wouldn't stay for the after party. She didn't have the heart.
She also wasn't going to go out to eat with her father, even though he'd driven so far to see her perform.
She hadn't asked anyone to record the performance for her mother who couldn't come because of the discomfort traveling cause her now.
Jinae didn't want to see them right now.
She was just going to go home and maybe eat a cup of instant noodles. Maybe she would take some medicine for her headache and go to bed early. Or maybe she would lie awake all night to keep herself from dreaming.
Either way, she planned to be alone.
As she was pulling on her gray coat though, someone broke into her thoughts.
Yoongi placed his hand on her arm.
"You played really nicely, Jinae." She turned her head to look at Yoongi, noticing that he was smiling really brightly. His voice was soft and quiet so that only the two of them could hear. He knew she didn't want to draw attention to herself right then. Jinae nodded and smiled softly.
"Thanks, Yoongi." Yoongi took his hand off of her arm and rubbed his neck, his ears grew a little pinker.
"You also looked really, um, you looked really pretty up there." Jinae's eyebrows began to crease in surprise and confusion, misreading her reaction as one of offense, Yoongi rushed to fix it. "I mean you still do! You always do!" Jinae felt a small burst of amusement at his awkwardness, and maybe a bit of pleasure at his compliments.
"Thanks, Yoongi. You look very nice yourself." Jinae shifted her weight back and forth and so did Yoongi. The two stood awkwardly for a moment until Yoongi reached up and fluffed his hair, a nervous habit he had. Jinae read his action as a cue to leave. "Well, I'm gonna get going. Thanks again for coming." Jinae smiled and began to move towards the exit when Yoongi grabbed her arm again. Gently of course.
"Wait! I, um, thought I could take you to get something to eat!" Jinae was going to refuse, using her fatigue as an excuse, but her stomach chose the moment after Yoongi's offer to speak up about its empty state.
"Okay, I'll go." Yoongi grinned at her concession. "But, on one condition." Yoongi's smile faltered but more out of anticipation than fear.
"We have to get an American style breakfast for dinner," Jinae spoke with a stoic manner but broke out into a grin.
"What else would we do at 10 o'clock at night?" Yoongi's grin grew wider as he spoke, and the pair left the concert hall with linked arms excitedly discussing how much they were going to eat, a familiar comradery hanging in the air.
A/N: okay so hey, sorry Liar and I kinda fell off the face of the earth. Sometimes I just have like no inspiration and any talent I possess flies to the sub-Arctic. For some reason idek.
I'm back though, and you should expect more from me as far as updates go.
Also, I want to mention the reason why I didn't make a big deal about Yoongi attending Jinae's recital. Part of it was the fact that I had writer's block, but there's a deeper reason too. So when people start being a part of your life, there isn't naturally a big deal made. It's just life and we don't stop after every event to congratulate people for showing up. Also, Jinae's mindset isn't very clear to her right now, and so the feelings that she experienced earlier aren't as intense.
Anyways I hope you liked this chapter. Please eat well and take care of yourselves 💜
Featured Song: Nocturnal Creatures by Bastille
(Edited June 2019)
*Novi*
YOU ARE READING
Liar//MYG✔️
Fanfic"I love you Jinae." "Liar." "Correct." Min Yoongi Fanfiction Disclaimer: Discussion of divorce, depression, and unhealthy relationships.
