Rylee Girl

Too Much

"Don't stress about things you can't control. Just let it be."

       The next day I went up to the gas station to look for Benjamin, but he was gone. Jose, the gas station owner, told me that Ben had quit yesterday afternoon out of the blue. I thanked him and left the gas station to drive by his house. His truck wasn't there either. He was gone. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed his number. It rang once and then went to voicemail. He deliberately hung up on the call. Defeated I drove Betty back home, stripped down to my underwear grabbed a box of ding dongs, clutched the galaxy lighter Benjamin had given me the first night we met and crawled into my bed never wanting to see the light of day again.

A couple weeks later I continued to lay low and almost everything had gone back to normal. Everyone's lives moved on without me. My mom and Larry were hot and heavy and clearly very smitten with each other. She continually talked about a future with him. He's a great guy and I'm incredibly happy for her but it's a little sickening to watch when your heart was just broken. Luke and Amy never broke up and were supposedly 'backdooring' frequently. Anything to stay a "virgin" I guess. I never would have slept with him if I had known how things were going to end up. I never thought I could be this so far over Luke, but I definitely am. Although, it really isn't fair that I'm in hiding and he gets to have anal sex, but whatever, it's fine. Steven moved on and is fucking anything with tits unsurprisingly. Ryan and that bitch Tiffany look as happy as can be constantly posting kissing selfies on Facebook. Whatever girl... Have fun with that half a hot dog. Piper and Joey were living in utter baby bliss talking about nothing else, looking up cribs and car seats and getting ready for her first ultrasound this weekend. They had already gone to the doctor to confirm the pregnancy and got to hear the heartbeat. Piper described it as the most amazing sound to ever hit her ears. I didn't even know a sound could be amazing until then. They already settled on names too. Oliver if it's a boy and Lilly if it's a girl. Lillian Rylee to be exact.

Friday night, the day before their first ultrasound, Ryan threw a party at his house. Not wanting to get out of my safe and warm hermit shell, I decided to stay home and tried to convince Piper to stay home with me since she shouldn't be out partying anyways while pregnant.

"Rylee girl... I'm not drinking. I'm just going to hang out and keep an eye on Joey. It'll be fun though! You should come... You haven't been out of your house in weeks." She tried to defend herself and convince me.

"Ehh... No thanks" I replied. "I'm just really not in the partying mood." I told her.

"Alright Rylee girl... Well I'll call you in the morning since you'll probably be asleep by the time we leave the party." She said.

"You know it!" I laughed.

"Y'all have fun. Be safe. Love youuuu!" I said.

"Love you too Rylee girl!" She replied hanging up the phone.

I dialed Ben's number. Just like every other time I've called since he left, it rang once and went to voicemail. I listened to his outgoing message and longed to hear his voice in real life.

"Hey you reached Ben. Leave a message." it said. Sweet and simple... just like him.

*beep*

I hung up quickly before I accidently left a message and laid back down. I pressed play on my remote to restart the movie, "When Harry Met Sally", that was paused on my tv, flicked the galaxy lighter a few times and drifted off to sleep dreaming Benjamin would come running for me saying "when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible".

I woke up at 3:34 am to the sound of my phone ringing. It was the generic ringtone for numbers not saved in my phone. I groggily looked at it, didn't recognize the number and put it back down, too tired to answer it. It stopped ringing and then immediately started again. I grabbed my phone angry that my sleep was being disturbed.