Paris Wills is a dreamer. His father always said he got it from his mom, an artist who was unlike any other. Her virtue was painting, and Paris' is poetry. No matter where he is, Paris finds inspiration for his poems.
In the summer after his sophom...
How will I sleep without Paris' arms wrapped around me?
How will I get through the nightmares that infect my once peaceful dreams?
I don't want to think about that now. All I want is to go for a drive.
***
"There ain't no reason you and me should be alone/Tonight yeah baby, tonight yeah baby/But I got a reason that you-hoo should take me home tonight/I need a man that makes it right when it's so wrong/Tonight yeah baby, tonight yeah baby/Right on the limit's where we know we both belong tonight/It's time to feel the rush to push the dangerous/I'm gonna run right to, to the edge with you/Where we'll both fall far in love!"
The two of us are screaming our heads off with the wind blowing through our hair. We're madmen, zooming along the Santa Barbara coast, taking in the waning summer sea breeze that brings with it scents of salty sea water, orange popsicles, and backyard barbecues. To think I'm starting my last year of high school in only four days terrifies me, but excites me too. I'm this close to graduating, to starting a new life at college. The only thing holding me back is Paris. No matter what happens, he needs to be by my side. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make that happen. But I don't want to get ahead of myself. All I want is to go for a drive.
"I'm on the edge of glory and I'm hangin' on a moment of truth/Out on the edge of glory and I'm hangin' on a moment with you"
I really do feel like I'm hanging onto this moment with Paris. The two of us are the perfect pair. We support each other and I can't imagine living without him. The thought of ever being away from him makes me sick to my stomach and sends my head spiraling. The only thing I can do is reach over and kiss his perfect cherry red lips and remember this moment for the rest of my life.
"Watch where you're driving, idiot!" Paris yelps, forcing me to concentrate on the road. The crystal vibrant blue waters are crashing in their undeniable magnificence onto the hot sand and it reminds me of how Paris and I crashed into each other only weeks ago, two very different people meeting and connecting almost instantly. I feel like every moment I spend with Paris, a part of me drifts into him, like the fine pebbles of sand trailing under the waves with the currents' naturally unpredictable ebbs and flows.
This is Paris and I's last moment together before school starts again. The weekend will be filled with last-minute preparations. If only high school could be over already.
***
I can't seem to let go of Paris' thin frame, taking in one whiff after another of his delightful jasmine scent. I want to be able to remember this moment when I'm lying all alone in my bed, wishing there was someone to hold me. I want to remember the way Paris' body heat radiates onto me, how his scent hypnotizes me and reminds me of all the memories we've shared, all the stolen kisses, all the cozy cuddles, all the times we danced around the kitchen floor. Every moment we've shared burns in my mind from the simple scent of jasmines.
It hurts for me to let go, even though I know he'll be right across the street from me, mere steps away if I want to hug him or kiss him or see his perfect face. After sleeping in the same bed, there's nothing I want more than to live with Paris for the rest of our lives. I wish the next chapter of our lives could start now. I wish we could skip high school and breeze forward to college classes, shared apartments, cozy living quarters, evening snuggles. We'll cook dinners and watch TV together. We'll go to art shows and concerts and cram for exams. We'll be a unit, a unit absolutely nothing can break.
Sadly, we have to wait. It's time for me to let go. It's time for me to go back home and await the arrival of my parents. It's time for me to act interested in the details of their little getaway, and sure I'll enjoy hearing all the joy they shared on their wonderful weekend, but there's no denying how hard it'll be to spend a second in that house without Paris by my side.
It takes every part of my soul to let go.
***
The night ends with a game of poker that I lose and a rerun of Friends I hardly pay attention to. I go upstairs to bed before the episode ends, and I wonder if my parents notice anything different about me. I'm trying to put on a brave face, but it's going to take some time.
***
I lay there for almost two hours, fluffing my pillow, resting in any and every position I can think of, staring at my phone desperately hoping that the clock will somehow magically speed up and it'll be daytime again. How am I going to get through this? What am I going to do?
Suddenly, I hear a creak at my bedroom door and the pitter-patter of feet making their way toward me. I sit up and it's like a bundle of rose petals is opening up in my heart and blooming in all their radiant beauty. Delight and harmony overcome me. There, right in front of me, is Paris, welcoming me with a tired smile on his face and a glow in his midnight eyes.
"I thought you might need a hug," Paris says, lying down next to me, slipping under the warm covers. My lips curl and shivers run down my spine from the feeling of Paris snaking his arms around my waist and folding his fingers on top of my abdomen. With Paris, I'm at absolute peace. It's as if instant relief has taken control of all my loneliness and sadness and filled it with thoughts of love and joy. It's Paris that's filled me with that love - it's Paris that's saved me from all the loneliness and sadness eating me up inside.
Right before I close my eyes, a mental photograph forms in my mind of a young man afraid of loneliness and a protector holding him in his arms. It's the best picture I've ever taken, even if I'm the only one that can see it.
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