Till death us do part

'The lovers, the dreamers, and me'

Somehow, he managed to get through the first show without dying. He wasn't ridiculed by the judges, and he had mostly supportive tweets. He didn't fall over, that was a bonus. If he had thought the jive was hard, this week they had given him the Charleston, someone in production must absolutely hate him.

He had laughed when he found out that he would be dancing to cotton eyed Joe, since the bloody song came out in 1995, it had haunted him. As he got older, it seemed to follow him around. He supposes it's a thatching song, and that's what this week's dance is based on. He would have rather had combine harvester though, now that was a tune.

'If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe.' The music sings, as the pair start their dance. 'I'd been married long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from Cotton-eyed Joe?' The pair finish their dance, laughing at one another.

'It's good Joe, but you need to give more.' She tells him. 'I'm in this to win it this year.' She tells him, he nods. He want's to-do well, but this is hard. He is in love with his dance partner, and there is fuck all he can do about it. It didn't matter that she had a boyfriend or a kid, the heart wants what the heart wants. He doesn't understand it, he had never felt like this before. He had only known her a matter of weeks, but she consumes all of his thoughts.

He had shocked Dianne, telling her that the song cotton eyed Joe isn't actually a very innocent song, one that doesn't have any meaning. Rather, it is about a sexually transmitted infection. This entertained them for far too long, just like they were teenagers.

He had noted how, at the end of the day, she wasn't dying, marvelling at how she managed to-do their training and then the pro dance. She just laughed, telling him it was her job, she would be concerned if she wasn't able to-do this. He knew that even if she was sweating, she would still see the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

It was on the train down to the west country that Dianne decided to spring a new piece of information on him, just as the train pulled out of Swindon train station. 'You know my daughter?' She asks, as he nods, looking up from the phone. 'Well she doesn't exist.' She grins, watching his face turn from shock to laughter. 'You are so easy to wind up.' She tells him. 'I don't have a daughter called Amelia, in fact I don't have a child at all.' She laughs. 'Your face Joe.'

'Are you joking?' She nods her head. 'I'm going to get you back so bad Dianne Buswell, watch your back.' He threatens, laughing that someone had actually pranked him. His friends had tried, but it turned out it was his dance partner who was able to prank him, he's slightly let down by them. If only she was single, she would be the perfect girl. He kind of wanted to leave, this hurt. It hurts more knowing that she doesn't have a child, because it demonstrated, yet again, that she was the perfect girl. She pranked him, she pranked the person who was unable to be pranked. Seeing her was a constant reminder, he couldn't have here. A constant reminder of the fact that he was infatuated with his dance partner, and there wasn't anything they could do.

That evening, he hears a gentle knock on the door. He opens it, and he's met with a grinning Dianne Buswell. 'What brings you to my room?' He queries, inviting her into his room. She grins, making a b-line for the bed, falling into it laughing. 'Do you not have your own bed?' He asks, not really knowing why she was here, but he wasn't complaining. 'Shift.' He jokily pushes her to the end of the bed.

'I was bored.' She confesses, sitting up and running her hand through her hair. 'Did you want to watch a movie? I have popcorn.' He doesn't know how a bag appeared in the room, but he watches in awe as she pulls out a variety of sweet stuff.

'What if I say no?' She shakes her head.

'Tough tit.' They sit together, the movie getting abandoned as they talk about one another, getting to know more about one another. There was so much they had shared, yet they knew so little about one another. In a different life, they would be lying on his sofa, maybe with a glass of a decent wine. They would be laughing at some inside joke, instead of sitting opposite one another, they would be cuddled up to one another.