Yoongi bought the customary coffees as usual, even though he knew that their purpose was no longer the same. He was tired from his sleepless night, but he still left his apartment early so that he could get to Jinae's studio in the morning before any of her students arrived. He knew that his scruffy and sleepy appearance was practically shameful. Jinae would most likely be alarmed by the unkempt man when he showed up at her door.
Yoongi knew it didn't make sense to go through these motions when he wasn't expecting the usual outcome. He could still feel the foreboding feeling from the night before.
Yoongi knew he cared for Jinae, he knew that he even loved her.
Of course, he also knew that he could never tell her that.
It wasn't likely that she would feel the same way about him as he felt about her.
So Yoongi knew what he would have to do.
He had to lie.
Jinae was awaiting Yoongi's imminent arrival with great anxiety. She knew he would come to see her the morning after her performance. He always did after all. She'd played how it could work out in her head all through the sleepless night.
She knew that she could play it safe and say and do the same things she did every time. That would put her back in the same vulnerable, hurt spot that she had been in over and over again.
Jinae knew what she had to do instead, she would have to stop lying to herself and to Yoongi.
Yoongi didn't knock before he entered the studio. He knew that Jinae would be there waiting for him.
She was sitting at the piano playing. He rested against the doorframe while he listened to her. It sounded beautiful, flawless. He recognized what piece it was, and then remembered that it had been on the playbill for last night. Jinae's back was turned to Yoongi, but he still thought she looked beautiful. He always did.
Jinae banged on the piano and startled Yoongi. He hadn't been expecting it and he nearly dropped the cups of coffee he was holding.
"What are you doing here, Yoongi?" Jinae kept her back turned away from Yoongi and her voice was low.
"I- I brought you coffee." Yoongi felt himself becoming tongue-tied quickly, something that didn't happen to him often.
"No. That's not why you came, and we both know it, Min Yoongi." Her voice remained low and hard, something uncharacteristic for Jinae.
"Jinae, I don't know what you mean."
"Stop lying, Yoongi." The word 'lying' came out almost like a hiss. "You came because you wanted to make yourself feel better." Jinae paused, "You promised Yoongi." Tears burned her eyes. "You said you would come. You lied." Her voice dropped to a raspy whisper.
"I-"
"I looked for you before I played and once I'd finished. And when the hall was emptying. But you weren't there."
"Jinae I was going to come."
"Liar."
"What?" Yoongi's voice was in a tone of shock. He set the coffees down on a side table.
"You weren't coming. You were never going to come." Jinae was looking straight at Yoongi now. Tears began to fill her eyes, a result of the months and even years of frustrated feelings.
"Jinae, I was busy. Something came up with my work. You have to understand that."
"It would've been different if you would've told me when you knew that you couldn't come. Then I at least wouldn't have gotten my hopes up." Yoongi could see the same hurt in her eyes as he'd seen that day on the swing set. It caused his resolve to harden.
"I think we shouldn't see each other anymore Jinae." Yoongi dropped his gaze away from her. "I think that it would be best for both of us." Now it was Jinae who wore a shocked and panicked expression. She barely let his words fall out of his mouth before she interjected.
"This is classic! Min Yoongi, running away from his problems! You're such a coward!" Jinae wasn't one to raise her voice often but now she was shouting. With each moment her voice was growing more desperate and so was her expression, but Yoongi set his jaw in anger and resolution.
"Coward?" Yoongi's tone was defensive now, his pride hurt by Jinae's words. "You're the one who's never told me how you feel! It's preposterous." Yoongi clenched his fists, his former resolves somehow forgotten, and a new one replacing it. He'd planned on coming with quiet passivity and resolve, ending the relationship quickly and abruptly, with no mess. Her words had changed that. "Well, I'll tell you how I feel about you right now!" Yoongi was wanted to be honest with Jinae about how he felt, for once, even if it would hurt the two of them. He needed her to know why he had to do this. There was a beat before Yoongi continued, "I'm sorry." Yoongi let his hands hang limp beside him while Jinae scoffed at him.
"I'm not your fool, Yoongi. I know when you're lying."
Feeling as though he'd been punched in the mouth, he changed his mind like a fast-moving storm. He leaned closer and whispered, slight malice edging his words, "Prove it."
Jinae clenched her jaw.
He leaned back, and "I love you," tumbled out of his lips. His face was still etched with anger, but his tone was nearly unreadable.
"Liar."
"Correct." Jinae's breath caught in her throat at his reply. His laugh was cruel and cold sounding to her when it came out. His eyes hardened and she looked away. It echoed off her studio's walls and it stung.
Yoongi didn't love her, and now Jinae knew the truth. Or so she thought.
After a few painful moments of silence, Jinae spoke again. "Well, I guess you've gotten what you came for, Min Yoongi." She turned away from him, rejecting the notion that he would see her cry. "Leave." With a grimace and a flash of hurt in his eyes, Yoongi did just that.
******
Yoongi had gotten what he wanted. He'd wanted Jinae to let him go so that she could be free. He wondered why something he had wanted made him feel so awful.
He didn't allow himself to look back when he walked out of the studio. It wouldn't have been fair to Jinae. So he walked with a steady, measured gait, careful to keep his eyes trained on what was in front of him.
Jinae felt like she couldn't breathe. It felt as if someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. She knew that kicking Yoongi out of her life had been the right thing to do but she wondered why it hurt her so much.
Her studio was quiet now, but her head was pounding from the blood flushing her face. She wondered why she cared so much about Yoongi and their friendship. Her breathes began to become shallow and rushed. Her thoughts began to spiral, leaving her vulnerable and valueless. This time though, she didn't make the conscious effort to defend herself.
A/N:
please eat well and take care of yourselves 💜
Featured Song: Good Goodbye by One OK Rock
(Edited June 2019)
*Novi*
YOU ARE READING
Liar//MYG✔️
Fiksi Penggemar"I love you Jinae." "Liar." "Correct." Min Yoongi Fanfiction Disclaimer: Discussion of divorce, depression, and unhealthy relationships.
