Till death us do part

'You're just a small bump unborn'

'I made you a card.' A small voice calls, peeking around the card. Dianne nods, she can't manage a smile. 'I'll leave it here.' The voice tells her, the disappointment evident in his voice at the lack of a response. At ten, he had a basic idea of what happened. Maybe it would be easier, if they were young enough to forget it? Forget her.

'No come and sit with me.' She tells the boy, who nervously comes towards the bed, as he sits down he is pulled into a fierce hug. 'I love you so much my darling boy.' She takes a deep breath, steading her voice. It's the first time since it happened that she's felt well enough to hug her children, she's been in agony for the last few weeks, both mentally physically. As if losing Charlotte wasn't painful enough, her body decided to remind her that she should have a baby when her milk came in, she was supposed to look after her After eight year, it still hurt. This was just added pain to agony she held within. 'Is your sister home?' She asks, suddenly aching to have them both in her arms.

'No, she went to Brownies, auntie Zoe is bringing her back with Ebony and Sienna.' He tells her, referring to their younger cousins. Zoe had moved up a while back, and the kids spent most of their time together, between them was a three-year age gap. Max was the eldest, he was 10, as was Ebony. Amy is eight and the twins Sienna and Flynn are seven. 'Are you okay mummy?' The woman nods, biting her lip.

'I will be baby boy, it might take time.' He nods.

'Daddy is worried about you.' He tells his mother, who instantly feels bad. She knows that Joe is suffering, she just doesn't know how to cope. It feels like it's been the longest twenty-three days, eight hours and twenty-seven minutes. The first three she was in hospital, having been very sick. Going home was a cruel reminder that she wasn't bringing her baby home. Then there was the funeral five days ago, she hadn't seen Joe since. She didn't want to see Joe.

'I know baby.' She says. 'How is school?'

'It's okay, daddy let us have a day off.' He confesses. 'We went to London Zoo.' Dianne nods, she can't be angry at Joe wanting to spend time with their kids. She would have loved to have seen their face when they saw the big cats, they had promised them a trip to the zoo, she was glad Joe was thinking about them, thinking of their needs over than his own. He was far less selfish than her.

Life had to go on, she knew she had to remember that they were suffering as well. She hadn't wanted them to be at the funeral, but Rina had persuaded her that the kids need to be able to say goodbye, but how could they say goodbye to someone they don't know?

The funeral had been attended by their closest friends and family, Rina and Mark having taken it upon themselves to come over. She had wanted to stay longer, but Dianne told her she was needed in Australia. She's been in bed since they got home.

'Max.' A voice calls. 'Max, where are you.' The child hides under the duvet, like he used to do as a toddler.

'Daddy told me I shouldn't disturb you.' He whispers, as if he is going to get in trouble. 'He said we should let you come to us.' Dianne didn't know that her heart could break anymore, she couldn't lie around like this anymore. She has to get out of bed at some point, and that would be today.

'Max.' His name is called a third time, this time a little louder.

'He's here.' Dianne tells him, as she gets a heart-breaking look from her son. 'He's helping me get up.' She watches as her sons face lights up at the prospect of her actually leaving the bed. Joe enters the dark room, not commenting on how it is a mess, nor does he comment on the bloodshot eyes. 'Come here.' She motions for Joe to make her stand-up. It takes a while, but she manages to leave the room.

'What would you like for dinner?' Joe asks her, taking in her pale demeanour. 'We have pasta, piz-' Dianne shakes her head.

'We'll get a takeaway.' She declares, as her son comes and sits next to her, cuddling into her side. Joe nods a smile gracing his face as he takes the seat the other side of the chair. 'I love you so much.' She smiles at him, taking in his aftershave.

A knock at the door alerts them to the fact that their daughter is home. 'I'll get it.' Dianne volunteers, freeing herself from her sons clutches, making her way slowly to the door.

'Hey Jo-' Zoe starts, staring at her sister-in-law.

'Mummy.' The young girl squeals, as her dad and brother appear. Dianne smiles, as she clings onto her daughter, holding her a little tighter than she usually would.

'Hi Zo.' Joe brings his sister into a hug. 'Do you guys want to come in for a cup of tea.' She goes to answer, but the look Joe is giving her suggests that there is only one answer. 'Bring in the kids in.' She nods, motioning for the three kids to come in.

'Why don't you play with your cousins.' Dianne suggests to her daughter, who hasn't left her side since she came in. 'I'll be here when they go.' She tells her, pushing her forward a little.

'Promise?' She questions, her voice breaking a little.

'I promise.' She manages to endure a conversation with Joe and Zoe without bursting into tears, she didn't feel like talking much. For the first time, she is able to tuck her children in. She hadn't been able to face either of her children, they couldn't help it, but they were a painful reminder of everything she had lost. However, she knew this had to change. Not only was she hurting herself, she was hurting her children more. The looks they gave her today told her that she needed to change that.

Somehow, herself lying in her daughters' bed at midnight, not wanting to leave. The bed wasn't big, but Americus was small enough to allow Dianne to lie their comfortably. She had allowed Joe back in their bed, but tonight she needed her daughter. After spending the rest of evening with her, she put her to bed, where she cried that she didn't want her mum to leave her. Dianne had compromised and promised that she would stay until she fell asleep, this was the first time she had asked this in a long time. After seeing her daughters crying face, she knew that she had to put on a brave face, this couldn't go on forever, it was hurting the kids. Dianne just didn't have the heart to leave the child.

She doesn't sleep that night, she hasn't slept much over the last few weeks, so it makes no odds to her, one more sleepless night. As she tries to leave, her daughter grabs her, as if she doesn't want her mum to go, mumbling something in her sleep. For the first time in a while, Dianne feels like she is coming out of the vortex she's been living in, baby steps she promises to herself, she has to start being a mum to the two beautiful kids she already has.

A/N thoughts?