Countryhumans x Reader Oneshots

America x Pessimist!Reader - Ironic Intuition

<<Chapter art credit to artist!>>
(Modern era)

Warning: mild swearing, and violence.

The smell of spring and flowers slapped you in the nostrils. Rolling your eyes, you continued your way into work. You opened the door, sat down at your cubicle, and finished hours of paperwork.

Your occupation was an attorney, and let's say you didn't enjoy it. Hell, you didn't enjoy anything. Existing has never been easy or given you a reason to be happy. You fought for everything in your life, and you developed a mean attitude in result.

On your way to the coffee pot, the new rookie had accidentally scuffed your shoe walking behind you.

"Watch it." You snapped.

"S-Sorry!" He yelped and skittered away as fast as he could.

With a humph, you sat back down at your desk and noticed a new email from your boss.

Y/N:

Your usual client is back in jail again. Police reported finding him passed out in the dumpster of the local elementary school. The trial is tomorrow. You're the only one that can back him out of this offense, as this is the deal breaker. He will go to prison if not.

- Mr. Thompson

Groaning again, you grabbed a rain coat and headed out the door to greet your old "friend".

///

The clicking of the rolling metal bar door rang in your ears. The deputy lead you in to the cell to see a sulking figure laying on the bench. You made sure your water bottle was in your hand.

"I'll leave you to it." The deputy nodded and exited the cell row.

"Hey, get up." You splashed the refrigerated water onto what looked like a head.

"Hrgh...where am I?" A groggy voice called out.

"In jail. Again. Trial's tomorrow. I'm taking you to the back for a while to get this shit figured out." You grabbed the figure's arm and pulled.

A tired face looked up at you. The reds, blues, and whites were dull. However, they returned to full brightness upon seeing you.

"Y/N! Back again? Can't ever get enough of me, huh?" America waggled his eyebrows at you.

"In your dreams, twit. Get moving." You commanded.

Protesting, America was dragged back into a conference room.

"Now," you pulled out paper "what do you remember?"

"Well..."

—
"Yo, America mate, I think you've chugged enough beer tonight." Australia attempted at coaxing.

It was midnight, and the party a few countries were at was winding down.

"N-No...let me jussshht have one more." America cracked open another one.

"Enough!" Germany slapped it out of his hands.

"But...hey now, don't have to be so harshhh."

"I'm taking you home."

Germany proceeded to shove America in his car, and started driving to U.S.A.'s apartment. As they passed by the elementary school in the suburbs, a medium sized animal darted across the road. Germany didn't react fast enough, and the animal was obliterated.

Germany got out of the car to find only blood and fur on the busted front end of his car. Shouting grabbed his attention away from it.

"Bomi! What have you done to my Eth-dog?!?!" An enraged North Korea stomped out of his home across the street, to the disturbing scene.