Paris Wills is a dreamer. His father always said he got it from his mom, an artist who was unlike any other. Her virtue was painting, and Paris' is poetry. No matter where he is, Paris finds inspiration for his poems.
In the summer after his sophom...
I'm sitting in Gray's truck, wearing acid washed jeans and a loose pastel tank top that hangs down my small but steadily growing figure. I've been eating more since Gray came into my life, a few extra pounds taking shape on my stomach, arms, and legs. It feels wonderful to actually have a desire to eat. Most days I was too solemn to even consider eating, the thought of food bringing no pleasure to me.
"Ready to go?" Gray asks as he hops into the bench seat of his truck, wearing a light yellow tank top that hugs his muscular frame nicely against his black joggers. His beauty amazes me, muddling my brain and rendering me breathless.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll have to wait and see," he responds, his bubblegum pink lips curling into a sneaky smirk. Gray told me when I woke up that he had an exciting day planned for us, and I can't wait to experience whatever surprises he has in store.
"Nice jeans by the way," Gray adds with a wink, and it sends my heart aflutter, euphoria blooming in my chest. These were the jeans he dressed me in at our photoshoot. I reach over and kiss his cheek, alight with joy and ready for our adventurous day ahead.
***
Gray parks his truck on a cliff overlooking the cool pulsing turquoise current of Santa Barbara's beautiful beach as the afternoon sky shines down on us in its magnificent glory. All sorts of clouds are out for us to see, like cotton balls trailing the pale cyan sky, electrified by the warm sunlight.
In the back seat sits a picnic basket full of assorted cheeses and crackers, along with grapes and apples. Gray puts the picnic basket between us on the front bench seat, and I giggle at his cute yet sophisticatedly organized arrangement of Tupperware.
"This is the best date ever," I tell him as I crunch one of the apple slices.
Gray smiles before biting into a grape, the violet juice spilling down his chin. He looks around frantically for a napkin, and I can't help but laugh at his silliness.
"Here, I'll get it," I assure him, grabbing a napkin from the picnic basket and wiping off the bold stain from his skin. Gray chuckles awkwardly and peers at me with his emerald eyes, before reaching in and kissing me on the lips; our first kiss since last night. His fingers find their way into the belt loops on my jeans. I laugh as the picnic basket tumbles down to the floor, caught in the aftermath of my body falling down on the bench seat. Soon Gray is laughing with me, the two of us hysterical, beaming at absolutely nothing but each other. Completely unable to comprehend our combined happiness.
***
We make out for the next few minutes, but it feels like hours of serenity with his lips pressed gently against mine. I'm holding tightly to his yellow tank top, bunching it up in my firm grip, the A/C in Gray's truck blasting at 60 degrees but providing absolutely no relief to the hot sweat dripping down our skin.
"I wish summer would last forever," Gray huffs, taking a deep breath in between kisses. The tempo of his heartbeat registers within my chest, echoing through my body. It makes my skin vibrate and tremble with an intoxicating current, reaching a grand crescendo before every nerve goes numb.
"Me too," I reply mid-groan, readjusting my back on the squishy bench seat, the plush stuffing poking my neck as the afternoon sun blindingly shines through the windshield.
The realization that school is a few weeks away settles within me before I can push it away. Yesterday, my fears of junior year were in the background, far enough away for me to focus on the present. Now, they are at the forefront of my mind, keeping me from Gray. The thought of stressful assignments, difficult exams, and malicious bullies consume my mind. I wonder if we will even be out to everyone, or if we'll keep our love a secret. Suddenly I find myself overwhelmed by all these questions racing inside me and my skin stings from the scorching heat of the sun. Gray's kisses become suffocating in this blazing truck. I use all my strength to push him off of me, throwing him to the other side of the truck.
Immediately I register the pain in Gray's posture. He closes up like a clam, seconds away from tears. Worried that I have hurt him and terrified of the upcoming school year, tears pour from my eyes. I wail uncontrollably, panting heavily in the aftermath of a heat-fueled panic attack.
"I...I'm sorry," I manage to muster, stuttering through every syllable, horrified that Gray will walk out of this truck right now and abandon me.
"Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you? Was I going too fast?"
"No, Gray, you were fine. I mean, you were more than fine. You were amazing. It's just when you said 'I wish summer would last forever' it made me think about school and our relationship and junior year starting and-"
With a delicate calmness, Gray quiets me by wrapping my body in his sweet embrace. He puts me in his lap, centering me amidst my panic.
"School sure does complicate things," Gray whispers into my ear, letting me melt into him like a cushy marshmallow.
"I don't wanna hide what we have. From our families, from our peers, from anyone." I mumble into his firm shoulder. Gray presses his soft lips on my head full of unruly black curls before running his fingers through them. I look up at him and his thin mouth curl into an encouraging smile, assuring me that everything will be alright.
"Me either. And if that means pounding bullies who try to tear us down, then I'll be happy to throw the first punch."
Solace overcomes me, cooling my body with reassuring peace. I remain in Gray's lap and we both stare at the coming sunset with hope, knowing we'll have each other to get through whatever shit may come our way.
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